{"id":17515,"date":"2026-03-10T14:26:39","date_gmt":"2026-03-10T14:26:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/should-she-give-a-present-to-a-difficult-church-member\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:03:51","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:03:51","slug":"should-she-give-a-present-to-a-difficult-church-member","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/inspiring-stories\/stories-of-faith-and-hope\/should-she-give-a-present-to-a-difficult-church-member\/","title":{"rendered":"Should She Give a Present to a Difficult Church Member?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Have you ever been a part of something that made no sense to you at the time but turned out to be an unforgettable life lesson? That Christmas I didn\u2019t understand what was happening. I didn\u2019t really put it all together for some time, but what I learned about myself\u2014and Mr. P\u2014is a lesson I\u2019ll never forget.<\/p>\n

My Christmas to-do list that year was overwhelming. Nailing down last-minute details threatened to draw all the holiday spirit<\/a> out of me. Still, the one thing that always made the mad rush bearable was my shoe boxes.<\/p>\n

It was a tradition I\u2019d started in memory of a dear cousin, the very first recipient of one of those boxes. Each year I\u2019d look for 10 people, folks who were in nursing homes or had lost a loved one or just seemed lonely or in need. I\u2019d fill a shoe box with little gifts\u2014lotion, deodorant, toothpaste, socks, lip balm, soap and tissues. I\u2019d tape 20 one-dollar bills end to end and roll them up tightly into a tube and for fun, I\u2019d throw in a windup dollar-store toy.<\/p>\n

After wrapping each of the gifts in leftover wrapping paper, I\u2019d put them in the box and top it off with a handwritten note, \u201cAlways remember, God loves you.\u201d I never signed my name. That was part of the satisfaction. The hidden joy.<\/p>\n

By Christmas Eve that year, I had only five boxes left to hand out. I knew exactly who would get them\u2014five older members of St. Margaret\u2019s. I rushed to the parish hall just before the 7:30 p.m. service. The holiday reception was winding down. I spotted four of my intended gift recipients in the hall. The fifth was nowhere to be seen. Maybe that person would show up soon.<\/p>\n

I needed someone to be Santa\u2019s helper. Right then, I spotted my friend Jim, our church\u2019s senior warden and a former college football player. At his size, he can seem intimidating at first, but he\u2019s really a gentle giant. I sidled up to him. \u201cCan you keep a secret?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cSure,\u201d he said. I explained what I wanted him to do. We went to the hallway, where I slipped him the four shoe boxes. I stashed the last in a corner. Then I made small talk with some friends and watched out of the corner of my eye while Jim made his way around the room. Each time he stopped, there\u2019d be a look of surprise. \u201cWhat? For me? Who\u2019s it from?\u201d \u201cWhy, Santa<\/a>, of course,\u201d Jim would say with a chuckle. Soon everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves.<\/p>\n

Everyone except Mr. P.<\/p>\n

I hate to say it, but Mr. P was one of the most difficult people I have ever met. Ornery <\/em>and persnickety <\/em>were some of the nicer words people used to describe him. He was sitting by himself at the refreshment table, dressed in a red flannel shirt and tan slacks with suspenders.<\/p>\n

He\u2019d done quite well in business\u2014he drove a hard bargain, folks said\u2014but he was much less adept when it came to relating to others. In small groups at church, if the leader wasn\u2019t assertive enough, Mr. P would hijack the discussion, stringing sentences together on whatever interested him without seeming to pause for breath. If someone wrestled the conversation back to the proposed topic, he would interrupt and continue trying everybody\u2019s patience.<\/p>\n

I had little tolerance for him and was only too glad when he started going to the earlier Sunday service. I went to the late one. I didn\u2019t have to see him. And I hadn\u2019t. Not until now. There he was, sipping eggnog. People were polite, pausing to say hello, but nobody wanted to sit next to him and get sucked into a conversation.<\/p>\n

The service would start soon. I went to pick up the last shoe box. It looked as if the person I had intended to give it to wouldn\u2019t be showing up. What would I do with it? A voice inside my head had a suggestion: Give the box to Mr. P.<\/em><\/p>\n

There were a thousand reasons why Mr. P did not deserve this present. He wasn\u2019t needy or in a nursing home. He didn\u2019t seem lonely. Not at all. To hear him tell it, he was never lonely because he was such good company for himself.<\/p>\n

Give\u2026the\u2026shoe box\u2026to\u2026Mr. P, <\/em>my inner voice insisted. No way! <\/em>I responded emphatically. Giving him the box would be absurd. <\/em>Finally I put the box away in the cloakroom along with my coat and went into the sanctuary for the service.<\/p>\n

Everything was beautiful, with the scent of fresh pine boughs, candles flickering, the altar transformed by a sea of poinsettias<\/a>. I took a seat in a pew near the middle, just before the choir processed in, singing carols. The feeling of Christmas seemed so near! All of the stress of the season faded in the tidings of joy. But I couldn\u2019t stop looking at Mr. P, who was sitting several pews ahead of me. Though people were sitting on either side of him, he seemed so isolated, so utterly alone. Maybe my inner voice knew something I did not.<\/p>\n

All right, <\/em>I told myself. I\u2019ll do it.<\/em><\/p>\n

We reached the portion of the service where we stood and greeted one another in peace. I slipped out of my pew and asked Jim if he would agree to play Santa\u2019s elf one more time. \u201cI\u2019d like to give that last box to Mr. P,\u201d I whispered.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo problem,\u201d Jim said. \u201cHis son is coming to pick him up. I\u2019ll give the gift to him when I walk him to the car.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you dare tell him who it came from,\u201d I said. \u201cJust say it was Santa.\u201d Back in the cloakroom, I fetched the shoe box and handed it to Jim. I enjoyed the rest of the service and didn\u2019t give Mr. P another thought.<\/p>\n

Later that winter, I heard some news about Mr. P. His health had declined, forcing him to move in with his son. Soon he was telling anyone who would listen how unhappy he was with the arrangement. Another Christmas came and went, and then Mr. P and his son seemed to disappear. That spring, I learned that Mr. P had died in Florida, where his son had moved for a job.<\/p>\n

The next Sunday, Jim and I talked about Mr. P. \u201cYou know I had to tell him that you were the one who gave him that box,\u201d he admitted, somewhat sheepishly. \u201cHe wouldn\u2019t accept any other answer. You know how he was.\u201d<\/p>\n

It took me a second to remember what Jim was talking about. \u201cOf course,\u201d I finally said. \u201cThe shoe box.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMr. P wanted to thank you in person,\u201d he continued, \u201cbut he never ran into you. He said no one had ever given him something without expecting anything in return. That\u2019s the way it was in business and life. He kept asking, \u2018Why did she do that for me? I need to know why.\u2019 I didn\u2019t know what to tell him.\u201d<\/p>\n

I struggled to come up with an answer, recalling that Christmas Eve night, the ill will I\u2019d felt toward Mr. P.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t want to give him the shoe box at first,\u201d I said. \u201cI thought he didn\u2019t deserve it. I thought there must be someone worthier.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then it dawned on me. I hadn\u2019t given the shoe box to Mr. P at all. God had, over my initial objections. I\u2019d finally complied because I had to give the box to somebody. <\/em>It was God who gave the gift to Mr. P. I just delivered it.<\/p>\n

Mr. P has been gone for several years now, and strange as it might seem, I miss him. I often think of him when I assemble my Christmas shoe boxes. I\u2019m reminded of how people can be like gaily wrapped presents; what\u2019s inside can\u2019t always be deciphered. Their hearts, their minds, their needs can be a mystery to us. But sometimes we\u2019re given a glimpse of just what God sees, what we are blinded to. Sometimes God uses us to help him love the people we think are unlovable. Like Mr. P, who needed a gift that Christmas more than anyone.<\/p>\n

Read More: Five Benefits of Being a Cheerful Giver<\/strong><\/em><\/a><\/p>\n<\/p>\n

For more inspiring stories, subscribe to <\/em>Guideposts<\/strong><\/a> magazine<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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