{"id":18671,"date":"2026-03-11T06:28:57","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T06:28:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/jean-trebek-on-finding-joy-with-her-husband-alex-during-their-greatest-challenge\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:06:17","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:06:17","slug":"jean-trebek-on-finding-joy-with-her-husband-alex-during-their-greatest-challenge","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/entertainment\/movies-and-tv\/jean-trebek-on-finding-joy-with-her-husband-alex-during-their-greatest-challenge\/","title":{"rendered":"Jean Trebek on Finding Joy with Her Husband Alex During Their Greatest Challenge"},"content":{"rendered":"

Alex Trebek passed away at 80 on November 8, 2020. This August 2020 story from Jean, his beloved wife of nearly 30 years, inspires us all to face our challenges with courage and faith and to embrace and savor the hope and joy that surround us all.<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019d gone to Israel to visit the sites of the Holy Land<\/a> in December 2018, taking our son and daughter, Matthew and Emily, then 27 and 24. We\u2019d finished dinner one night, and I looked across the table at Alex. His coloring seemed off. \u201cYou feeling okay?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m good,\u201d he said. Alex is not one to complain. But he admitted that he was having some stomach pains. I figured, okay, we were in a different country. Maybe it was something he ate. Later, back home in California, things were still not right. His doctor ran some tests, then some more. We weren\u2019t so worried that we canceled a trip to New York. It was there, in our hotel, that we got a call from his doctor. \u201cWe need to see you as soon as you get back from your trip. We have some concerns.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Jean
As seen in the August 2020
\n issue of Guideposts<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Some concerns. <\/em>What did that mean? I pulled my mind back from the fear that was welling inside me. We didn\u2019t know what we didn\u2019t know. I wouldn\u2019t let myself jump to conclusions. But I knew Alex was thinking what I was thinking.<\/p>\n

We cut our trip short. He went in for a CT scan\u2014all of this at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles, not far from our house. The doctor called back within hours. \u201cWe need to talk,\u201d he said. We went back and got the news. Pancreatic cancer<\/a> with a tumor that had spread to the soft lining of his stomach. Stage IV.<\/p>\n

It felt as if the bottom dropped out of my world. Again. Alex has been everything to me. I met him when I was 21, a challenging period in my life. His friendship\u2014we were friends for a long time before becoming a couple\u2014changed my life.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d grown up on the East Coast, in a tight-knit Catholic family on Long Island. There were just three of us kids: my older brother, Chris, my younger sister, Audrey, and me. I moved to California to go to Pepperdine University. College was exciting, but it was so hard being away from everything I\u2019d known. Chris was a year and a half older than me, and I looked after him. We were inseparable. Like Frick and Frack, my mom said.<\/p>\n

After leaving Pepperdine, I was still here on the West Coast, trying to recover from a tragedy I never thought I\u2019d get over. Saturdays I had a part-time job, doing bookkeeping for a guy in Malibu. Alex was my boss\u2019s buddy. He\u2019d come over every Saturday to play backgammon and have lunch. I knew that he was on some TV show, but he never said much about it and I didn\u2019t ask.<\/p>\n

One day I called my mom back on Long Island and told her I\u2019d met this nice guy, Alex Trebek. \u201cDon\u2019t you know who he is?\u201d she said. \u201cHe\u2019s the host of that game show Jeopardy!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

If only I could have told Chris. He would\u2019ve gotten such a kick out of knowing that his little sister knew some guy on TV. Chris and I were close in age and closer in our connection. I took a lot of responsibility for him. Born with hydrocephalus\u2014water on the brain\u2014back when they knew much less about how to treat it, he was really delicate and had some developmental delays.<\/p>\n

We went to school together, and I promised my parents that I would watch out for him. Sometimes I would even leave my classroom to go check on him. I took care of my brother, and it felt like a gift rather than a burden. Other kids might have resented that responsibility. I thought it was a blessing. Then came that terrible day my sophomore year of college.<\/p>\n

I was on the phone with Mom when she said there was someone at the door. \u201cHold on a sec, Jean,\u201d she said and put the phone down. I heard a man\u2019s voice. The next thing I heard was a terrible scream. Mom\u2019s scream. The man got on the line. He said he was a police officer. \u201cWho am I talking to?\u201d he asked. \u201cHer daughter,\u201d I said. Where was my mom? What had happened? \u201cThere\u2019s been a car accident,\u201d he said, \u201cand your brother was killed.\u201d December 7, 1984. The worst day of my life.<\/p>\n

Now, almost 35 years later, came this grim diagnosis. All the terrible pain and loss I\u2019d felt at Chris\u2019s death came back. Only my faith in God\u2019s ultimate goodness<\/a> and love had gotten me through that period of my life. Then I met Alex, as if the Lord had led me through my grief to the man I would love forever. I couldn\u2019t imagine my life without him. Could I accept this diagnosis? Could my faith sustain me now? Could I be strong for Alex and <\/em>myself?<\/p>\n

I looked over at Alex. How would he <\/em>manage? Right away he exhibited that same strength he\u2019d always had, that steadiness and calm I drew from him. His attitude wasn\u2019t \u201cWhy me?\u201d but much more \u201cOkay, what do we do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe need to get you on chemo,\u201d said the doctor, \u201cto stop the cancer from spreading.\u201d That was the first protocol. Alex would start right away. Once a week, I would take him to his appointment. I\u2019d sit with him and then drive him back home. Look after him the way I once did for Chris. No matter how resilient you are, cancer has a way of making you feel truly vulnerable<\/a>. Alex and I needed each other more than ever.<\/p>\n

I wondered then how long we had. More than a year and a half later, we\u2019re still at it, every day a gift.<\/p>\n

Some days it\u2019s a struggle for Alex to get out of bed. But he\u2019s never missed taping a show. That passion for his work\u2014it\u2019s a kind of calling. He truly looks forward to getting to the studio at 5:45 a.m.\u2014so he can do several episodes in a single day. It rejuvenates him.<\/p>\n

It rejuvenates me as well. With each passing day, I have found so much to be grateful for. Alex\u2019s work. Our kids, our friends, a sunset, a flower blooming in our garden. This didn\u2019t have to be a death sentence. It could be a life sentence. A constant reminder of how precious life is. The smallest things that I once took for granted now carry more meaning. I think that is how God keeps us in the moment. He focuses us with grace.<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve made lifestyle changes that have helped. Alex is definitely a meat-and-potatoes guy. We\u2019ve cut back on sugar and shifted to a more vegetarian diet. We discovered quinoa pasta. He likes that. And because the chemo and the pain meds affect his appetite, I give him a protein drink in the mornings loaded with good things. We usually eat one big meal a day at 5 p.m. Then we watch Jeopardy! <\/em>Of course, he knows most of the answers, but he never tells me! Sometimes I play along like any other fan. And I am a big fan.<\/p>\n

Alex never tried to hide the news from his audience. He went public right away. The outpouring of supportive messages and sincere concern was overwhelming. The viewers and contestants really care<\/a>. After all, they\u2019ve been with him even longer than I have. One recent contestant, who didn\u2019t know the answer to the question on Final Jeopardy, instead wrote on his card, \u201cWhat is We \u2665 You, Alex!\u201d Alex, who is known for keeping a cool head on the show, was very touched by that remark.<\/p>\n

Truth to tell, some days I feel really sad and angry. Then I\u2019ll say, \u201cThat\u2019s enough, Jean.\u201d I\u2019ll try to do something for someone else<\/a> to pull myself out of it. Not just for Alex but for one of our friends. Sending a reassuring e-mail, calling someone, sharing a cup of tea. Opening myself up. Accepting what\u2019s happening. Thank goodness, I had already started insidewink.com<\/strong><\/a>, a lifestyle website, and my blog on the site is a way to share our journey with others.<\/p>\n

On the website, I\u2019ve interviewed a variety of amazing people\u2026actors, spiritual leaders, others who have made a difference. I pose a question like \u201cWhat does forgiveness mean to you?\u201d or \u201cHas there been something that changed your life for the better?\u201d The beauty of it is to hear what comes out of people.<\/p>\n

Our slogan at insidewink through all of this has been \u201cshare the good.\u201d If Alex is having a rough time, if he\u2019s exhausted after a chemo session, I can look for the good. I can share what\u2019s good in our lives and in other people\u2019s. How people care for and love one another.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not alone in taking care of Alex. Our son, Matthew, owns three restaurants in Harlem, New York. He closed them during the quarantine and came home to L.A. It has been a huge blessing to have him here, along with our daughter, Emily, who lives close to us and visits all the time. My sister and my mom are another extraordinary source of support. My church community<\/a> is wonderful, as well as all our dear friends.<\/p>\n

One thing I have always found so dear about Alex\u2014and something you probably don\u2019t know about him\u2014is that he is a tinkerer. Our garage looks like a small hardware store. He can fix anything and loves to. The other afternoon I caught him fiddling over something with his tools. I almost interrupted him to ask what he was up to. But then I thought, No, I just want to watch<\/em>\u2026to just be in this moment.<\/p>\n

Maybe what I learned about caregiving for Chris is still with me. I kept an eye out for Chris, like my parents told me to. Most of the time, though, it was just the joy of being in each other\u2019s company. That\u2019s what it\u2019s like for Alex and me. We go on little walks together, if he\u2019s up to it. We eat dinner together. We watch comedies and movies on TV. Or we\u2019ll sit in the swing in our backyard and sway to and fro, feeling the warmth of the sun, gazing at the flowers or up at the sky, knowing we are loved. Not just by each other but by a God who will see us through<\/a> all things.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

For more inspiring stories, subscribe to <\/em>Guideposts<\/strong><\/a> magazine<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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