{"id":20174,"date":"2026-03-11T08:55:36","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T08:55:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/she-expresses-gratitude-all-year-round-in-heartfelt-notes\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:09:26","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:09:26","slug":"she-expresses-gratitude-all-year-round-in-heartfelt-notes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/she-expresses-gratitude-all-year-round-in-heartfelt-notes\/","title":{"rendered":"She Expresses Gratitude All Year Round in Heartfelt Notes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Does your family go around the table at <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/inspiring-stories\/she-started-a-unique-thanksgiving-tradition\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Thanksgiving<\/a> sharing what they\u2019re grateful for? My family has its own twist on that tradition, and we do it year-round\u2014not just the fourth Thursday of November. It goes back to me losing the spirit of the holiday many years ago.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThis tablecloth will never do,\u201d I\u2019d told my husband, Kevin, as we set the table one Thanksgiving when our kids, Esther and Ron, were young. \u201cIt\u2019s got a stain.\u201d Kev said it didn\u2019t matter, that I could cover the stain with my new turkey salt and pepper shakers. \u201cBut my parents will be here!\u201d I said. They were coming from out of town, and I wanted everything to be perfect.<\/p>\n<p>Although I\u2019d been out of Mom and Dad\u2019s home and married for more than a decade, I was <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/friends-and-family\/family\/5-ways-to-ease-thanksgiving-stress\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">still trying to prove myself to them<\/a> as a wife and a mother. Criticisms from my childhood constantly echoed through my mind: \u201cNo, that\u2019s not the right way,\u201d Mom would tell me, or \u201cIf I want something done right, I\u2019ll just have to do it myself.\u201d Whenever she and Dad visited us, I braced myself for more faultfinding.<\/p>\n<p>I knew I\u2019d lost sight of the reasons for Thanksgiving: celebrating <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/angels-and-miracles\/miracles\/gods-grace\/guideposts-classics-michael-landon-gods-blessings\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">God\u2019s care and provision<\/a>, showing others how much we appreciate them, spending time with the ones we love. There was just so much to do! That year, like every year, I got bogged down in the long list of details, from cooking to cleaning to decorating. That\u2014along with my perfectionism\u2014stole the joy from our celebration. Until God got my attention as only he could.<\/p>\n<p>The summer Esther was 12 and Ron was 9, Kevin and I attended a marriage retreat for pastors and their spouses. I found myself leaning forward when the speaker talked about correcting others. \u201cWhen you criticize someone, tell them in person,\u201d she said. The speaker explained that seeing the kindness in your eyes and hearing the gentle tone of your voice will show your loved one that you want to make the relationship better. Not change them.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBut when you have a compliment, <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/writing-notes-of-encouragement\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">put it in writing<\/a>,\u201d the speaker told us. \u201cThen the person you\u2019re praising can save it to read whenever they feel invisible and unappreciated.\u201d As a mom of tweens and the wife of a busy youth pastor, I knew that feeling well. Did Kevin and our kids ever feel the same way?<\/p>\n<p>On the drive home from the retreat, I thought, <em>I do a lot of correcting, but I don\u2019t know how often I give compliments. Especially in writing. <\/em>I made a mental note to <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/friends-and-family\/parenting\/children\/jen-hatmakers-tips-for-creating-traditions-with-your-kids\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">put this idea into practice at the next Thanksgiving<\/a>, when there would be just the four of us. I mentioned it to Kev that fall, and he was all for it.<\/p>\n<p>After our tummies were full of <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/angels-and-miracles\/miracles\/pass-the-turkey\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">turkey<\/a>, mashed potatoes, seven-layer salad and cherry pie, I put our names in a basket, then handed out pens and blank note cards. \u201cOkay, we\u2019re each going to pick a name and write a message to that person saying what we appreciate about them.\u201d Esther and Ron rolled their eyes practically up to the ceiling. I could tell what they were thinking: <em>Great, another one of Mom\u2019s family-improvement plans.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Kevin told the kids that he and I had agreed beforehand about the Thanksgiving messages. Ignoring Esther and Ron\u2019s sighs and slumped shoulders, I passed around the basket. \u201cGod, please make this work,\u201d I whispered. \u201cOr at least let it not be a total failure.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The room was silent as we labored over our notes. After we all finished and exchanged cards, we read the compliments we\u2019d received aloud. I thought Ron\u2019s note, \u201cYou are smart,\u201d was too brief, but Esther sat up straighter in her chair after reading what her brother had written about her. And when I read Kev\u2019s declaration, \u201cI am proud of your singing and writing talents,\u201d I fought back a couple tears.<\/p>\n<p>I decided from then on to write more notes to our family. A list of five things I liked about someone tucked into a lunch sack. A note of praise left on a pillow. A card that read, \u201cI miss you already\u201d hidden among the clothes in a suitcase.<\/p>\n<p>The unexpected bonus was the <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/entertainment\/books\/napkin-notes-creating-a-daily-connection-with-those-you-love\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">depth of joy I felt<\/a> while writing those messages. Was it the act of writing? The extra effort it took? Or the tangible expression of gratitude? Whatever the reason, this renewed sense of thankfulness seeped into our family life. Giving thanks became a year-round habit, not just once a year.<\/p>\n<p>Kevin began giving me greeting cards more often, something I\u2019d missed from our dating days. I saved every card, tucking them into a drawer in my nightstand, so I could dip into them whenever I was feeling sad or stressed. Reading that Kev appreciated my constant prayers for our family or my hard work reassured me that I was valued. It even helped me let go of some of that <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/healing\/3-ways-to-let-go-of-perfectionism\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">penchant for perfectionism<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>I still have a letter tacked to the wall in our bedroom that Kevin had written me during a very hard time in my life: \u201cYou will accomplish great things for God. The Lord is holding you close to his heart. Jesus has <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/life-advice\/finding-life-purpose\/when-god-has-big-plans-for-you\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">great plans<\/a> for your future.\u201d The knowledge that someone\u2014not just anyone but the man who lived with me and knew all of my faults\u2014believed in me was a game changer.<\/p>\n<p>When Esther went to college 1,500 miles from us, Kevin and I were thrilled to receive a <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/giving-thanks-with-a-childs-heart\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">thank-you letter<\/a> from her that first semester. Our daughter highlighted our generosity, unconditional love and understanding. When Ron moved away after high school, we got a note thanking us for having rules. \u201cI\u2019ve met a lot of people lately whose parents didn\u2019t care what they did,\u201d Ron wrote. \u201cI realize now what a different person I\u2019d be if you hadn\u2019t set some boundaries in our family.\u201d That message made all the conflicts during our kids\u2019 teen years seem worth it.<\/p>\n<p>I branched out beyond our family. \u201cGod will never let you go\u201d to a friend whose family was falling apart. \u201cAtta Girl\u201d on the essays and math tests of the motherless student I tutored. Thank-you notes to coworkers and friends. Nothing long or flowery, just<a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/how-we-help\/ministries-and-outreach\/giving-others-hope-and-encouragement\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> simple expressions<\/a> that showed how much I valued that person.<\/p>\n<p>These days, I send my compliments via <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/4-positive-ways-you-could-be-using-social-media\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">email or social media<\/a> more often than I do with pen and note cards. But I still make a conscious effort to look for, and praise, good qualities in others\u2014a habit that\u2019s made a positive difference in my perspective.<\/p>\n<p>I no longer need to have everything perfect on the Thanksgiving table or at any other time. I\u2019m more interested in how I can help the people around me feel loved and appreciated. Especially in writing. Because the power behind every word is the <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/prayer\/bible-resources\/deepen-your-faith\/the-power-of-gods-love\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">power of God\u2019s love<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><em>For more inspiring stories, subscribe to <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shopguideposts.org\/magazines\/guideposts-magazine.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>Guideposts<\/strong><\/a> <em>magazine<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Does your family go around the table at Thanksgiving sharing what they\u2019re grateful for? My family has its own twist on that tradition, and we do it year-round\u2014not just the fourth Thursday of November. It goes back to me losing the spirit of the holiday many years ago. \u201cThis tablecloth will never do,\u201d I\u2019d told [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":28758,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[222,172,136],"tags":[35,25,31,81],"ppma_author":[779],"class_list":["post-20174","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family","category-friends-and-family","category-positive-living","tag-encouragement","tag-family","tag-gratitude","tag-thanksgiving"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v26.6 (Yoast SEO v27.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>She Expresses Gratitude All Year Round in Heartfelt Notes - Guideposts Articles<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"She Expresses Gratitude All Year Round in Heartfelt Notes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Does your family go around the table at Thanksgiving sharing what they\u2019re grateful for? My family has its own twist on that tradition, and we do it year-round\u2014not just the fourth Thursday of November. 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