{"id":19885,"date":"2026-03-11T08:27:00","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T08:27:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/how-she-let-go-of-worrying-about-her-daughter\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:08:47","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:08:47","slug":"how-she-let-go-of-worrying-about-her-daughter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/friends-and-family\/parenting\/teenagers\/how-she-let-go-of-worrying-about-her-daughter\/","title":{"rendered":"How She Let Go of Worrying About Her Daughter"},"content":{"rendered":"

I woke early. It was still dark. The house was quiet. Where was Kahrin? Was she okay? I reached for my phone, then remembered. It was useless. Kahrin didn\u2019t have her phone.<\/p>\n

My 19-year-old daughter was on a 10-day service trip to Guatemala organized by her university. Kahrin and I were close. We talked and texted every day. I had two sons; Kahrin was my only daughter. I was all too aware of the vulnerabilities of being a woman. It was my duty to keep her safe.<\/p>\n

When Kahrin was in fourth grade, she announced she wanted to play football<\/a>. Tackle <\/em>football. Kahrin was tiny. I was anxious about letting her play.<\/p>\n

Still, my husband and I decided to let her give it a shot. Kahrin was so small and fast, she became the team\u2019s quarterback. I gritted my teeth through each game. Each time she got tackled, my heart stopped. Then came a moment when she was tackled and stayed on the ground. Enough was enough. Her football days were over.<\/p>\n

In high school, I refused to let her go to the mall by herself.<\/p>\n

\u201cMom, all my friends have been going by themselves for ages,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s beside the point,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s ridiculous that you think I need a buddy to buy a pair of jeans!\u201d<\/p>\n

After weeks of pleading, I relented.<\/p>\n

When she was a senior in high school, she wanted to drive to Ohio University to visit her brother.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou want to drive more than three hours by yourself?\u201d I said. \u201cOn a highway? What if you break down? What if your phone dies and you can\u2019t call 911?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMom!\u201d she said, sounding exasperated. \u201cDidn\u2019t you ever go on a long road trip at my age by yourself?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. But that was different.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow?\u201d Kahrin asked. \u201cBecause you didn\u2019t have a cell phone or any way to communicate with anyone?\u201d<\/p>\n

I kept my phone with me the entire time she was on the road, checking constantly to make sure she hadn\u2019t called.<\/p>\n

I should have been thrilled when Kahrin chose to go to college <\/a>only 40 minutes away. My sons were hours away. But there was still plenty to worry about.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t walk alone at night, ever,\u201d I reminded her on the way to her dorm.<\/p>\n

\u201cMom, please,\u201d Kahrin said.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd whatever you do,\u201d I said, \u201cdon\u2019t ever get into an Uber by yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay,\u201d Kahrin said. \u201cNo need to freak out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Halfway through her freshman year, she called me early one Saturday.<\/p>\n

\u201cMom, don\u2019t freak out,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat happened? Are you okay? Are you hurt? Do I need to drive down?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m okay,\u201d she said. \u201cLast night I went to a party. My friends wanted to go somewhere else after, but I was ready to go home. I didn\u2019t want to walk home in the dark, so I took an Uber.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBy yourself?\u201d I shrieked.<\/p>\n

\u201cAt least I didn\u2019t walk home alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou got in a strange car at 2 a.m.!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I\u2019m perfectly safe,\u201d she said. \u201cI wanted to tell you because I knew you\u2019d worry.\u201d<\/p>\n

I was glad she\u2019d told me. But I was still horrified that she\u2019d gotten into a car alone with a stranger.<\/p>\n

In March of her sophomore year, Kahrin called. I picked up immediately, excited to chat about her week.<\/p>\n

\u201cMom, guess what? I\u2019m going to Guatemala for 10 days on a mission trip<\/a>!\u201d<\/p>\n

She sounded excited. But didn\u2019t Guatemala have serious gang problems? What if Kahrin got separated from the group? What if the water made her sick?<\/p>\n

\u201cWow!\u201d I finally said. \u201cHow exciting! I had no idea you were interested in doing a trip like this. Is it a sure thing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYup!\u201d She was exhilarated. \u201cI had an interview last week and just heard that I\u2019m in.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m so proud of you,\u201d I said. It\u2019s fine, <\/em>I told myself, she\u2019ll have her cell phone. I\u2019ll be able to check in with her.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s something you should know about the trip,\u201d Kahrin told me a week later. \u201cWhen I get to Guatemala, the leaders are taking our phones so we aren\u2019t distracted. I think it will be a good thing. We can unplug and really focus on the purpose of the trip.\u201d<\/p>\n

I mumbled something about how I understood. As if! <\/em>I\u2019d been clinging to that phone for peace about this trip.<\/p>\n

On Day One, my first instinct upon waking up had been to check on her. But I couldn\u2019t call. Our last conversation had been the morning before.<\/p>\n

\u201cHi, Mom! We landed in Miami. We\u2019re getting ready to board the plane to Guatemala. Just wanted to say I love you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBe safe,\u201d I\u2019d said. \u201cStay with the group. I\u2019m praying for you. I love you!\u201d<\/p>\n

What if that was the last time we ever spoke? What if she never made it home? I sat up and turned on the light. No way would I be able to go back to sleep. I couldn\u2019t talk to Kahrin about my worries. But I could talk to God.<\/p>\n

I got out of bed and went to the kitchen. Made a cup of chai tea and settled into my recliner, facing the picture windows. I spent many mornings praying there, waiting for the sun to come up. That morning, I opened my prayer journal and started writing.<\/p>\n

God, I\u2019ve spent her entire life begging you to keep her safe.<\/em><\/p>\n

I catalogued all the dangers she\u2019d faced in her short life. I\u2019d worried about her playing football, but secretly I\u2019d been proud of her. I\u2019d wanted to play when I was a little girl. And she\u2019d been the quarterback! One of the reasons I\u2019d been so nervous for her to drive long distances was because I remembered how I used to speed from college to my parents\u2019 house. Kahrin was a careful driver. All of my fears had been unfounded. The moments that had filled me with fear turned out to be opportunities for Kahrin to grow.<\/p>\n

Lord, please let this Guatemala trip be another growth opportunity. And help me trust you to keep her safe.<\/em><\/p>\n

I woke early every day and wrote in my prayer journal. I asked for peace, for God to let Kahrin feel my love. I took in the beauty of the sunrise, sipped my chai and filled pages with prayers.<\/p>\n

Ten days of morning prayers and numerous journal pages later, the phone call I had been waiting for finally came.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe just landed in Miami,\u201d Kahrin said. \u201cThe flight to Ohio leaves soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

A few hours later, we picked her up at the airport. She hugged me, but her smile didn\u2019t reach her eyes. When we got to the house, she was quiet. In the past, I would have worried and bombarded her with questions. This time, I let her have her space.<\/p>\n

She came downstairs later in the evening. She was holding a small notebook.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy journal,\u201d she said. \u201cI kept one on the trip.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou won\u2019t believe this,\u201d I said. \u201cBut I kept one too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you want me to read some of it to you?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course!\u201d My heart swelled. \u201cLet me grab my journal. I\u2019d love to share some of it with you too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Kahrin curled up on the couch, and I took my normal spot on the recliner. She read about her experience in Guatemala. She was one of the few students who spoke Spanish well enough to translate for the others. She made friends with her host family and was using an app to keep in touch with one of the girls she had bonded with there.<\/p>\n

I feel like I\u2019m at home here, <\/em>she read. I\u2019ve never experienced faith like this before. <\/em>There were even a few notes about me. God, please hold my mom extra close today. I know how she worries.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI prayed that God would be extra close to you too,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to change my major to international business,\u201d Kahrin said. \u201cI don\u2019t want to be an accountant. I might join the Peace Corps after graduation.\u201d<\/p>\n

Old habits die hard. I heard Peace Corps <\/em>and thought of danger. But I knew my worries would only hold Kahrin back. \u201cThat sounds like a great idea,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

I still have a long journey ahead, but little by little, I\u2019m learning to let go and let my daughter grow.<\/p>\n

For more inspiring stories, subscribe to <\/em>Guideposts<\/strong><\/a> magazine<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I woke early. It was still dark. The house was quiet. Where was Kahrin? Was she okay? I reached for my phone, then remembered. It was useless. Kahrin didn\u2019t have her phone. My 19-year-old daughter was on a 10-day service trip to Guatemala organized by her university. Kahrin and I were close. 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