{"id":20776,"date":"2026-03-11T09:56:18","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T09:56:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/5-tips-for-navigating-mothers-day-when-youre-caring-for-your-mom\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:10:45","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:10:45","slug":"5-tips-for-navigating-mothers-day-when-youre-caring-for-your-mom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/caregiving\/family-caregiving\/aging-parents\/5-tips-for-navigating-mothers-day-when-youre-caring-for-your-mom\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Tips for Navigating Mother\u2019s Day When You&#8217;re Caring for Your Mom"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A picture-perfect Mother\u2019s Day is an ever-elusive prospect, given the age-old question: \u201cWhat is perfection?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When you\u2019re both <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/caregiving\/family-caregiving\/advice-for-caregivers\/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-as-a-sandwich-generation-caregiver\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">caregiver to an older mother and mother to your own kids<\/a>, it can be especially tough to find the time and emotional wherewithal to carve out a celebration for the annals. If you throw a job into the mix, your challenges may feel insurmountable.<\/p>\n<p>The key is to find your own particular sweet spot, even if it means honoring yourself and your mother separately or marking the holiday on a different date entirely, said Liz O\u2019Donnell, founder of <a href=\"https:\/\/workingdaughter.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Working Daughter<\/a>, a community for women balancing <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/caregiving\/resource-center\/6-tips-to-care-for-an-aging-parent-from-caregivers\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">eldercare<\/a>, career, kids and life.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMy term is always \u2018sufficiently celebratory,\u2019\u201d O\u2019Donnell told <em>Guideposts.org<\/em>. \u201cI think as we all get older, what we tend to crave the most is time and <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/inspiring-stories\/when-god-connects-us-in-a-very-special-way\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">connection<\/a>, not killing ourselves to find the perfect gift but finding a way to be with another human being and connect with them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>O\u2019Donnell was a busy marketing executive raising two children when she became a caregiver; shortly after both her parents were diagnosed with terminal illnesses on the same day in 2014. She shared the following tips to help working mothers\u2014who care for their own mothers\u2014successfully navigate this holiday.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Realize that you\u2019re grieving. <\/strong>\u201cI think the two biggest challenges are time and grief,\u201d O\u2019Donnell said. \u201cTime, I think, is pretty obvious. <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/caregiving\/family-caregiving\/advice-for-caregivers\/5-caregiving-tips-to-make-life-easier\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">You\u2019re working, you have children<\/a>, you have potentially your own interests, and self-care. And then you have older parents and it\u2019s incredibly difficult to fit all that in.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>O\u2019Donnell said grief happens well before somebody passes away. \u201cAs our parents age, even as we age, as things change, we\u2019re constantly grieving what was, whether we realize it or not. Grief might be a heavy word but we\u2019re grieving the loss of the way things used to be. Because things are changing, the holidays aren\u2019t the same.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>One way to deal with <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/better-living\/emotional-and-mental-health\/honoring-the-process-of-grief-and-loss\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">grief <\/a>is to stay the heck off social media, O\u2019Donnell said. \u201cThe thing about it is that we\u2019re all putting our best moments forward,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re struggling during a holiday moment and other people are posting \u2018the flowers my husband gave me,\u2019 and your husband didn\u2019t give you flowers, or \u2018the beautiful brunch with my mother\u2019 and maybe there were only two minutes of that brunch that were actually pleasant. It\u2019s unnecessary and it\u2019s not healthy.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Manage your expectations. <\/strong>Society leads us to believe there are people out there who are having these picture-perfect days, and yet real life never seems to measure up, so there\u2019s some stress in that gap. <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/caregiving\/family-caregiving\/caregiver-stress\/5-tips-to-adjust-your-expectations-as-a-caregiver\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Set expectations for yourself.<\/a> <\/p>\n<p>If that day on the calendar isn\u2019t a day that makes sense to have a get-together or some fun event, Mother\u2019s Day doesn\u2019t have to be on Mother\u2019s Day, O\u2019Donnell said. \u201cIf life circumstances are particularly challenging this May, pick a day in June when whatever crisis or challenge you\u2019re facing has subsided a bit.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When bringing everyone together, think about what are the needs of the group. If you have young kids, it could be as simple as packing activities for them so you can sit and enjoy a cup of tea or a brunch with your mother.<\/p>\n<p>From the older parent\u2019s perspective, consider the environment, if they get disoriented or are hard of hearing, or have incontinence issues. Think about how you are setting up each group\u2014the children, the adult child and the mother\u2014for success and what\u2019s the common ground; that\u2019s probably where your sweet spot is for celebrating, according to O\u2019Donnell.  <\/p>\n<p><strong>Determine your values around the holiday.<\/strong> O\u2019Donnell suggests that you think about what about \u201cMother\u2019s Day\u201d as a holiday is important to you. \u201cFor me, when my kids were young and I was working, I just never felt like I had enough time with them, so I wanted <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/prayer\/bible-resources\/7-bible-verses-for-mothers-day\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Mother\u2019s Day<\/a> to be about me,\u201d she said. \u201cI wanted it to be a day where I was pampered a little bit by my family, and I could be with my children and relax.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>O\u2019Donnell said that as her kids got older and became less hands-on, however, all she really wanted was to spend time with her mother and mother-in-law. \u201cI wanted to make the day about them and I didn\u2019t really care if they did anything for me,\u201d she added.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI think every one of us, as we go through life, are going to have different needs around the holiday,\u201d O\u2019Donnell said. \u201cIt\u2019s okay to set your own goals and expectations. You don\u2019t need to feel bad about that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Outsource impersonal tasks. <\/strong>There\u2019s that bit of eldercare that\u2019s quite intimate and personal, or that the care recipient may not want outsourced to other people. \u201cThink about what are the tasks that you can outsource? Those tend to be chores, meals, yardwork, those sorts of impersonal tasks that we all have to do every day,\u201d O\u2019Donnell said. <\/p>\n<p>\u201cOutsource them or <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/caregiving\/family-caregiving\/caregiver-stress\/10-ways-to-bless-the-sandwich-generation\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">ask for help<\/a> to do my grocery shopping or pitch in for some housecleaning, so that I can be attentive to my adult parent and maybe I can also get a breather.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Don\u2019t isolate.<\/strong> Because caregiving can be so isolating, there are sensitive topics you may not be comfortable talking to other people about, O\u2019Donnell said. <\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe talk freely in the<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/workingdaughter\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> Working Daughter Facebook group<\/a> about everything from, \u2018Does anybody know the best walker?\u2019 to \u2018Somebody tell me something funny today.\u2019 Caregivers really need support,\u201d she said. \u201cHere\u2019s a place, 24 hours a day, where you have 6,000 people who get what you\u2019re going through and the group is very supportive of each other. It\u2019s kind of a beautiful place.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Working Daughter also offers <a href=\"https:\/\/workingdaughter.myshopify.com\/collections\/gifts-for-elderly-parents\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">gift ideas for older parents<\/a>, including those specifically for Mother\u2019s Day.<\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A picture-perfect Mother\u2019s Day is an ever-elusive prospect, given the age-old question: \u201cWhat is perfection?\u201d When you\u2019re both caregiver to an older mother and mother to your own kids, it can be especially tough to find the time and emotional wherewithal to carve out a celebration for the annals. If you throw a job into [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":29057,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[381],"tags":[210,25,70,271],"ppma_author":[762],"class_list":["post-20776","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-aging-parents","tag-caregiving","tag-family","tag-mother","tag-mothers-day"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v26.6 (Yoast SEO v27.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>5 Tips for Navigating Mother\u2019s Day When You&#8217;re Caring for Your Mom - Guideposts Articles<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"5 Tips for Navigating Mother\u2019s Day When You&#8217;re Caring for Your Mom\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A picture-perfect Mother\u2019s Day is an ever-elusive prospect, given the age-old question: \u201cWhat is perfection?\u201d When you\u2019re both caregiver to an older mother and mother to your own kids, it can be especially tough to find the time and emotional wherewithal to carve out a celebration for the annals. 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