{"id":19285,"date":"2026-03-11T07:25:01","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T07:25:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/5-tips-for-reconnecting-with-a-long-lost-loved-one\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:07:34","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:07:34","slug":"5-tips-for-reconnecting-with-a-long-lost-loved-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/friends-and-family\/family\/5-tips-for-reconnecting-with-a-long-lost-loved-one\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Tips for Reconnecting with a Long-Lost Loved One"},"content":{"rendered":"

Thanks to social media, it\u2019s never been easier to locate a loved one with whom you\u2019ve lost touch. But reconnecting with a long-lost relative or friend can be tricky. I know first-hand. I hadn\u2019t seen my cousin Debbie, my childhood best friend, in nearly 20 years. Not until last Christmas when I spotted a Coca Cola bottle with the name \u201cDebbie\u201d on it and decided to get back in touch, a story I told in Mysterious Ways magazine.<\/p>\n

Debbie\u2019s an important part of my life once more. In the journey of reconnecting with her, I learned a thing or two. <\/p>\n

Here are some tips for connecting with a loved-one you\u2019ve lost touch with: <\/p>\n

1. Let go of expectations. <\/strong>Once upon a time, Debbie and I were best friends<\/a>. But, after college, we lost touch. Life simply got in the way. My parents became terminally ill. I divorced, lost my home and experienced a number of health problems. Would Debbie understand? <\/em>I wondered every time I contemplated getting back in touch. I just didn\u2019t want to burden her with all I was going through. Last Christmas, though, I felt prompted to find her. I sat down, wrote a heartfelt letter and sent it to the last address I had for her mom. In the letter, I told Debbie I\u2019d recently retired from my nursing career and was thinking about all the folks who helped me to enjoy that career. Debbie was at the top of that list. I enclosed my calling card but didn\u2019t pressure her to make contact. I didn\u2019t think I\u2019d hear from Debbie. I didn\u2019t daydream we\u2019d have some grand reunion or buy matching \u201cbest friends\u201d sweaters. I was just happy to have told her how much she\u2019d meant to me. But, alas, this happened at Christmas, the season of miracles. While I hadn\u2019t created any expectations that I would hear from her, Debbie telephoned within days. I was ecstatic.<\/p>\n

2. Be prepared for awkward moments. <\/strong>Several years before, I had telephoned Debbie\u2019s mother \u2013 my aunt Bette \u2013 and asked if I might drop by while I was in Ohio visiting from West Virginia. She said she was busy. I let that comment fester into \u201cI don\u2019t want to see you,\u201d and decided to give her some space. I gave her a lot of space, it turns out. When Debbie and I reconnected, she told me her mother had passed away. I was devastated. I couldn\u2019t find my voice. In the end, all I could utter was a heartfelt, \u201cI\u2019m so sorry.\u201d Sometimes that\u2019s all you can do \u2013 be sincere and honest, knowing that a lot may have transpired in the time you and your loved one were apart. <\/p>\n

3. Take it slowly. <\/strong>If you\u2019ve lost contact with someone for a considerable amount of time, you can\u2019t establish a rock-solid relationship with just one contact point. You have to regain trust, and that takes awhile. Be patient, and if you owe an apology, offer one. Also, make the initial conversation about them, not you. To get a dialogue started, ask how their family is doing and mention a pleasant memory. And make it clear that your motives are pure, that you\u2019re not suddenly on the scene to request a favor. For the most part, Debbie and I picked up where we left off all those years ago. But, still, we both were cautious. We respected each other\u2019s boundaries and privacy. We didn\u2019t ask probing, uncomfortable or emotionally-sensitive questions. We also established how we preferred to stay in touch \u2013 phone calls and e-mail with no pressure to respond immediately to either. We relived our childhoods and had hearing hearts. One of the best parts? We traded old photographs<\/a> neither had ever seen. Ah, the riches of relatives and the power of shared DNA.<\/p>\n

4. Don\u2019t wait forever. <\/strong>I had started that letter to Debbie a thousand times over the years. The longer it went, the harder it got to go through with it. Plain and simple, I feared rejection. It\u2019s good to prepare yourself for the possibility that your loved-one may not desire reconnection. But, at the same time, don\u2019t let that cost you a possible miracle<\/a>. Even if your long-lost loved one is alive and well, you\u2019ll have to deal with the regret of drifting apart if you don\u2019t make the first move.<\/p>\n

5. Pray. <\/strong>Before I reached out to Debbie, I prayed about the situation. I asked God to make a reconnection happen in his perfect timing, not my own. I often recall author Lisa Wingate\u2019s words about the subject in her novel, Tending Roses<\/em>: \u201cSix years of drifting apart puts you at opposite ends of the ocean, and it takes something cataclysmic to push you into the same port.\u201d Debbie and I rediscovered each other after we had both lost our mothers. We were able to help one another through the many emotions of grief, and beyond. It was a reconnection made in heaven. Our renewed relationship remains to this day, pure magic. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thanks to social media, it\u2019s never been easier to locate a loved one with whom you\u2019ve lost touch. But reconnecting with a long-lost relative or friend can be tricky. I know first-hand. I hadn\u2019t seen my cousin Debbie, my childhood best friend, in nearly 20 years. Not until last Christmas when I spotted a Coca […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":28314,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[222],"tags":[25,151],"ppma_author":[646],"class_list":["post-19285","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family","tag-family","tag-mysterious-ways"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n5 Tips for Reconnecting with a Long-Lost Loved One - Guideposts Articles<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"5 Tips for Reconnecting with a Long-Lost Loved One\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Thanks to social media, it\u2019s never been easier to locate a loved one with whom you\u2019ve lost touch. 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