{"id":19951,"date":"2026-03-11T08:33:31","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T08:33:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/jen-hatmakers-parenting-tips-for-busy-moms\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:08:54","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:08:54","slug":"jen-hatmakers-parenting-tips-for-busy-moms","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/friends-and-family\/parenting\/children\/jen-hatmakers-parenting-tips-for-busy-moms\/","title":{"rendered":"Jen Hatmaker’s Parenting Tips for Busy Moms"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have a confession, y\u2019all. You might not guess it from reading my books or watching My Big Family Renovation, <\/em>my family\u2019s show on HGTV, but I am the worst <\/em>end-of-school-year mom ever.<\/p>\n

My five kids, ages 9 to 17, are good students. I care about their education. By May, though, I\u2019m spent. Final exams, bake sales, a last-minute Benjamin Franklin costume. There\u2019s only so much I can take. It\u2019s hard enough being a working mom (I write, speak and blog) and a pastor\u2019s wife. Throw algebra into the mix and things will get ugly.<\/p>\n

Two years ago, I lost it. I just could not check my kids\u2019 homework one more day. Their schools require parents to sign off on homework every night. There\u2019s even a signature sheet right in their homework folders. I posted a photo of my fifth grader\u2019s folder on my blog, my signature morphing from pretty cursive in September to barely legible in March to blank spaces in May.<\/p>\n

ENJOYING THIS STORY? SUBSCRIBE TO GUIDEPOSTS MAGAZINE<\/strong><\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

I must\u2019ve struck a nerve. Parents all over the country commented. That post was shared almost half a million times on Facebook. The Today <\/em>show even called.<\/p>\n

Hearing from all those stressed-out moms out there, I realized I had some advice to share. Here are a few tips from a mom who\u2019s had her share of triumphs, tears and, yes, homework.<\/p>\n

Reach them where they\u2019re at<\/strong>
\nDid I mention that my husband, Brandon, and I have five kids? Gavin, Sydney, Caleb, Ben and Remy\u2014three extroverts, one introvert and one who can\u2019t pick a side.<\/p>\n

Every morning, they stagger into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from their eyes. Here\u2019s how our conversations usually go down:<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> Whatcha got going on today?
\nThe Kids:<\/strong> Don\u2019t know.
\nMe:<\/strong> What\u2019re you doing in school?
\nThe Kids:<\/strong> Can\u2019t remember.<\/p>\n

Sound familiar? Kids aren\u2019t the best conversationalists. Sometimes you have to get in there and find a way to connect.<\/p>\n

Sydney, 14, is our family\u2019s deep thinker. The two of us can sit on the porch and talk theology till the sun goes down. She\u2019s got fierce convictions. Two years ago, she became a vegetarian. Last spring, she went vegan. Bless it. In a family of meat lovers, that girl sure knows how to march to her own beat! I\u2019m not giving up burgers, but I love to cook. So we bond over testing vegan recipes.<\/p>\n

READ MORE: PARENTING TIPS FROM THE JONAS BROTHERS’ MOM<\/strong><\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Ben, 11, is our athlete. He can throw, pitch, tackle, you name it. When he gets home from school, we take out our exercise mats and have ourselves a little workout party. Put on music, use weights, do crunches. He\u2019s the best workout partner.<\/p>\n

Your kids are whole human beings with their own extraordinary talents and interests. Enjoy them exactly the way God made them. Start with what you have in common.<\/p>\n

Life isn\u2019t a Pinterest board<\/strong>
\nHoller if this has happened to you. You haven\u2019t washed your hair in a week. Pulled an all-nighter baking cupcakes for church. Packed the kids saltines for lunch. Then you check your Facebook feed and some supermom has posted a photo of the lunch she just made her kids\u2014dolphin-shaped sandwiches leaping into a sea of kale.<\/p>\n

Bless that mama\u2019s heart, but let\u2019s get real. Raising kids is messy! One afternoon I was driving home, the car packed with five starving kids. We live in a small town outside Austin, Texas, the kind of place where everybody really does know everybody. A mile away from the house, Gavin and Caleb started fussing.<\/p>\n

\u201cChildren, if you value your lives, you will cut that out right now,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

More squabbling. I pulled over.<\/p>\n

\u201cGavin and Caleb, get out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou heard me,\u201d I said. \u201cYou know the way back.\u201d<\/p>\n

Two shell-shocked boys tumbled out of the car. I peeled out, tires screeching all the way home. Ten minutes later, Gavin and Caleb trudged through the front door.<\/p>\n

Okay, maybe I freaked out a little. But it\u2019s good to keep the kiddos on their toes. It\u2019s okay to show them you have limits too. Sit your arguing kids nose to nose until they get over it. (They won\u2019t make it one minute before bursting out laughing.) Creative discipline, y\u2019all.<\/p>\n

Because at the end of the day, parenting is hard. Forget about crafting the perfect family image. We\u2019ll all mess up more times than we can count. Yet somehow, your kids will be okay. They\u2019ll turn your missteps into funny stories one day.<\/p>\n

READ MORE: THE ART OF PARENTING<\/strong><\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

I think moms should schedule a mini-meltdown once a month. Just saying.<\/p>\n

Put your Sherlock cap on<\/strong>
\nGod knows I\u2019m a bit of a free-range mama. I don\u2019t hover. Who has the time? They want to slide down the banister? Fine. But they\u2019ll drive themselves to the ER.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, though, you have to play detective with your kids. Know when to step back and when to intervene. Brandon and I adopted our two youngest, Ben and Remy, from Ethiopia three years ago. One day this past winter, Remy seemed off. \u201cSomething\u2019s going on there,\u201d I told Brandon. \u201cShe\u2019s a little wobbly.\u201d<\/p>\n

Remy and I plopped down on the couch for some girl talk. \u201cBaby, what\u2019s bothering you?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

The whole story came out. Remy\u2019s third-grade class was studying inherited traits. Her classmates could say, \u201cI got my blue eyes from my mom\u201d or \u201cI look just like Grandpa!\u201d Not Remy. I had no words to ease her pain. Instead, we boohooed on the couch together. At bedtime, we prayed extra hard for her family in Ethiopia.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s tough for some kids to share what they\u2019re hurting over. You might not have all the answers for them. But if your kids know you\u2019re there, even for a quick crying sesh on the couch, they\u2019ll come back whether they\u2019re 8 or 18.<\/p>\n

Say sayonara to screens<\/strong>
\nWe have \u201cno-screen time\u201d in our house for a good chunk of the day. No TV, phones, tablets or laptops. When summer rolls around, though, I panic. Two whole months. How in the world will I be able to entertain five kids without screens?<\/p>\n

That kind of pressure didn\u2019t exist when I was a kid. The second school was over, Mom told my brothers, sister and me to get outside. She left snacks out on the patio and told us to drink from the hose if we got thirsty. We played for hours and only went inside for dinner. The next morning, we were back outside again.<\/p>\n

READ MORE: MOTHERHOOD AND MIRACLES<\/strong><\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Whenever I\u2019m stressing, I stop and think, \u201cWhat would Mom do?\u201d Like last summer. Caleb and Ben were slumped on the couch, bored out of their minds, staring at the extinguished flat-screen in the living room.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet outside,\u201d I told them.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are we gonna do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know. Figure it out!\u201d<\/p>\n

An hour later, I looked into the backyard and nearly passed out. They\u2019d climbed a tree and were skateboarding down its long, low-hanging branches. Well, I got what I asked for!<\/p>\n

Let kids be kids. It\u2019s not on you to entertain them 24\/7. They don\u2019t need screens to get creative. They have their own minds.<\/p>\n

Serve together, stay together<\/strong>
\nBrandon is the pastor of a small church in Austin. Our kids attend service every Sunday. But I want them to see faith in action beyond the pulpit. Seven years ago, we changed up our church Easter celebration. We put on a huge feast for the homeless downtown. Worship and barbecue, it doesn\u2019t get better than that.<\/p>\n

This year, we went further. We discovered that many in Austin\u2019s homeless community needed decent shoes. So our church collected new sneakers and work boots to distribute at our barbecue. We collected almost 1,400 pairs of shoes\u2014filled an entire moving truck!<\/p>\n

We had two lines of shoes going, one for women, one for men. A deaf woman was having trouble explaining the footwear she needed. My friend called over my 17-year-old, Gavin. He\u2019s fluent in sign language.<\/p>\n

He knelt on the floor and fitted the gal with the perfect pair of sneakers. He visited with her for a while. You should have seen her face light up at having someone carry on a real conversation with her. You should have seen mine.<\/p>\n

You do all these things for your kids. Teach them how to read, chew with their mouths closed and pray before bed. But you never know what\u2019s going to stick. You can only prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child.<\/p>\n

The Lord knows, we get so many things wrong as parents. Then there are those beautiful, blessed moments we get things right. I\u2019m so grateful for those moments. I hope they carry my kids till they have kids of their own.<\/p>\n

Watch as Jen<\/span> reveals how her faith informs her parenting decisions.<\/span><\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Did you enjoy this story? Subscribe to <\/em>Guideposts<\/strong><\/a> magazine<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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