{"id":20350,"date":"2026-03-11T09:13:39","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T09:13:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/the-sign-that-pointed-nia-vardalos-toward-adoption\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:09:53","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:09:53","slug":"the-sign-that-pointed-nia-vardalos-toward-adoption","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/friends-and-family\/parenting\/children\/the-sign-that-pointed-nia-vardalos-toward-adoption\/","title":{"rendered":"The Sign That Pointed Nia Vardalos Toward Adoption"},"content":{"rendered":"

There are signs in life. And if you\u2019re looking, you\u2019ll see them.<\/p>\n

In my case, there was an actual sign, a giant billboard on Third Street and La Cienega. I must have driven past it a thousand times on my way to the supermarket or the shopping center. It was a picture of a child and the sign read, \u201cWant to be a foster parent? Want to foster\/adopt?\u201d<\/p>\n

No<\/em>, I thought, that\u2019s just one more path to disappointment.<\/em><\/p>\n

ENJOYING THIS STORY? SUBSCRIBE TO GUIDEPOSTS MAGAZINE<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not proud of this, but I had a lot of misconceptions about American foster care. To me, foster care meant that a child would be placed with you, then taken away. I didn\u2019t want to go through all of that.<\/p>\n

For 10 years, my husband, Ian, and I had wanted be parents. We had tried everything. Then we looked into pri\u00advate adoption. We put our names on waiting lists in every state, then even in China and Greece.<\/p>\n

But the phone never rang and the guest room\u2014the room we hoped would one day be our child\u2019s\u2014stayed empty.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t give up easily. I write most of the movies I act in, and if something doesn\u2019t feel right, I rewrite the scene again and again until it works. Not this time. There didn\u2019t seem to be any happy ending. I wondered if we\u2019d exhausted all possibilities.<\/p>\n

Now I can tell our daughter the whole story from start to finish, all the wonderful details, and I often do. I tell her about the phone call that came that evening, the call that changed our lives.<\/p>\n

It was 9:00 P.M. and I was at home writing a screenplay when the phone rang. It was the social worker from the foster adoption agency, and she simply said, \u201cYou\u2019ve been matched with a three-year-old girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

I was stunned. I sat down, then a minute later felt the cool floor on my forehead. I rolled over and stared at the ceiling. This was actually happening.<\/p>\n

The social workers we\u2019d been talking to for months were so hard-working, helpful, patient and understanding, I called them our super-pretty angels. When we met, they had promised this process would work, that I would be a mother. And here was that phone call I had been waiting for.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen is she coming?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cTomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ian is an actor too. He was shooting then so I texted, \u201cCall me when you\u2019re done.\u201d<\/p>\n

When Ian called, I told him the news and we both laughed, then fell silent for a minute. What we\u2019d wanted for so long was finally about to happen.<\/p>\n

He got home and we stayed up giddily\u2014and nervously\u2014discuss\u00ading everything from where she would sleep, what groceries we would have to buy, to if she might be afraid of the dogs.<\/p>\n

The next morning, Ian took off with a shopping list. I will never forget the sight of him driving up a few hours later surrounded by pink stuff. I could barely make out his smiling face and two hands on the steering wheel.<\/p>\n

The car was crammed with comforters, pink pillows, a Hello Kitty blanket, pink stuffed toys, Elmo, clothes.<\/p>\n

We brought everything into the guest room. We\u2019d had only 14 hours notice\u2014but we made it her room. We wondered how she\u2019d like it.<\/p>\n

Our daughter loves to hear the story of how we all moved into that one room. She didn\u2019t say very much at first. We\u2019d explain that we loved her and she was going to live with us. She was very brave. But at night she was afraid. \u201cHelp her feel safe,\u201d our social workers advised.<\/p>\n

So we slept in her room. Night after night Ian and I took turns holding her in our laps until she fell asleep. I look at her now, and it seems so impossible. She\u2019s so secure. So confident. But back then, she didn\u2019t know us, she didn\u2019t understand what was happening.<\/p>\n

I will always admire her bravery. She walked into our house, into her new life, and embraced it. It was only at night that she cried. Who wouldn\u2019t? It was all so new.<\/p>\n

During the day we did fun things, like blowing bubbles in the backyard and playing with the dogs. We bought tons of stickers and put them all over her room. It was really satisfying and a relief to watch her slowly get used to us.<\/p>\n

Of course, we had our exhausted, sleep-deprived moments when we wondered if we\u2019d done the right thing. Were we capable of being sudden parents to a three-year-old? Had we taken on more than we could possibly handle?<\/p>\n

But then we\u2019d stroke her hair and look at her beautiful face, and we\u2019d know she was meant for us and we were meant for her. She was all we\u2019d ever wanted.<\/p>\n

Our social workers gave us such good advice. \u201cEven though she\u2019s not talking much, speak to her as if she understands,\u201d they said.<\/p>\n

I tell our daughter how she grew in another lady\u2019s tummy. I explain that a man made a baby with that lady. I tell her they weren\u2019t ready to be parents, but we were. She loves to hear the story, and tells me she\u2019s going to have four babies and adopt four more.<\/p>\n

Someday I\u2019ll tell her how little I understood about foster adoption, that there are some 115,000 children in America who are in foster care and legally freed for adoption.<\/p>\n

I was worried if you adopted a foster child, someone from the birth family could still come and take her back. I was afraid that any child in foster care might have suffered such trauma or neglect that she would be impossible to reach.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not proud of these fears. But I understand now when others ask me the same questions.<\/p>\n

What I didn\u2019t know then is that there is no damage that has been done to a child that can\u2019t be undone with love. I have met so many kids who have been adopted from foster care and have gone on to live fantastic, productive lives. It\u2019s why I became the spokesperson for National Adoption Day.<\/p>\n

Our daughter was not damaged or hurt in any way. She was simply relinquished to foster care by two people who were not ready to be parents. I admire them for giving her the chance for a better life. And I am grateful they gave my husband and me the opportunity to be parents.<\/p>\n

Someday I\u2019ll tell our daughter about that sign, the giant billboard that changed our lives.<\/p>\n

I had passed it so many times. Then, one day, heading home, I looked up at it again. Foster\/adopt? What did that mean, exactly? Was this one possibility we hadn\u2019t explored?<\/p>\n

I pulled over and called the number. I soon learned a new term: foster family agency. It\u2019s a network of social workers who guide adopting parents through the system. This process is cost-free.<\/p>\n

These social workers help prospective parents with the paperwork and home study so they can match you with a waiting child. They explained to me: If you want to foster a child, there are 350,000 kids who are currently in the system, and need temporary placement in a loving home.<\/p>\n

If you want to adopt, there are an additional 115,000 children who are legally freed, available for adoption. I didn\u2019t know this. I was surprised. And for the first time in a long time, hopeful.<\/p>\n

The social workers were there for us at every step. Including the day we finalized the adoption of our daughter. At the family courthouse we all smiled for a photo. The look on our faces is of such joy. These loving social workers helped me realize a life goal.<\/p>\n

I am a mom.<\/p>\n

All because I looked up and saw that sign.<\/p>\n

Did you enjoy this story? Subscribe to <\/em>Guideposts<\/strong><\/a> magazine<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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