The mall was a madhouse. I hurried my 6-year-old daughter, Micah, to the shoe store. School would start tomorrow and it seemed like every student was here today. Which was exactly why I\u2019d planned for us to be somewhere else doing something relaxing. But that morning I\u2019d pinched the toe of Micah\u2019s sneaker and discovered my soon-to-be first grader\u2019s feet had grown a whole size since summer began. We should have been going for a bike ride and then having a picnic so Micah could talk about any apprehension she had about going to school all day after half-day kindergarten. So much for my plans! Here we were at the shoe store waiting for a sales clerk to bring us size twos.<\/p>\n
There was so much I needed to do. Make dinner. Do the laundry. Lay out Micah\u2019s clothes and supplies for tomorrow. I had to admit, with her in school all day now I might finally get some things done. I could grocery shop without a long discussion about which snacks she could have. I could clean house without stepping over Barbies. I\u2019d be organized for once and not be doing things at the last minute, like today.<\/p>\n
The clerk returned and shook her head. The only shoe we liked wasn\u2019t available in size two. Onto the next store. \u201cKeep up, honey,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
\u201cMom, look!\u201d Micah pointed to a poster of cartoon guinea pigs in front of the movie theater. \u201cG-Force!<\/em> I want to see that. Please, Mom?\u201d she begged. The movies?<\/em> We had errands to run. Besides, that movie got terrible reviews.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, honey. We can\u2019t have you going to school barefoot tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n Micah hung her head. \u201cYou promised we\u2019d have fun today.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know, but the day hasn\u2019t gone the way I planned.\u201d<\/p>\n We finally found sneakers and dress shoes at the third shop we tried. I looked at my watch. 4:30<\/em>. It was 30 minutes back to our house and I needed to cook dinner and get Micah to bed by eight.<\/p>\n That night, I laid out Micah\u2019s new plaid jumper, red headband, knee socks and black Mary Janes. \u201cYou\u2019ll be a big first grader tomorrow,\u201d I said. \u201cWe\u2019ll take a picture, just like when you started kindergarten, and send it to Grammy.\u201d<\/p>\n Micah climbed into bed. \u201cMom, why aren\u2019t you fun like Grammy?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you mean, honey?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGrammy plays with me and you just tell me what to do,\u201d Micah said.<\/p>\n I tucked the covers around her. \u201cSay your prayers, silly girl,\u201d I said, trying to ignore the twinge in my heart. \u201cDaddy will come in to kiss you goodnight.\u201d<\/p>\n I finished the dishes, threw in the last load of laundry and trudged into our family room. Michael paused the football game and I told him what Micah had said. \u201cDo you think I\u2019m fun?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n \u201cA mother\u2019s job isn\u2019t really to be fun,\u201d he said. That was probably true. My mom, Micah\u2019s Grammy, certainly wasn\u2019t always fun when I was growing up. But all I\u2019d wanted was for us to have a fun day before Micah started first grade, and it slipped away. Lord, help me be the mother I want to be<\/em>, I prayed.<\/p>\n The next morning I tiptoed into Micah\u2019s room. \u201cTime to wake up, first grader!\u201d<\/p>\n She dressed and ate breakfast. I took her outside to snap a few photos, then we hopped in the car and drove to school. Micah let go of my hand at the classroom door. She found her desk, sat down and arranged her school supplies. I lingered in the doorway, hoping to give her a goodbye wave. She never looked up.<\/p>\n Back home, I went over my to-do list. Finally, time to get everything done! But the burst of energy I\u2019d expected wasn\u2019t there. Instead, I felt a little sad. I uploaded Micah\u2019s first-day-of-school photo onto my computer and logged into my e-mail. \u201cMicah started first grade today,\u201d I wrote. I attached the picture and sent it to my mom and a few friends.<\/p>\n The phone rang minutes later. Mom. \u201cMicah looks so grown up!\u201d she said.<\/p>\n \u201cShe wishes I was fun like you,\u201d I said. Mom laughed.<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t have the heart to tell her you weren\u2019t always fun,\u201d I continued.<\/p>\n \u201cI was so busy working and raising you kids,\u201d she said. \u201cIf I had it to do again, I\u2019d make more time for fun.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMom, you did a great job. I turned out okay, didn\u2019t I?\u201d We hung up.<\/p>\n My e-mail dinged. Responses to Micah\u2019s picture. \u201cBe careful. Once they start first grade it flies by.\u201d \u201cCherish the day. My grandkids are graduating and I wonder where the time goes.\u201d \u201cToday first grade, tomorrow college!\u201d<\/p>\n