Dreams can inspire us, comfort us, confuse us and even frighten us. But the dreams of the dying, science is discovering, are something else altogether. According to a 2014 study in the Journal of Palliative Medicine,<\/i> more than 80 percent of hospice patients reported intense, \u201cmore real than real\u201d visions while asleep or awake. These visions often increased in frequency as death approached.<\/p>\n
The study\u2019s author, Christopher Kerr, M.D., Ph.D., the chief medical officer at the Center for Hospice & Palliative Care in Cheektowaga, New York, believes that these end-of-life dreams and visions, or ELDVs, reveal a great deal about death and the hereafter. He talked to Mysterious Ways<\/i> about his startling findings.<\/p>\n
How does an ELDV differ from a regular dream?<\/strong><\/p>\n The vast majority of study participants were very clear that this was distinct from normal dreaming. There\u2019s sense to it, there\u2019s smell to it, there\u2019s sight to it. The things you hear most from patients are \u201cI usually don\u2019t dream\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ve never had a dream so real.\u201d Thematically, there are people and events the patient hasn\u2019t seen or experienced for many, many years. These dreams are typically therapeutic. They carry profound meaning. They allow for closure, acceptance, forgiveness. There is guidance. It gives the dying the feeling that they are not alone. You have someone who was wronged as a child. The wrongdoer reappears in the ELDV and says, \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d and that allows the patient to let go of hurt, anger or resentment.<\/p>\n What is the content of these dreams and visions?<\/strong><\/p>\n The comforting presence of someone living or dead is overwhelming\u201472 percent of study patients dreamed of the deceased. Animals are important. Travel comes up often. A lot of times, patients don\u2019t say where they are going, but they know they\u2019re going somewhere. Often people relive past traumatic events in a different light so that they are reassured. A lot of soldiers see deceased comrades. Forgiveness is a big theme. Reuniting with people. It\u2019s absolutely transcendental. We\u2019ve had mothers whose children ended up in jail and their whole identity was in question. Then their deceased friends and relatives come to them and say, \u201cYou\u2019re a good mother.\u201d A lot of healing takes place.<\/p>\n Do ELDVs shed light on what comes after death?<\/strong><\/p>\n They provide a profound level of comfort that those you\u2019ve loved are there. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s random. Little is said in these dreams. It almost can\u2019t be expressed verbally. There was a 13-year-old to whom a dog came back in an ELDV. She was left with an understanding that she would be okay; she was going to be loved and it was a good place.<\/p>\n Religious figures make up a small percentage of dream content, though. Why?<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s less about formal symbols of faith. The themes in these dreams are consistent with the core values of religion. They\u2019re not all seeing the Trinity. But the larger message of love and forgiveness and redemption is there.<\/p>\n What was your first experience with an ELDV?<\/strong><\/p>\n I was 12 years old the last time I saw my father. He was in the hospital, dying of lymphoma. I was standing over his bed and he thought we were heading up north to go fishing, which was something we did every year. He said, \u201cYou gotta get ready, Chris. Hurry.\u201d He tried to play with my shirt and push me a little bit. \u201cLet\u2019s go, we have to get on the plane.\u201d He was reliving a meaningful past event. I never mentioned it to my mother because I didn\u2019t want to upset her. It\u2019s funny how things turn out, because clearly it never left me. The last thing I ever thought I\u2019d be was a hospice doctor, surrounded by death.<\/p>\n Were you initially skeptical of your hospice patients\u2019 dreams and visions?<\/strong><\/p>\n Oh, hugely. In medicine, you\u2019re required to come up with answers to things. It\u2019s easier to blame an ELDV on brain failure or drugs. But there\u2019s this whole other experience that isn\u2019t in front of your eyes that needs to be respected and understood somehow. If I really wanted to care for people, I knew I had to care for them in totality. Now, of course, I love it. You feel like you\u2019re shepherding them a little bit. Asking them about their dreams is a lot more important than asking what day it is. Because I have patients who are spending way more time in the other world than they are here.<\/p>\n Which dream or vision, of the many you\u2019ve witnessed, stands out?<\/strong><\/p>\n I was very close to a patient, Mary. She was an artist. Her kids were camped out for days in the hospital, understanding absolutely everything she was saying. Until she started cradling a baby that nobody could see. Her kids didn\u2019t know who the child was. Then Mary\u2019s sister arrived from out of town. Mary\u2019s daughter said, \u201cShe keeps holding this baby named Danny. It\u2019s the weirdest thing.\u201d Mary\u2019s sister said, \u201cWell, that was her first child, whom she lost.\u201d<\/p>\n Could ELDVs simply be the result of delirium? Or made up by the patient?<\/strong><\/p>\n Delirium doesn\u2019t bring any peace or meaning, whereas ELDVs do. If you\u2019re dying, it makes sense that what you dream about has a broad perspective. But I don\u2019t think patients can orchestrate all the events that happen in this type of dream or vision. They can\u2019t really orchestrate their own forgiveness. If they could, they would have done it at any point in their life. There\u2019s so much that happens within an ELDV that can\u2019t be explained. Mothers who get to hold their deceased children\u2014they\u2019ve longed, sorrowed, suffered for that for 50 years. But it didn\u2019t occur as real to them as it does right before they die.<\/p>\n How can caregivers and family members better handle ELDVs?<\/strong><\/p>\n Dying is isolating, and it\u2019s only made more isolating by not talking about it. A lot of people are probably having these experiences and don\u2019t connect dots. Other people don\u2019t report them, deliberately, for fear of being ridiculed. What if you gave them permission? And said, \u201cIt\u2019s unbelievably common for people to relive past events and see people you\u2019ve loved before.\u201d To give them permission and support, and even to inquire about what they\u2019re feeling and seeing, is a good thing. It\u2019s one of those things that bring people closer to the bedside, not farther away.<\/p>\n What\u2019s surprised you most about your research?<\/strong><\/p>\n The theme of love. How, when a dying person dreams, their source of love excludes the person who didn\u2019t love them correctly and only includes the person who loved them well. There\u2019s this natural journey toward less of a mixed picture of wrong and right. More of just love and forgiveness. A patient had six siblings. One was really cruel to him. In his dreams, the bullying sibling is absent. In the end, it\u2019s almost like you drive away the bad and you brighten up the good.<\/p>\n Are you less afraid of death now?<\/strong><\/p>\n There\u2019s something that\u2019s anticipatory about it now. I\u2019ve seen thousands of people reunited with the people that they love. I can\u2019t say it hasn\u2019t affected me. I can\u2019t explain some things, but I can\u2019t dismiss them. There\u2019s much more grace in dying than one would assume. Much more love. That tells me that people who are lost aren\u2019t really lost.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Dreams can inspire us, comfort us, confuse us and even frighten us. But the dreams of the dying, science is discovering, are something else altogether. According to a 2014 study in the Journal of Palliative Medicine, more than 80 percent of hospice patients reported intense, \u201cmore real than real\u201d visions while asleep or awake. These […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":26647,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[150],"tags":[53,55,151],"ppma_author":[2478],"class_list":["post-15904","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gods-grace","tag-dream","tag-inspiration","tag-mysterious-ways"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n