{"id":21323,"date":"2026-03-11T10:56:28","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T10:56:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/comforted-by-the-words-of-a-departed-daughter\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:11:56","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:11:56","slug":"comforted-by-the-words-of-a-departed-daughter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/life-advice\/managing-life-changes\/comforted-by-the-words-of-a-departed-daughter\/","title":{"rendered":"Comforted by the Words of a Departed Daughter"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I received the last text message from my daughter, Caitlin, on April 15, 2007. Caitlin was a sophomore in college and we always stayed in touch.<\/p>\n<p>I remember being both thrilled and a little heartsick that August day two and a half years before, when my husband, Chris, and I drove her down from upstate New York for freshman orientation at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, Virginia. I\u2019d never left my baby\u2014my only child\u2014behind before.<\/p>\n<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ada4f91 e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"ada4f91\" data-element_type=\"container\" id=\"home-banner-stn\">\n<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-72e6e8eb elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"72e6e8eb\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Community Newsletter<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-261bcec elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"261bcec\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Get More Inspiration Delivered to Your Inbox<\/h3>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"elementor-element 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\/>\n                <script id=\"nf-tmpl-cell\" type=\"text\/template\">\n            <nf-fields><\/nf-fields>\n        <\/script><\/p>\n<p>        <script id=\"nf-tmpl-row\" type=\"text\/template\">\n            <nf-cells><\/nf-cells>\n        <\/script><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>But Caitlin knew how to make me feel better. We weren\u2019t 10 minutes north of Blacksburg on Highway 81 before I got a text message: \u201cI LOVE my room, Mom. And I know I\u2019m going to love it here. Don\u2019t worry. XXC.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Caity and I had been texting ever since. Or at least whenever we could. Caity\u2019s days were wall-to-wall\u2014pre-law classes, church activities, her job as a Resident Advisor, her sorority. She didn\u2019t always have time to check in.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf you\u2019re too busy to call,\u201d I told her, \u201cjust text me an \u2018OK.\u2019 If you\u2019re too busy for that, just type an \u2018O.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That made her laugh.<\/p>\n<p>On the night of April 15 I texted Caity at nine to tell her that the nor\u2019easter that had been blowing all day in New York showed no signs of letting up. \u201cThe radio\u2019s predicting floods,\u201d I wrote. \u201cCan you BELIEVE it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Our house was built on the side of a hill, in an area that was never supposed to flood. I was in bed reading when Chris stuck his head in.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe whole driveway is underwater!\u201d he said. I threw my jeans on and grabbed a flashlight.<\/p>\n<p>Two hours later, with a trench dug and the waters flowing clear of the house, we slogged back in, dried off and I checked my cell phone. Caity had left a message for me. \u201cLet me know how it turns out! XOC.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAll\u2019s well!\u201d I typed back to her. \u201cDad has it under control.\u201d I signed off the way I always did: \u201cLove, hugs and kisses. Talk to you tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Chris and I were up at seven. Still raining. I checked my cell. Nothing from Caitlin. No big deal, though. I knew I\u2019d hear from her before the morning was up. <em>I\u2019m glad she\u2019s not worried about us.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>At eight I decided I might as well head in to work. I\u2019m an occupational therapist and even with the bad weather I knew I\u2019d have a few calls and e-mails to field.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d just walked into my office when Chris called from home. \u201cTurn on your computer. There\u2019s a problem at Virginia Tech.\u201d My computer was still powering up when my cell went off again. Caitlin?<\/p>\n<p>It was a classmate of hers. Had I heard from her?<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo,\u201d I said. \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d Caitlin\u2019s friend said. \u201cBut it\u2019s something really serious. Police are everywhere.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>My computer came on and I clicked to the news. Shock tingled through my body at the lead headline: \u201cTwo dead at Virginia Tech. Gunman still on loose.\u201d <em>Two people out of a campus of thousands. What are the odds that one of them is Caitlin?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>But another part of me rejected that logic. Who would have ever dreamed that our home would flood? Yet it did. Odds don\u2019t matter when something\u2019s wrong. And deep inside I knew something <em>was <\/em>wrong. I knew it as surely as I knew that the inbox on my cell phone still read \u201cempty.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I reached to shut off my computer. The headline had changed. The number of dead had now climbed into the twenties. I shut the computer off and raced for my car, calling Chris again. \u201cGet ready to leave,\u201d I said. \u201cWe\u2019re going down to Virginia.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019ve already packed the car,\u201d Chris said.<\/p>\n<p>We were on the road by 11, heading for the Pocono Mountains on Interstate 84. I sat in the passenger seat, clutching my cell.<\/p>\n<p>If we\u2019d been teleported down to Blacksburg, that wouldn\u2019t have been fast enough. As it was, we were facing an eight-hour drive\u2014if we were lucky.<\/p>\n<p>We weren\u2019t. The minute we hit the mountains the rain turned to snow. Traffic slowed, then came to a halt.<\/p>\n<p>What do you talk about when the only thing you want to talk about is too horrible to mention? While Chris gripped the wheel, I called every hospital and police station within a hundred miles of Virginia Tech. No one could tell me anything about Caitlin.<\/p>\n<p>On the radio the news grew grimmer by the minute. The death toll rose. The names of the first two victims\u2014Emily Hilscher and Ryan Clark\u2014were released. At least 30 more names would follow. As we inched our way toward Blacksburg, the one message that I wanted\u2014that I prayed\u2014would come in, didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>No \u201cOK.\u201d No \u201cO.\u201d Nothing. Yet still I clutched the phone in my hand.<\/p>\n<p>We finally pulled up at Virginia Tech past dark. Police ushered us through the crowds to a room at the rear of the inn, where a bunch of other families were gathered. <em>They\u2019re like us,<\/em> I thought. <em>They haven\u2019t heard from their kids. They\u2019re guessing the worst, but they don\u2019t know for sure.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>There were two of them\u2014a police officer and a minister. They walked up to us slowly. Part of me wanted to run, to run so fast I could get back to yesterday when the only worry I had was a flooded house. Instead, I stood stock-still, bracing for the shock, a shock I knew would change everything, change me forever.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMr. and Mrs. Hammaren?\u201d the officer asked. I nodded. \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he continued. \u201cYour daughter was pronounced dead at five minutes after ten this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>For the last 19 years, everything Chris and I did had been built around Caitlin. She was our world. Strange, but I felt my grip loosen from around the cell phone. No, there would be no more messages from my daughter. Caitlin was gone.<\/p>\n<p>Her sorority sisters took over. They helped Chris and me negotiate our way through that first week. In a haze, forcing ourselves to put one foot in front of another, Chris and I spoke to police, cleaned out Caitlin\u2019s room and attended a service for my daughter with over 600 people attending.<\/p>\n<p>I was numbed by the stark finality of it all. It was impossible to accept all at once, impossible to understand I would never hear from her again.<\/p>\n<p>Just before we headed back to New York, the authorities returned Caitlin\u2019s laptop to me. I stared at it for a long time. No more of her funny e-mails or pictures with her sorority sisters. Without thinking I opened it. Why, I\u2019m not sure. Until I saw it\u2014a small strip of paper taped just above the screen.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGod,\u201d it said, \u201cI know that today nothing can happen that you and I can\u2019t handle together.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I knew\u2014in the way that mothers know things about their daughters\u2014that Caitlin had taped those words in there because she totally believed them. But I couldn\u2019t. Not in this terrible new world that Chris and I suddenly found ourselves living in.<\/p>\n<p>When my grandparents had died a few years before, I\u2019d grieved deeply. But I\u2019d also known that each of them had lived a long and complete life. I was able to handle their passing. God\u2014a God I\u2019d believed in all my life, in an easy, casual way\u2014had taken them to be with him. It hurt, but it was acceptable.<\/p>\n<p>Caitlin\u2019s death wasn\u2019t. Every time I picked up my cell phone I expected to hear her voice. I couldn\u2019t go into her bedroom\u2014could barely go upstairs at all. I could talk to Chris about how I felt, but he was suffering like I was. I needed to talk to someone else. Who?<\/p>\n<p>The only person I really wanted to talk to was Caitlin.<\/p>\n<p>So, with nowhere left to turn, I started talking to God. Out of desperation.<\/p>\n<p>Well, not exactly talk. I yelled. I screamed. <em>Why?<\/em> I asked again and again. <em>How could something like this be? Why did you let my daughter get taken away from me?<\/em> But God was as silent as Caitlin.<\/p>\n<p>In my frustration\u2014my rage\u2014I found myself picking up books on spirituality at the bookstore. I bought them, took them home and burned through them. I even read the Bible\u2014something I hadn\u2019t done since Sunday school.<\/p>\n<p>I was looking for something, looking with a vengeance. A response. An answer. An answer from someone, or something, that would make up for the fact that I would never get the one message I desired\u2014that I would never again hear from the one person I truly needed to hear from.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes something little would happen. In the middle of a book, those earnest words taped to the inside of Caitlin\u2019s computer would pop into my head: <em>Nothing can happen that you and I can\u2019t handle together.<\/em> What did those words mean to her? What did they mean to me?<\/p>\n<p>One August day about four months after Caitlin\u2019s death, I was sitting in the backyard of our house, reading as usual.<\/p>\n<p>It was a gorgeous morning, with the sun pouring down and a gentle breeze shifting the branches of the trees around me, a morning not too different from the one two years before when Chris and I had loaded up the car and driven our daughter down to college, down to Blacksburg.<\/p>\n<p>Out of the blue, those words of Caitlin\u2019s sounded in my head. <em>Nothing can happen that you and I can\u2019t handle together.<\/em> But this time they were being said to me.<\/p>\n<p>And all at once, as deeply as the sun\u2019s warmth penetrated the earth, those words penetrated me. Deep in my bones I believed them now too. I knew with utter conviction that I would see my daughter again. Her smile. Her voice. The smell of her hair.<\/p>\n<p><em>Lord,<\/em> I prayed, <em>I don\u2019t understand Caitlin\u2019s death. I\u2019m pretty sure I never will. But I do know that you\u2019re here with me. I know you now. I had to get to you before I got to Caitlin. And because I do know you\u2014because you\u2019re present in my life\u2014I know that Caitlin is here with me too.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Caitlin\u2019s passing had brought me out of my old world and into a new one. A world where things can go wrong\u2014more wrong than I\u2019d ever imagined they could. But with the Lord\u2019s help, there was nothing\u2014absolutely nothing\u2014that could happen to me that I couldn\u2019t get through.<\/p>\n<p>How do I know? Caitlin told me. She\u2019d left me a message after all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I received the last text message from my daughter, Caitlin, on April 15, 2007. Caitlin was a sophomore in college and we always stayed in touch. I remember being both thrilled and a little heartsick that August day two and a half years before, when my husband, Chris, and I drove her down from upstate [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":29317,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[376],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[1147],"class_list":["post-21323","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-managing-life-changes"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v26.6 (Yoast SEO v27.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Comforted by the Words of a Departed Daughter - Guideposts Articles<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Comforted by the Words of a Departed Daughter\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I received the last text message from my daughter, Caitlin, on April 15, 2007. 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