ENJOYING THIS STORY? SUBSCRIBE TO GUIDEPOSTS MAGAZINE!<\/strong><\/em><\/a><\/p>\nNels was eight, blond, blue-eyed, the eldest of our three sons. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, his brothers appeared\u2014surrounding me like a band of Indians.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, Daddy,\u201d said seven-year-old Jimmy, \u201clet\u2019s go out and play!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCome on, Daddy,\u201d piped six-yearold Vincent, \u201cPlease!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDaddy\u2019s busy,\u201d I heard my wife, Pat, say, shepherding the kids toward the kitchen.<\/p>\n
I returned to the papers, but couldn\u2019t concentrate. My work had always meant everything to me. Everything. Besides, my idea of being a good husband and father was based upon being a good provider. I felt like a failure.<\/p>\n
I stood up and walked over to the living-room window. Outside, the setting sun cast long shadows over the neat green lawns and white frame houses.<\/p>\n
With sadness, I recalled how happy Pat and I had been when we moved here as a young couple six years ago. When I met Pat, she had her own successful career as a professional dancer; she\u2019d given it all up to marry me and raise our family.<\/p>\n
Back then I was still riding high on the wave of success following my long-running role as Nels on the popular I Remember Mama<\/em> TV series, sure I\u2019d go on to be a star. After all, I\u2019d been acting since childhood.<\/p>\nI still recalled vividly my first audition. I was seven years old. My grandmother accompanied me to the neighborhood theater in Queens, where MGM Studios was sponsoring a child personality contest. Grandma Van Patten had lived with us for as long as I could remember. I guess at that time she was just about my best friend.<\/p>\n
Now she remained by my side until I was called before the judges to recite my poem. \u201cYou can do it,\u201d she whispered, squeezing my shoulder reassuringly.<\/p>\n
When I won the contest, which resulted in a four-month contract, Grandma was the one who moved with me to Hollywood. I was 15 when she died. By then, I\u2019d acted in numerous Broadway shows and was working and studying under Alfred Lunt and Lynn Fontanne.<\/p>\n
I was always glad that Grandma had lived to see my success. But, I thought ruefully, good thing she isn\u2019t around to see me now…<\/p>\n
In recent years, I\u2019d found myself having to accept smaller and smaller parts. There was no good explanation why, and I didn\u2019t know what to do about it. Not even in church could I find comfort or guidance. My own prayers seemed flat, vague. As I grew increasingly irritable and impatient, my behavior was taking its toll on my family\u2014especially my sons.<\/p>\n
I felt the gentle touch of my wife\u2019s hand on my shoulder. \u201cDick,\u201d she said softly, \u201cdon\u2019t worry.\u201d<\/p>\n
I gave her the same annoyed look I had earlier given my son. But Pat\u2019s concerned expression remained unchanged. \u201cHoney,\u201d she said, \u201cI think maybe we should pray about this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPray? Don\u2019t you think I do?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI mean,\u201d she said quietly, \u201clet\u2019s pray together. Let\u2019s pray specifically. You know you\u2019ve always said you\u2019ve never prayed without receiving an answer.\u201d<\/p>\n
Pat was right. I did have faith in a personal God, and strong belief in the power of prayer. But this problem of a declining career and no money coming in was so big\u2014I didn\u2019t know how to pray about it.<\/p>\n
Pat seemed to sense my thoughts.<\/p>\n
\u201cGod knows what\u2019s best for us,\u201d she said. \u201cLet\u2019s simply ask Him to get us through this summer according to His will.\u201d She paused. \u201cOkay?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d I said dully. \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n
Holding hands, we stood by the window and prayed.<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t feel any better.<\/p>\n
A few more weeks passed. Nothing changed. Pat asked if I would mind if she tried auditioning for some local dance productions. I wasn\u2019t crazy about the idea. But, reluctantly, I agreed. We needed the money.<\/p>\n
One muggy morning, I was seated at the dining-room table, scanning the trade papers, when Pat rushed in, breathless and smiling. She had just auditioned for a summer production of Hit the Deck<\/em>, at Jones Beach.<\/p>\n\u201cGuess what!\u201d she gasped. \u201cI got the job! They want me in the chorus! And the pay\u2019s not bad!\u201d<\/p>\n
Instead of being pleased, I felt my stomach tighten into a knot.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s great,\u201d I said tersely. \u201cThat\u2019s real nice, Pat.\u201d<\/p>\n
She came over and hugged me. \u201cRehearsals begin tomorrow.\u201d she said. \u201cI\u2019ll be gone a lot during the days. You\u2019ll be all right taking care of the kids, won\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah,\u201d I said. \u201cFine.\u201d<\/p>\n
By this time, the three boys had found places around the table and were listening with rapt attention.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t you see?\u201d Pat continued. \u201cThis is the answer to our prayer.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah,\u201d I said. \u201cRight.\u201d It was an answer, all right, but it sure wasn\u2019t the one I\u2019d been hoping for.<\/p>\n
When Pat was working, I didn\u2019t really mind taking care of the kids. That is, I didn\u2019t mind the duties involved: fixing meals, doing dishes, enforcing naps and bedroom clean-ups.<\/p>\n
What bothered me was the way God had chosen to answer our prayers. True, thanks to Pat\u2019s income, we were \u201cgetting through the summer.\u201d But what long-term good could ever come from this situation? It sure wasn\u2019t helping my career.<\/p>\n
One hot afternoon as I was putting away the last of the lunch dishes, Jimmy entered the kitchen.<\/p>\n
\u201cDaddy? …\u201d<\/p>\n
I stiffened, feeling a request coming on. I was in no mood for requests.<\/p>\n
\u201cDaddy, can we go to Greenwood?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGreenwood\u201d was Brooklyn\u2019s Greenwood Cemetery, where my grandmother was buried. The kids loved visiting Greenwood; with six square miles of wooded grounds, four lakes, lots of wildlife and great shady trees to climb, it was more like a park.<\/p>\n
Only 20 minutes away, it was, for our family, a place of good times and happy memories. Why not? I thought. We haven\u2019t been to Greenwood in ages.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not a bad idea,\u201d I said. \u201cGet your brothers, and let\u2019s go.\u201d<\/p>\n
Once at Greenwood, we walked the familiar hilly path to Great-Grandma Van Patten\u2019s grave. We talked a little about what a wise, loving lady Great-Grandma had been, about how happy she must be up in Heaven and watching us down here on earth. As we talked, I felt myself relaxing, forgetting the tensions of unemployment.<\/p>\n
Then we sat cross-legged on the soft green grass and decided what game we\u2019d play. \u201cHow about looking for the oldest marker?\u201d I suggested.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah!\u201d The boys agreed. The game was a family favorite.<\/p>\n
\u201cRemember the rules?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n
Big brother Nels was quick to remind us. \u201cTen minutes to search; report back here when we hear Daddy whistle; then we see who wins.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s right,\u201d I said, and we set boundaries for our area of play.<\/p>\n
\u201cReady?\u201d I asked. Three heads nodded. \u201cOn your mark\u2014Get set\u2014Go!\u201d<\/p>\n
A mad scramble, and we were off-running and stopping, peering and bobbing, as we hunted for epitaphs of long ago. Caught up in the game, I felt like a kid myself. The sun was warm and friendly on my back. The breeze rustled the leaves of the trees in soothing whispers.<\/p>\n
Before I knew it, I was daydreaming about my own childhood\u2014and about Grandma Van Patten. She was always there…her steady blue eyes shining, her voice encouraging, her gentle touch conveying her trust and love for a little boy.<\/p>\n
I found a tall, leafy tree and leaned against its massive trunk. In the distance, I heard the whoops and hollers of my kids having a good time.<\/p>\n
\u201c1890! Here\u2019s one from 1890!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAw, that\u2019s nothing. I found one from 1865!\u201d<\/p>\n
I shut my eyes, allowing my thoughts to drift…<\/p>\n
Why, I wondered, had Grandma spent so many hours with me? Surely she must have had better things to do. But she\u2019d always been so selfless, so generous with her time\u2014as though being with me was genuinely important to her. Our times together had meant so much to me.<\/p>\n
I\u2019d been so self-absorbed lately\u2014so wrapped up in worry about my career. Perhaps\u2014I felt a twinge of guilt at the idea\u2014perhaps, there was more to being a good father than simply being a good provider. Could it be that God was trying to tell me that my sons might need and benefit from the same kind of love and attention that Grandma had given me?<\/p>\n
\u201cDaddy!\u201d<\/p>\n
I opened my eyes to see my three sons standing over me with puzzled expressions.<\/p>\n
\u201cDaddy, we\u2019ve been waiting for your whistle!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDaddy, it\u2019s been over ten minutes!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDaddy,\u201d said Vincent, accusingly. \u201cyou\u2019ve been sleeping!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCome on, you guys,\u201d I said gruffly, \u201cI was just resting. Now, who found the oldest marker?\u201d<\/p>\n
But in the minutes that had passed, something had happened to me. Surrounded by my happily chattering boys, I felt my heart melting. How precious my sons were…how short was our time together…how much I loved them!<\/p>\n
For the first time, I fully appreciated that, next to God, my family had to be the most important thing in my life\u2014even more important than my career. And with that realization, a great imbalance was corrected in my heart. The weight of worry about getting work had lifted; God, I knew, would take care of that in His own time.<\/p>\n
I was also beginning to understand a little better how God works. By keeping me home for the summer, He had shown me how to appreciate and love my family in a new way that otherwise would have been impossible.<\/p>\n
This was a lesson worth more than all the jobs in the world. It was the kind of lesson\u2014I smiled to myself\u2014that Grandma Van Patten would be pleased to know I\u2019d learned.<\/p>\n
After that sunny afternoon in Greenwood, I considered each day an opportunity to grow closer to my family. My sons and I did everything together. Before summer\u2019s end, neighborhood kids were coming to the door and asking if Mr. Van Patten could come out and play.<\/p>\n
The rock-solid foundation of love and trust that was established proved to be invaluable later. In 1970, we moved to Hollywood, where the stresses and strains of show-biz careers have been known to destroy the strongest ties.<\/p>\n
Today, we remain as close as ever. Nels still lives at home with Pat and me. Jimmy and Vincent live across the street. Nearly every morning we still manage to get together for breakfast. On Sundays when everyone\u2019s in town, we enjoy going to church together.<\/p>\n
Thousands of years ago it was written, \u201cAnd he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers…\u201d (Malachi 4:6). I\u2019m convinced that even in this rapidly changing world, the family can work\u2014that it remains God\u2019s will for His children. It\u2019s up to us to live in accordance with that plan.<\/p>\n
Did you enjoy this story? Subscribe to <\/em>Guideposts<\/strong><\/a> magazine<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I felt a small tug at my shirtsleeve. \u201cDadd-eee!\u201d The exasperated tone in my son\u2019s voice told me it was probably his third or fourth attempt to get attention. Seated at the dining-room table of our home in Bellrose Village, Long Island, I\u2019d been absorbed in theater trade papers, desperately searching for an acting job. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":28542,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[184],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[1414],"class_list":["post-19743","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-children"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
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