{"id":19887,"date":"2026-03-11T08:27:12","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T08:27:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/how-she-prayed-for-her-sons-to-get-along\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:08:47","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:08:47","slug":"how-she-prayed-for-her-sons-to-get-along","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/friends-and-family\/family\/family-problems\/how-she-prayed-for-her-sons-to-get-along\/","title":{"rendered":"How She Prayed for Her Sons to Get Along"},"content":{"rendered":"

Oh, no.<\/em> Our county had issued a stay-at-home order. This was necessary to help prevent the spread of Covid-19, but I dreaded it. For myself, for my boys. How would they handle being cooped up together for weeks on end? How would I keep the peace while still doing my job as a seventh-grade English teacher<\/a>?<\/p>\n

My 15-year-old twins<\/a>, Breckan and Brennan, hated each other. I know hate <\/em>seems like a strong word, a ter\u00adrible word, but if they were in the same room for more than 10 minutes, there was going to be a fight. Contemptuous remarks, yelling, even physical blows.<\/p>\n

I was 35 when the doctor announced that I was pregnant with not one but two babies. What a blessing<\/a>! <\/em>I\u2019d wanted two children, and I knew getting pregnant would be more dif\u00adficult as I got older. How fortunate that I\u2019d be having both my children at once!<\/p>\n

My sister had twin toddlers, a boy and a girl. I knew from watching her that raising twins was tough. Double diapers and feed\u00adings. Two times the tantrums. Still, I be\u00adlieved what everyone said: \u201cYour boys will have a built-in best friend for life<\/a>!\u201d<\/p>\n

Then Brennan and Breckan were born. As babies and then toddlers, they played in the same room but never with each other. What\u2019s going on? <\/em>I won\u00addered. Maybe they\u2019d become friends later. They started school, and Breckan quickly established himself as asser\u00adtive and action-oriented, while Brennan was quieter and more contemplative.<\/p>\n

At about age five, they began to fight. Fighting was foreign to me. Even as children, my sister and I would resolve our conflicts with words. We were dif\u00adferent but good friends. My parents, married for 52 years, had never yelled at us or each other. I\u2019d had such a har\u00admonious upbringing. How could I have produced such adversarial offspring?<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re boys,\u201d my husband would say. He had grown up around brothers. \u201cBoys fight.\u201d<\/p>\n

My husband was definitely a yeller, raising his voice over things big and small. The dishes! The finances! When my husband left our marriage\u2014the boys were six and a half\u2014I thought we\u2019d finally know peace.<\/p>\n

Not for long. Breckan channeled his energy into sports, and everything be\u00adcame a competition. Brennan was drawn to music and arts. When I heard voices raised, I\u2019d jump in and try to mediate. \u201cPlease, be kind to each other,\u201d I\u2019d say. \u201cJust ignore your brother if you have to. He\u2019s trying to push your buttons.\u201d<\/p>\n

By the time the boys turned eight, they\u2019d had enough. Bickering escalated into blows.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hate him!\u201d screamed Breckan.<\/p>\n

Brennan yelled right back. \u201cHe\u2019s the worst person I ever met! How is he my brother?\u201d<\/p>\n

I was heartbroken. How could I help them see the value, the joy, in being brothers? I held family meetings. Con\u00adfiscated electronics. Tried counseling. I asked God<\/a> to bring them together. They didn\u2019t have to like each other. I couldn\u2019t control that. But somewhere deep in\u00adside, didn\u2019t they love each other? As brothers? Wasn\u2019t that what God wanted?<\/p>\n

For years, our house functioned best with the boys in separate spaces\u2014Breckan in his bedroom, Brennan up in the game room with his drum kit. At school, they ran with different groups: Breckan with the jocks, and Brennan with his musical theater and commu\u00adnity service friends.<\/p>\n

I lowered my expectations. The boys\u2019 relationship wasn\u2019t ideal, but they un\u00adderstood what family meant. They were so sweet to me, and both adored their older cousins. They had each found their friends in the world and were thriving in their own separate corners.<\/p>\n

I tried to tell myself that was enough. But sometimes I\u2019d imagine holidays with two adult sons. Brennan and Breckan with their families around a table, barely speaking to one another\u2014or worse, at each other\u2019s throats. And my heart would break all over again.<\/p>\n

That was why the stay-at-home order filled me with such dread. I set up my classroom in the dining room, preparing to finish out the school year from home. And steeling myself for the battles that would inevitably erupt between my boys.<\/p>\n

For eight hours a day, I planned and posted assignments, and e-mailed or Skyped with students. Brennan and Breckan finished their schoolwork within three hours, then filled the rest of their time<\/a> with electronics, skate\u00adboarding, basketball and naps. Bren\u00adnan played drums and had lessons with his teacher over Zoom. Breckan even got out his guitar.<\/p>\n

On the ninth day, I heard voices and laughter coming from Brennan\u2019s room. That sounds like both my boys, <\/em>I thought. Impossible. Maybe it was the TV. I put dinner on hold and went down the hall to investigate.<\/p>\n

I knocked on the bedroom door. \u201cBrennan, it\u2019s me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome in, Mom.\u201d<\/p>\n

I opened the door, and my breath caught in my throat. Both my sons were sitting on the edge of Brennan\u2019s bed, video game controllers in hand, grins on their faces.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s going on here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust having fun,\u201d Breckan said.<\/p>\n

\u201cTogether?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s great!\u201d I said, trying to mask my surprise. I shut the door.<\/p>\n

Please, God, <\/em>I prayed<\/a>. Let this be the beginning of a new relationship for my boys. Let them learn to love each other!<\/em><\/p>\n

The next afternoon, after their schoolwork was done, I found the two of them in the front yard with baseball gloves, tossing a ball back and forth. Brennan let Breckan join an online video game with his group of friends.<\/p>\n

Was I imagining things? Were the boys\u2026getting along<\/a>? A week later, I looked out the window and saw the twins showing each other how to do tricks on the trampoline. They start\u00aded knocking on each other\u2019s doors to share funny YouTube videos: \u201cDude, you gotta see this!\u201d<\/p>\n

I was shocked\u2014and delighted. This was what I\u2019d always hoped for<\/a>! I felt a lit\u00adtle guilty feeling so joyful when so much of the rest of the world was suffering. In our house, there was more peace than we\u2019d ever known. I wasn\u2019t sure why. Had sheer boredom driven my boys to\u00adgether? Had fear of what was going on outside our home made the twins appre\u00adciate what they had inside it?<\/p>\n

One evening, I stopped by Breckan\u2019s room for our nightly chat before I went to bed. \u201cHey, what do you think has been happening with you and your brother lately?\u201d I asked him. \u201cWhy are you getting along?\u201d<\/p>\n

Breckan shrugged. \u201cI don\u2019t know, Mom. We\u2019re maturing, I guess. I don\u2019t want to talk about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Leave it to me, their mushy English teacher mom, to try to analyze what had happened and put it into words. But the how or the why doesn\u2019t matter, really<\/a>. What does matter is that there\u2019s love between my sons at last. And the best word for that is miracle<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/p>\n

For more inspiring stories, subscribe to <\/em>Guideposts<\/strong><\/a> magazine<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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