{"id":21167,"date":"2026-03-11T10:39:36","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T10:39:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/a-reason-for-hope-stories-of-recovery\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:11:37","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:11:37","slug":"a-reason-for-hope-stories-of-recovery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/addiction-and-recovery\/a-reason-for-hope-stories-of-recovery\/","title":{"rendered":"A Reason for Hope: Stories of Recovery"},"content":{"rendered":"

April 1, 1978. The desert sun blazed through the living-room windows of my parents\u2019 house in Rancho Mirage, California. We sat in a circle\u2014me, my three brothers and several medical professionals. My dad had his arm around Mom on the couch. She was still in her robe and looked tiny amid the sofa cushions, fragile almost. The doctors called what we were about to do an intervention. To me it was a chance\u2014maybe our last chance\u2014to help Mom, Betty Ford, be herself again.<\/p>\n

One by one, my father and brothers gave my mom specific examples of how her pill-taking and drinking had affected our family. Mom said nothing, only cried in Dad\u2019s arms. Then it was my turn. I\u2019d rehearsed this so many times, but listening to my mom\u2019s sobs, I broke down too. I brushed away my tears and turned to her. I couldn\u2019t lose my resolve now.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re falling down all the time, Mom,\u201d I said. \u201cRemember that night you cracked your ribs and chipped a tooth? I\u2019m so worried you\u2019ll hurt yourself again.\u201d I told her how it hurt my feelings when she forgot our plans or stuff I told her about my life. I told her how much I loved her. \u201cI just want you to get better,\u201d I said. What I didn\u2019t realize then is that Mom wasn\u2019t the only one who needed to go into recovery. Addiction is a family disease. And it can affect any family, even a First Family. Even my family.<\/p>\n

Mom took a lot of pills when we lived in the White House. She had had more than her share of health problems. She was diagnosed with breast cancer six weeks after my dad assumed the presidency. Now cancer-free, she still struggled with arthritis<\/a> and a pinched nerve in her neck. Doctors had been prescribing her muscle relaxants and painkillers for years.<\/p>\n

But ever since I\u2019d left college the year before and gotten a condo near my parents in southern California, I\u2019d been worried. Mom was late and forgetful. She slept all the time and even when she was up, she moved as if in a fog. I started accompanying my dad to social lunches and dinners in her place. Maybe she just needs more rest, I told myself. Then one day I noticed a bruise on Mom\u2019s knee. And then another on her arm. Before my mom met my dad and became First Lady Betty Ford, she\u2019d been a dancer. Clumsy was the last word you\u2019d think of to describe her. How could she have been so out of it?<\/p>\n

I knew Mom drank. So did Dad and all their friends for that matter. A cocktail before dinner, some wine with. No one paid much attention back then to the warnings on prescription bottles about mixing the pills with alcohol. Still, I\u2019d always thought an alcoholic was someone who lived on the street and drank whiskey out of a paper bag. Not someone like my mom. I only knew that lately I didn\u2019t want to be around her. Sometimes I looked at her when she had that faraway expression and inside I screamed, Where are you? I missed my involved, energetic mom\u2014and I wanted her back. At night, I turned my questions to God. How do I make her well again? Show me what to do!<\/p>\n

It was my OB-GYN\u2014Dr. Joe Cruse\u2014who suggested an intervention. He was Mom\u2019s doctor too and a recovering alcoholic himself. I told my dad and brothers we had to try it. Dad cut short a business trip. My brothers flew in. I was more than ready to get things out into the open. But I wasn\u2019t prepared for the hurt, almost pleading look in Mom\u2019s eyes after I finished speaking that April afternoon. Dad held her close and said, \u201cWe all want you to get better. Will you go into treatment?\u201d<\/p>\n

Mom gazed around at all of us, then nodded mutely. I sagged with relief. Dr. Cruse and I went through the house and put every pill bottle we could find into a cardboard box. A few days later, Mom entered a six-week rehab program at Long Beach Naval Hospital. I couldn\u2019t wait for her to be cured, to be her old self again.<\/p>\n

But like many diseases, addiction can be controlled only, not cured. In the seventies, many people thought addiction was a lack of character or morals or a mental illness. Some people still do. But addiction is a chronic disease. The brain chemistry of an alcoholic or drug addict<\/a> makes it nearly impossible to stop without help. Dr. Cruse explained this to me. So did the interventionist. And I accepted it. What I found much harder to accept was that, in a way, I was afflicted too. We all were.<\/p>\n

Two weeks after Mom went to Long Beach, I went out there to support her and encourage her along. One of the clinicians told a group of us who had family members in treatment, \u201cYou all are here because it\u2019s not just your loved ones who have a problem. So do you.\u201d<\/p>\n

My defenses went up instantly. Wasn\u2019t I the one who had pushed to get Mom help? How could I have done that if I had a problem too?<\/p>\n

\u201cMany of you may have been accomplices in your loved ones\u2019 addictions, whether you realize it or not. It\u2019s called enabling. That is the nature of the disease. All of you have gone through denial. Fear. Anger. Resentment. It\u2019s time to start dealing with that.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was strongly suggested that I attend an Al-Anon meeting. I went reluctantly and slouched into a seat in the back. People began to share their stories. I found myself leaning forward. A woman who looked slightly older than me said, \u201cSome nights I lie awake wondering if my mom is drinking. I start thinking about all these horrible things that could be happening to her.\u201d I\u2019ve done that too.<\/p>\n

I kept going to meetings. And I started thinking about my relationship with my mom. She\u2019d gotten cancer my senior year of high school. I\u2019d been torn between wanting to assert my independence and wanting to take care of her. Her illness had made national headlines then; this time her pain was private. But I guess my need to protect her had never really gone away.<\/p>\n

That came into sharper focus when Mom returned home from treatment. She was like a rosebud coming into bloom. Healthy and vibrant. But I didn\u2019t trust her. No, I didn\u2019t trust the disease. I still lay awake nights. After all, she\u2019d covered up her addictions before. Was it only a matter of time before it all came crashing down? At least when she was drinking I knew.<\/p>\n

Accept that you are powerless. That\u2019s what AA had taught Mom\u2014to turn over her sobriety to a loving God. Now Al-Anon was telling me to do the same thing. I didn\u2019t have control over Mom\u2019s alcoholism any more than she did. I had to allow her to take responsibility for herself. And trust God to watch out for her. Help her to stay healthy, I prayed. Help me to accept my powerlessness and trust you, Lord.<\/p>\n

Two years later, Mom was still healthy \u2014but restless. She started talking about opening a rehab clinic with her friend, Leonard Firestone, also in recovery. One afternoon Mom and I were having tea together in the same room where my family had confronted her. \u201cSusan, I have to ask you something,\u201d she said. \u201cThere\u2019s been some talk about naming the center after me. I want you to tell me honestly, would that embarrass you? Or the children you\u2019ll have someday? Do you think it would bother them to have their grandmother\u2019s name on a clinic for addicts?\u201d<\/p>\n

I reached out to squeeze her hand. \u201cI know they\u2019ll be proud, Mom, just like I am. You\u2019re going to change so many lives.\u201d<\/p>\n

Neither of us could have imagined how many. Since the Betty Ford Center opened its doors on October 3, 1982, more than 65,000 people from all walks of life (the vast majority are not celebrities) have participated in one or more of its programs. Last year Mom stepped down as chairman and entrusted the job to me.<\/p>\n

There are four residence halls on campus\u2014two for females and two for males. Women and men tend to have quite different issues in recovery<\/a>. And yet the key issues are the same. The realization of powerlessness. The knowledge that you\u2019ve gotten yourself into a mess that only God can get you out of. That\u2019s where our eight spiritual care counselors come in, and our serenity room, a circular space surrounded by windows where our patients can meditate or simply sort out their feelings.<\/p>\n

We have a family program for relatives and friends. And a children\u2019s program, where seven\u00a0to 12-year-olds learn that their parents\u2019 problems aren\u2019t their fault and how to keep from becoming addicts themselves one day.<\/p>\n

Yes, addiction has a big genetic component\u2014one reason I started educating my two daughters about it very early.<\/p>\n

Mom and Dad still live in the desert, right near the Center. I live in New Mexico now, but come out to the Center for one week each month. My favorite day is Sunday\u2014visiting day. Patients and their families roam about our campus together. Mallards skim the surface of the lake. Bunnies nibble on the brilliant desert flowers that are always in bloom. If you look up, you see palm trees and snowcapped mountains, and the sun beaming down. And if you look around at the faces, you see hope. Hope that there is a way out of the cycle of denial. Hope that relationships will be more open and loving than before. Hope that it really is possible to be happy again, not as your \u201cold self\u201d but as a new person in recovery.<\/p>\n

That healing is a gift, a blessing, a miracle, not just for the addict, but for the whole family.<\/p>\n

This story first appeared in the January 2006 issue of\u00a0<\/em>Guideposts<\/strong><\/a> magazine<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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