Happy framed faces filled the silver tray on my baby grand piano. Over four decades of friendships were immortalized there. There was Sonja eating fried chicken at a potluck. Barbie giggling at her computer. Carole and me on vacation in North Carolina.<\/p>\n
All these women were gone now. I lost Sonja to a heart attack, Barbie to cancer, Carole to Alzheimer\u2019s. Even my beloved dog, Spanky, had recently succumbed to pancreatitis.<\/p>\n
Every friendship ends, <\/em>I thought. Then my eye fell on another photo\u2014my best friend, Sue. She was 19 years older than I was. Older than most of the friends I had already lost. I had to prepare myself for the inevitable. But the truth was, I honestly didn\u2019t think I could survive it.<\/p>\n A car honked outside. A group of us girls were taking a trip to Clarksburg for the day. I\u2019d hoped the trip would take my mind off my sadness, but the thought of getting in a van with Sue filled me with dread.<\/p>\n \u201cAll aboard,\u201d my friend Debbie called when I climbed in the front seat. \u201cHave a macadamia nut cookie,\u201d said Jeanne from the seat behind us, passing a baker\u2019s box and filling the van with a buttery aroma.<\/p>\n \u201cThanks,\u201d I said, trying to sound cheerful. Sue was all the way in the back of the van. I\u2019d barely looked at her when I got in.<\/p>\n \u201cHow did you and Roberta meet?\u201d Tresa in the backseat asked Sue.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve known her since she was in pigtails,\u201d she said. \u201cRoberta is like the daughter I never had.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFriendship must be strong with roots that deep,\u201d Tresa marveled.<\/p>\n I remembered the first time I saw Sue, blonde and pretty as a movie star behind the piano at our little Baptist church. \u201cI pestered my mother to let me sit by myself right by the piano,\u201d I said before I realized I was speaking. \u201cI watched her hands move over the keys and tried to copy on my wool plaid skirt.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cA very short<\/em> skirt, if I recall!\u201d Sue cut in, and set the others to laughing. \u201cAnd I can\u2019t count all the times I had to give her a pinch for passing notes during the services!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cA pinch always followed by an affectionate pat,\u201d I reminded her.<\/p>\n The memory set my mind wandering further. Sue comforting me when my mother was injured. Sue encouraging me with my nursing studies. Sue welcoming me into her house for dinner when I\u2019d spent all the money I earned selling Avon on textbooks and had nothing to eat.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t think about those times, <\/em>I told myself. Don\u2019t think about Sue. <\/em><\/p>\n Thankfully the conversation moved on to something safer: antiques. \u201cThe first antique I ever bought was a washstand\u2014\u201d I started. Too late I remembered that day. Of course Sue had been with me.<\/p>\n \u201cI admit I pushed her to get it,\u201d she said. \u201cI told her, honey, a washstand is the most versatile piece of furniture you\u2019ll ever own. It can be an end table, a nightstand, a kitchen island, even a vanity.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s still in my house. Right next to the grandfather clock,\u201d I said. One day it would be another reminder of a friend I\u2019d loved and lost.<\/p>\n After that day I stopped accepting invitations to go out if I knew Sue would be there. I kept our phone calls to superficial small talk. No old memories. Nothing to remind me of the fear that was with me all the time now. The fear of losing Sue.<\/p>\n \u201cI miss you,\u201d Sue told me before we hung up one day in late fall.<\/p>\n \u201cI miss you too,\u201d I said. I did miss Sue, more than she could ever know. But I would miss her even more when I lost her for good. Best to guard my heart now to avoid more pain in the future.<\/p>\n December rolled around. I drove my car down to the mailbox on my country road one morning. A heavy, square white envelope was waiting for me. I was so curious I tore it open right there in my car. It was a friendship journal from Sue.<\/p>\n I opened the red and green cover. \u201cRoberta, I\u2019m so thankful to have a friend like you,\u201d the inscription said. \u201cSo I have recorded some of our good times together in this book.\u201d<\/p>\n I turned page after page in Sue\u2019s careful handwriting. \u201cWho would have thought we would ever be friends with our age difference?\u201d she wrote. \u201cI never would have dreamed you\u2019d become so dear and special to me. But I\u2019m so glad you did!\u201d<\/p>\n