Embrace God's truth with our new book, The Lies that Bind

A Marriage Prayer

Today Andrew and I celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. I’m happy, though we happen to be in the midst of one of those bumpy patches that plague almost every marriage.

I woke up, made coffee and sat down to pray. I pried out the words I’ve used almost daily for two decades: Lord, thank you for my husband. Pause. Teach me to love him.

I pray this prayer when things are going well, and when they are rough. For if there’s one thing marriage has taught me, it’s that I’m only ever beginning to learn what it means to love my husband.

Love is easy when it’s a warm and fuzzy sentiment. Love is hard when I see my husband’s flaws clearly, or when he lets me down, or when we disagree on how to parent a difficult child. Love requires the rock-solid belief that God has given me Andrew for our mutual benefit, even when I am blind to the good in it (at the moment).

Marriage is about drawing closer to God through each and every blessing and conflict and disappointment. And it’s about closing my daily prayer for my spouse with lines like these:

Lord, bless Andrew in whatever ways you see he needs. Grant him the grace to grow nearer to you through me… and despite me. You know him better than I do, Lord. Teach me to love him as you do.

A Devotion for Difficult Times

I wiped my sweaty palms on my pants. This was my first attempt at rock climbing, and I was terrified. I hadn’t been keen on trying it, but my husband, Jim, was insistent. “You’ll be surprised at how it will build your confidence for other things. It’s quite safe, and besides, you might even like it!”

Swinging from the end of a rope off a cliff didn’t sound like my idea of fun, but his persistence paid off. I stepped into the climbing harness and put on a hard hat. The belay rope, secured to the rock and the mountaineering instructor at the top, was clipped onto the harness. I knew I was safe, but I was still terrified. Reaching up, my fingers clamped onto the narrow ledge of cold stone. After climbing about thirty feet, I was ready to give it up and turn back.

“Don’t get discouraged!” the instructor called down. “It’s actually easier to keep going forward. Besides, I know you can do it.” Finally, I crawled over the cliff top—exhilarated, exhausted, amazed—while my husband and kids cheered from below.

Some months later, Jim was killed by a drunken driver in a head on collision. When the news came in the middle of the night, I felt as if I’d been kicked in the stomach. But as I hung up the phone, my mind flashed back to that summer scene in Colorado.

God, I’m terrified, and I don’t know the way up this mountain. But I know You’re up there, and You have me “on belay.”

Learning to Appreciate the Smaller Things in Life

“The kingdom of heaven is like a grain of mustard seed that a man took and sowed in his fi eld. It is the smallest of all seeds, but when it has grown it is larger than all the garden plants and becomes a tree…”—Matthew 13:31–32

“Aurora, run and grab me some kindling, please,” my husband, Jim, said to our daughter as he carried an armload of firewood over to the woodstove.

“But there’s already such a big pile of wood in here, Papa!”

Jim laughed. “All the big wood in the world won’t do me a bit of good without the small stuff to get it started.”

Kinda like love, I thought as I listened to their exchange.

I looked down at the letter I was holding in my hands. It was from my childhood band teacher, a delightful surprise that had just come in the mail. I was touched that this person from my past would take the time to write.

And I’d awoken this morning to Aurora bringing me coffee in bed.

And here was Jim, cheerfully bringing in firewood so we could stay warm on this wintry afternoon. Earlier, my mom had messaged me, saying Jim had called her out of the blue, just to check on her. “It made my day,” she’d said. And that had made mine.

Grand gestures of love, like big trips to faraway places and expensive gifts, can be amazing and exciting. But it was these little things, love’s kindling, that really allow its fire to blaze.

Thank You, Lord, for the countless little things in my life that all add up to the biggest thing of all: I am loved by you.

How to Find the Guideposts in Your Life

Set up road signs; put up guideposts. Take note of the highway, the road that you take. Return, Virgin Israel, return to your towns. —Jeremiah 31:21 (NIV)

I have read Daily Guideposts (the devotional now called Walking in Grace) for many years. This is a fond tradition for me. However, it is ironic that I have not glimpsed the word guideposts within the text of the Bible until today. This morning I read Jeremiah 31:21 for the first time and the word guideposts jumped off the page with new insight.

Becoming lost or disoriented on our life’s journey is a common experience for most people. As we traverse adulthood we are forced to travel new paths. We often fear we have lost our way, our perspective, and our connection to God and each other. It seems we have not seen a clear guidepost to give direction in a long time.

What helps me find direction in my life is listening to the stories of fellow travelers. My primary mentors, guides, and teachers have been men and women who told me their stories—their trials, victories, defeats, fears, and hard-earned lessons.

Perhaps our own story is the most helpful thing we can give to another person. To share those rare moments when a guidepost appeared on our roadside that sent us in new directions or connected us to paths long lost that led us home.

Today, in my heart I heard the old prophet Jeremiah speak an ancient word with new meaning: “Place for yourself guideposts so you won’t get lost.” Sharing personal stories with each other is how we create guideposts to lead us home.

Dear God, thank You for many people who have told me their story and placed guideposts on my path. Amen.

Digging Deeper: Psalm 119:103–105; Proverbs 3:1–8

Excerpted from Daily Guideposts 2021.

How Jesus Shows Up in Your Day-to-Day Life

As they were talking about these things, Jesus himself stood among them, and said to them, “Peace to you!” But they were startled and frightened and thought they saw a spirit. And he said to them, “Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? See my hands and my feet, that it is I myself. . . .” Luke 24:36–39 (ESV)

Have you ever faced something new in your life and been confused about what Jesus was doing, how much He was really involved in your circumstances?

These days I’m confused about some new things Jesus is doing with my family. My husband started a new business and we’ve relocated to a new neighborhood, and frankly, life feels foreign, as if I landed in the middle of someone else’s life and am supposed to take it from here. It’s unfamiliar territory, and at any given moment I feel more unsettled than peaceful.

But I’ve got enough history with Jesus that even when my feelings speak otherwise, I know who holds today and the future. He’s the same One Who has held me to this point. When I quiet myself, I can recognize Him. I have to look for Him, just as He invited His shell-shocked followers to do when they struggled with fears and shaken peace at the new way He was showing up in their day-to-day lives. They’d never seen Him appear suddenly like that. They were uncertain and scared about how to respond or even process what had just happened.

Jesus is Lord of the new, and I need to be ready for Him to do something new in my life.

Faith Step: Think of a time when your life changed. Name the emotions you felt. How did you sense Jesus’s presence in your circumstances? Ask Him for eyes to look for Him and a heart to see and respond to Him.

Excerpted from Mornings with Jesus 2017.

The True Meaning of Giving

“When they saw the star, they were filled with joy! They entered the house and saw the child with his mother, Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasure chests and gave him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.” Matthew 2:10-11 (NLT)

Our culture, unfortunately, misunderstands giving. We think of it, honestly, as trading. I get you something, you get me something—hopefully we spend about the same amount of money so no one feels awkward. We all know that panicked feeling when a friend shows up at our door in December with a wrapped package in her hand, and we realize we didn’t get anything for them. We now feel we “owe” them a gift. I’ve read articles in women’s magazines that suggest keeping a wrapped stash of generic gifts in your front closet for such unexpected occasions. Kind of takes the meaning out of it, doesn’t it?

Imagine if the wise men had thought this way: “I wonder what Mary and Joseph will give us. Do you think they’ll know we got this frankincense on clearance at TJ Maxx?” Of course not. And did Mary, seeing these strange gifts, think, “Okay, gold, that works for me. But spices you normally use for burial? What kind of baby gift is that? And it’s so awkward that I have nothing to give them in return!”

Jesus and His family simply received their gifts without any concern for what they would give back. The Magi likewise seemed unconcerned with reciprocity—it was enough to find and worship a king they’d seen declared in the night sky years before.

In the same way, we can never give something equal in value to God’s Christmas gift—Jesus. He is a gift we must humbly receive.

Faith step: Spend some time thinking about God’s generous gift of his Son. How can you be generous to others in the way God has been generous to you?

The Power That Never Fails

Peter said to him, “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you.” And so said all the disciples.—Matthew 26:35

The triumphal entry into Jerusalem. The cleansing of the temple. The teaching and the miracles. All displayed their leader’s power and the faith of the disciples soared.

Now, on this fifth day of the week, came the most intimate moment of all, the Passover meal, that high holy feast, just the twelve and Jesus. Over and over, at the table, He reiterated His love for them, even kneeling before them to wash their travel-weary feat.

If they had ever doubted, they could no longer do so. What if, as Jesus cautioned, testings and trials lay just ahead. They could face anything. “Lord,” Peter assured Him, “I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.” (Luke 22:33)

Maundy Thursday corresponds to those times in our own lives when our faith feels unassailable. Surrounded by so many proofs of His love, how could we ever doubt?

Thursday is the most perilous day of our pilgrimage. Because when the test comes, we so often fail. Before daybreak Peter was swearing he’d never heard of Jesus. Maundy Thursday represents our failures too—the ones which swiftly follow our moments of high commitment. The times when, having made great promises, we fall on our faces. When we let God down and let ourselves down and are left with only the certainty of our own weakness.

Yet strangely, Thursday also ushers in the most hopeful stage of our journey. Because at last we are truly on the road to Easter. We have learned better than to place our trust in ourselves. “I tell you, Peter,” Jesus replied to Peter’s confident boast, “the cock will not crow this day, until you three times deny that you know me.” (Luke 22:34)

But He said it without condemnation, without rejection. Jesus knew that the way leads through loss. Loss of self-satisfaction and self-sufficiency. He knew that on the other side of Easter, Peter would find the power that never fails.

Allelujah! Thank You that the strength is Yours.

The Miracles of Christmas

Give generously to them and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to. —Deuteronomy 15:10 (NIV)

Three days before Christmas I’m feeling frantic, quite sure I’m never going to get done all the things that need doing. That present to my goddaughter that has to be mailed; those stocking stuffers I promised to buy; the Christmas cards that still need to be sent; the “Merry Christmas” e-mails I wanted to write; the present for my wife I have to pick up; the music I brought home from choir rehearsal that I must study before Christmas Eve—when will I get to it?

Then I remember this program at church where we volunteer to give Christmas to a family that’s going through hard times. I haven’t gotten those kids presents yet. When am I going to do that? Just one more thing!

I dash out at lunch, pop my goddaughter’s present in the mail, buy some gloves from a street vendor for stocking stuffers, duck into another store for Carol, and finally make it to the toy store. Now, what would a four-year-old, six-year-old, and eight-year-old boy like? Standing in the aisle of cars and trucks, I still feel frantic, but I’m happy-frantic instead of worried-frantic.

Christmas Eve, I’m amazed at how many presents are under the tree. In choir, the piece that had seemed impossible comes together miraculously. Before the service I check my e-mail to see a message from my goddaughter’s mother: “Package just arrived.” Another miracle. How did the post office do it? How did the choir do it? How did any of us do it?

Then I remember: we did it with love. That was the fuel. That’s where we got the energy. Love and joy and happiness. A miracle good enough to last all year long.

I can do all good things with the energy of Your love, Lord.

Digging Deeper: 2 Corinthians 8:7

The Cure for After-Christmas Blues

“I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace.” John 16:33 (MSG)

Although the holidays recently passed, this morning I found myself slipping a Christmas CD into the player. I’m sort of a Christmas carol fanatic, as evidenced by my collection of twenty-five holiday CDs. I grew up on Bing, Perry, and Nat every December, and my heart feels all cozy and peaceful whenever I hear them sing.

As determined as I was last month not to get caught up in the hoopla (aka crazy busyness disguised as holiday cheer), I lived through my share of moments feeling swamped beneath the glittery decor overtaking my house when I wondered if I was missing the best parts of what Jesus wants to share with me during His birthday month.

What things might those be? Love, joy, hope. All favorites. But the one I like best when I’m feeling overwhelmed is peace.

Peace. Say it out loud. Isn’t it wonderful? It even sounds calming. The first song that rang from my CD this morning was “Silent Night,” which embodies the peace that enveloped the land surrounding the manger where the Conqueror and King of the world came to us as a tender, vulnerable baby.

I know Jesus loves peace. He says quite a bit about it. He says in John 14:27 (NIV), “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” He offered His frightened disciples peace in John 20:19–20, and He readily doles it out to us today.

We need peace in ceaseless, flowing amounts. Trouble is here to stay until Jesus demolishes it forever. His peace reigns over all that. Ask Him for peace today, and enjoy His love, hope, and joy that fill your heart along with it.

Faith Step: Look up these verses next time you need a reminder of the peace Jesus offers you: Acts 10:36; Romans 1:7; Romans 5:1; Romans 16:20; 1 Corinthians 1:3.

Start the Year with This Devotion

So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. Psalm 90:12

Last night I stopped at a restaurant for dinner. I was alone and brought my datebook to plan for the next day. After ordering, I gazed at the datebook and realized that this year was almost over. I flipped slowly through the pages of past days and weeks and reviewed the last twelve months.

I was amazed to discover all that can happen in a year: I had accepted a new professional position and moved from Texas to Georgia. Beth and I had witnessed the wedding vows of our first child Drew and welcomed our daughter-in-law Katie Alice into our family. Our son Luke had entered the insurance industry, and our daughter Jodi had graduated from Furman University. Somewhere in the middle of all this, I counseled with dozens of students, preached sermons, conducted funerals and wrote a book. These were just the major events; most of my hours were spent in the routines of living: sleeping, eating, exercise, repairing my car, mowing the lawn, preparing our income tax returns, going to movies, and all the other unremarkable events that fill everyone’s days and nights.

As my food arrived, I realized that the real question confronting me wasn’t, How did I spend last year? but How will I spend the next? How will I use the most precious of God’s gift—life and time?

I can make long lists of things to accomplish and commit myself to New Year’s resolutions. But I really need to do only two things: Love God with all that I am, and love my neighbor as much as I love myself. This is all that really matters.

Lord, keep me from seeing my days as something I own but rather as a gift that comes from You.

Showing Up on Palm Sunday

I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? —Isaiah 43:19 (NRSV)

Normally I delete those forwarded e-mails with cute or sentimental stories without even reading them. I receive so many, and when it comes to Internet profundity, I just don’t have the time.

But for some reason I read the one I received on Palm Sunday. It told the story of a little boy who had to stay home from church because he had a cold. After the service, his older sister came home, waving her palm frond in the air. “What’s that?” asked the little boy.

She answered smugly, “We wave these in the air and then put them on the ground to welcome Jesus.”

The boy started wailing and fled the  room. When his mother held him and asked what was wrong, he said through his tears, “The one Sunday I don’t go to church, Jesus showed up!”

Today’s the day Jesus shows up—in our churches, in our hearts, in our minds. We’ve been waiting for Him all our lives. Are you ready? Will you be there? Don’t let an ailment—physical, emotional or spiritual—keep you from the warmth of Jesus’ dramatic entrance into our lives.

Today is the first day of the most exciting, harrowing, tragic, grief-stricken and ultimately joyous week of our year. Don’t miss it. Don’t hit Delete. Show up, take the Lord’s hand and begin the journey.

Jesus, don’t let anything keep me from You this day, this week, this life!

READ MORE ABOUT PALM SUNDAY:

Say ‘Thank You’ to God

Many years ago my son asked, “Mom, why do I have to say ‘I’m sorry’ when I’m not?”

I replied, “Because sometimes our words nudge our hearts in the right direction.”

I was reminded of this yesterday when I found myself rolling my eyes at yet another admonition to be thankful this week. You see, I love the Thanksgiving holiday, and I have many things for which I am profoundly and genuinely grateful, but I tend to dig in my heels at being told how to feel. This is especially true when it comes to saying thanks for things I ought to be thankful for but am not.

Yet there’s value in saying “thank you” to God for things that don’t resonate in my heart. There’s the value of admitting that I’m not as thankful as I like to believe. There’s the value of taking a first step toward changing my attitude. There’s the value of resolving–again–to be truly thankful every single day of my life. And finally, there’s the value of remembering that someday I will stand with the angels and elders who proclaim, “Amen! Praise and glory and wisdom and thanks and honor and power and strength be to our God for ever and ever. Amen!” (Revelation 7:12)

There’s a lot to this thankfulness thing, and we’ve got to start somewhere. Saying thanks on whatever level we mean it is a start. And hopefully, our hearts will follow.