{"id":19909,"date":"2026-03-11T08:29:23","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T08:29:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/how-to-rekindle-a-friendship\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:08:50","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:08:50","slug":"how-to-rekindle-a-friendship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/friends-and-family\/friends\/how-to-rekindle-a-friendship\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Rekindle a Friendship"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"media-youtube-player\"><iframe class=\"media-youtube-player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/yksUJgYlV1E?autoplay=1&#038;mute=1\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n<p>There is a saying that people come into your life for a reason, a season\u2014or a lifetime. But what if you\u2019re longing for a friend from your past to be a part of your present life? Friendships dissipate for a number of reasons.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes there\u2019s a big falling out and the relationship ends with a bang. More often, people drift apart due to time and circumstances. \u201cFriendships ebb and flow,\u201d says <a href=\"https:\/\/smileyposwolsky.com\/friendship\">Adam Smiley Poswolsky,<\/a> author of <em>Friendship in the Age of Loneliness.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cMaybe you are roommates, but then one of you moves across the country and you don\u2019t talk as often.\u201d Or maybe the pandemic has shrunk your social circle.<\/p>\n<p>Whether your friendship was\u00a0put on pause by Covid or you want to reconnect with an old buddy you haven\u2019t spoken to in decades, you should get crystal-clear on <em>why <\/em>you want to re-establish the bond before reaching out.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIs it coming from a positive place?\u201d <a href=\"https:\/\/drmarisagfranco.com\/\">psychologist and friendship expert Marisa Franco<\/a> asks. \u201cOr are you feeling lonely and caught up in nostalgia for a happier time? Really evaluate if this friend will add something to your current life.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Once you\u2019ve decided to move forward, <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/better-living\/positive-thinking\/3-ways-to-stay-positive\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">stay positive<\/a>. \u201cIt helps to think of it as a dormant relationship instead of one that\u2019s over,\u201d Franco says. \u201cAssume that the other person wants to hear from you. You can open up the connection again.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s natural to be nervous about the possibility of <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/life-advice\/how-to-recover-from-rejection\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">rejection<\/a>. Forge ahead anyway. As Franco says, \u201cWe all have a tendency to underestimate how enjoyable our social interactions will be\u201d\u2014and how much other people like us.<\/p>\n<p>Are you hesitant to reach out because you\u2019re mired in doubt and guilt for letting the relationship lapse? \u201cPeople think it\u2019s awkward because they haven\u2019t spoken in so long,\u201d Poswolsky says. \u201cJust let it go. Be the first to <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/friends-and-family\/friends\/the-blessings-of-reaching-out\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">reach out<\/a> and say, \u2018Hi, I miss you. Can we talk?\u2019 Try breaking the ice with a funny picture or a happy memory.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>A phone call can be overwhelming, notes <a href=\"https:\/\/smileyposwolsky.com\/friendship\">psychologist Kyler Shumway<\/a>, the author of <em>The Friendship Formula. <\/em>\u201cStart small by sending a text or email or even a letter,\u201d he suggests. \u201cIt\u2019s a way to send a simple, non-threatening message. The other person can sit with the message while they decide how to respond\u2014or even if they want to respond at all.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>How about a friendship that\u2019s dissolved due to a conflict? \u201cIt\u2019s easy to think about what the other person has done wrong,\u201d Shumway says. \u201cBut are you willing to reach out and own any hurt you may have caused and ask <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/friends-and-family\/friends\/the-courage-to-forgive-a-friend\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">forgiveness<\/a>? It goes a long way if you can say, \u2018I prioritize us over the disagreement.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Your message should depend on the level of friendship you\u2019re seeking, Franco says. \u201cDo you want to be in an intimate friendship with them? Then you need to be able to <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/living-longer-living-better\/why-he-couldnt-let-this-friendship-slip-away\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">talk through the conflict<\/a>.\u201d Which means sooner rather than later, you\u2019ll have to move beyond text or email and talk on the phone or in person.<\/p>\n<p>If your friend doesn\u2019t respond to your initial overture, Shumway suggests following up\u2014once. Still no response? \u201cThey are not ready, and you have to respect their need for space,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n<p>And what if you never hear back? \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/angels-and-miracles\/miracles\/gods-grace\/finding-peace-after-rejection\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Rejection <\/a>can sting,\u201d Shumway says. \u201cLet yourself feel hurt. Then give yourself some grace and compassion. You can rest easy knowing you planted a seed by trying. They can think on it, pray on it. Then maybe they will feel in a place where they will come to you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Poswolsky says acceptance is key, no matter what the outcome is. \u201cYou can\u2019t control how somebody responds. It doesn\u2019t mean they hate you. It just means they don\u2019t want to reconnect right now. That\u2019s it. Maybe you\u2019ll hear from them in three months or three years.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>If your bid to reconnect is successful\u2014\u201cIt\u2019s common that people who reach out are surprised and delighted to hear: \u2018Oh my goodness, I\u2019ve been thinking about reaching out to <em>you<\/em>!\u2019\u201d Shumway says\u2014then it\u2019s time to shift into maintenance mode. Poswolsky is a big proponent of regularly scheduled meetups.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI like having rituals that you return to,\u201d he says. \u201cI have a boys hike with my closest college friends each year where we go off the grid for a few days. I have a monthly game night with some other friends.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s important to prioritize working on friendships. They\u2019re crucial to our well-being. The stronger our connections to others, the happier and healthier we are. \u201cYou have to have intention; you need to take initiative,\u201d Franco says. \u201cScience tells us that people who see friendships as a matter of luck are lonelier. Sometimes we get too busy and take our <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/george-washington-s-inspiring-definition-of-friendship\/\">friendships<\/a> for granted.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She has found that pulling back from social media has given her time to become a more thoughtful friend. \u201cSocial interaction is a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it becomes.\u201d So go flex that muscle!<\/p>\n<p><em>For more inspiring stories, subscribe to <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shopguideposts.org\/magazines\/guideposts-magazine.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>Guideposts<\/strong><\/a> <em>magazine<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There is a saying that people come into your life for a reason, a season\u2014or a lifetime. But what if you\u2019re longing for a friend from your past to be a part of your present life? Friendships dissipate for a number of reasons. Sometimes there\u2019s a big falling out and the relationship ends with a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":28625,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[229],"tags":[215,46,200],"ppma_author":[2475],"class_list":["post-19909","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-friends","tag-forgiveness","tag-friends","tag-loneliness"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v26.6 (Yoast SEO v27.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to Rekindle a Friendship - Guideposts Articles<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Rekindle a Friendship\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There is a saying that people come into your life for a reason, a season\u2014or a lifetime. 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