{"id":21290,"date":"2026-03-11T10:53:02","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T10:53:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/caring-for-b-smith-dan-gasby-speaks-their-fight-against-alzheimers\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:11:52","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:11:52","slug":"caring-for-b-smith-dan-gasby-speaks-their-fight-against-alzheimers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/caregiving\/alzheimers-and-dementia\/everyday-coping-for-caregivers\/caring-for-b-smith-dan-gasby-speaks-their-fight-against-alzheimers\/","title":{"rendered":"Caring for B. Smith: Dan Gasby Speaks on Their Fight Against Alzheimer’s"},"content":{"rendered":"

B. Smith passed away, age 70, on February 22, 2020. We pray God’s comfort on her family, friends and fans and her husband, Dan Gasby.<\/em><\/p>\n

When B. Smith married her business partner Dan Gasby in 1992, the ground-breaking fashion model had built a lifestyle empire, with cookbooks, a home goods line, the B. Smith restaurant on New York City\u2019s coveted Restaurant Row section of the Theater District and more.<\/p>\n

Now, Gasby tells Guideposts.org, \u201cShe\u2019s not allowed to cook by herself anymore. She\u2019s not allowed to drive.\u201d<\/p>\n

In 2013, at the age of 64, Smith was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer\u2019s disease and Gasby has been her primary caregiver ever since.<\/p>\n

READ MORE: 5 TIPS TO AVOID CAREGIVER BURNOUT<\/strong><\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Gasby noticed a change in Smith about year prior to her diagnosis. For decades, they\u2019d had an easy-going, fun marriage and partnership, but suddenly, things began to fizzle.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe would get angry at me for no apparent reason, when before she was the kindest person I\u2019d ever known. She would be late or not show up to appointments that she would\u2019ve never missed, usually,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

\u201cOnce, she put my wallet on the hood of her car and she drove off and the wallet fell off and we lost it, along with the U.S. Medal of Honor coin from a friend who\u2019d been injured in combat in Afghanistan that I\u2019d kept inside the wallet.\u201d<\/p>\n

The forgetfulness seemed like thoughtfulness to a frustrated Gasby, until one embarrassing incident on live television made it clear to Smith and Gasby that something really serious was wrong with her.<\/p>\n

Smith had a guest spot sharing Labor Day recipes on the Today<\/em> show with co-hosts Peter Alexander and Savannah Guthrie, something the lifestyle guru had done a thousand times before. But when one of the hosts asked her a question, Smith froze. \u201cTen seconds is an eternity on live television,\u201d Gasby writes in their new book about their Alzheimer\u2019s journey, Before I Forget. <\/em>\u201cB. stood there for longer than that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Though Alexander and Guthrie covered for Smith until the segment was over, Smith and Gasby\u2019s new way of life was just beginning.<\/p>\n

\u201cI cry a lot,\u201d Smith writes in Before I Forget. <\/em>\u201cI don\u2019t know why; I guess sometimes I just feel sad. I feel like I\u2019m misbehaving. I don\u2019t want to do that. I want to be nice to my family, but sometimes I can\u2019t be.\u201d<\/p>\n

When Smith gets upset with her husband, \u201cYou\u2019re called everything but a child of God,\u201d Gasby says. \u201cIt\u2019s been gut-wrenching. But you have to divorce yourself from it.\u201d<\/p>\n

To do that seemingly impossible task, Gasby seeks help from others. \u201cYou need to go to therapy and reach out to people,” he tells caregivers. “Tell them you can\u2019t do it alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gasby and Smith are also getting help from their incredible dogs, Bishop and Sansa. Both dogs sleep in their owners\u2019 room at night, keeping Smith from sleepwalking or leaving the room while Gasby is asleep.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cIf she gets up [at night] and gets ready to walk somewhere or goes past a certain point, they\u2019ll start to rustle [and wake me up],\u201d he says. \u201cThey\u2019ll growl and they don\u2019t normally growl, and she\u2019ll snap out of it. Bishop will put his ears back like he knows he did something wrong, but he had to do it. Then he\u2019ll wag his tail and it calms her down. These dogs have been nothing but a God-send.\u201d<\/p>\n

In this new stage of life, Gasby describes himself as \u201cmiserably happy.\u201d Though he is angry and sad that the wife he married is never coming back, as Alzheimer\u2019s is a progressive disease with no known cure, Gasby finds joy in knowing that his wife is still alive and that they are finding a new normal together.<\/p>\n

They stick to a Mediterranean diet and get regular exercise to stay as healthy as they can, and she also takes medication.<\/p>\n

Spiritually, Gasby has learned to do what therapists call \u201cjoining the journey,\u201d for Alzheimer\u2019s caregivers. For Gasby, that means living as much in the present as possible, since that is the most that Smith can do. \u201cYou don\u2019t own tomorrow. You only own now. So live in the now,\u201d he says. \u201cLiving in the now is the highest form of spiritual clarity one can have.\u201d<\/p>\n

In the present, however, is also the anger and sadness that caregivers can experience. Gasby says caregivers need to acknowledge and accept these emotions as valid. \u201cKnow that you\u2019re going to get angry,\u201d he advises. \u201cBecause you\u2019re looking at the same person and the disease is so seductively insidious that you\u2019ll have moments of clarity that will remind you of where you were [compared to now] and you\u2019ll get upset and you have to forgive yourself for being upset.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gasby says anger can be a positive emotion. \u201cAnger is a good thing when it\u2019s directed at the right thing. I can\u2019t get angry at her, but I can be angry at the situation and be sympathetic to others [going through the same thing]. It mobilizes you, it energizes you to try to do what\u2019s better for others.\u201d<\/p>\n

He and Smith have been sharing their journey publicly to raise awareness for the lack of Alzheimer\u2019s research funding. Noted Alzheimer\u2019s researcher Dr. Rudolph E. Tanzi writes in the foreword to Before I Forget<\/em> that Alzheimer\u2019s researchers get less than $250 million, compared to the $6-12 billion the federal government spends on cancer, heart disease and AIDS.<\/p>\n

READ MORE: ENCOURAGING BIBLE VERSES FOR CAREGIVERS<\/strong><\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Gasby calls Alzheimer\u2019s a \u201c21st<\/sup> century civil rights issue,\u201d saying that the cost of caregiving and health care for a loved one with the disease can bankrupt families. \u201cThis affects all of us,\u201d Gasby says.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why Smith and Gasby wrote their book and continue to share not just their struggles, but helpful tips for caregivers to the many Americans dealing with Alzheimer\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201cGoing through this is bigger than just her or me,\u201d Gasby says. \u201cIt\u2019s bigger than just being a caregiver. We\u2019re here to tell the truth about all of it, not to hide it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Before I Forget: Love, Hope, Help, and Acceptance in Our Fight Against Alzheimer’s by B. Smith & Dan Gasby is available in stores now.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

B. Smith passed away, age 70, on February 22, 2020. We pray God’s comfort on her family, friends and fans and her husband, Dan Gasby. When B. Smith married her business partner Dan Gasby in 1992, the ground-breaking fashion model had built a lifestyle empire, with cookbooks, a home goods line, the B. Smith restaurant […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":79,"featured_media":29301,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[385],"tags":[33],"ppma_author":[482],"class_list":["post-21290","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-everyday-coping-for-caregivers","tag-celebrities"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nCaring for B. 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