{"id":21331,"date":"2026-03-11T10:57:07","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T10:57:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/control\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:11:56","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:11:56","slug":"control","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/coping-with-illness\/control\/","title":{"rendered":"Supernatural Self-Control"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Honey, I&#8217;m home,&#8221; Joey, my husband, called from the front door. I left the pot of spaghetti bubbling on the stove and went to greet him. First thing he did was reach out his arms to give me a hug. But instead of hugging back, I pulled away self-consciously.<\/p>\n<p>How could I explain to him how embarrassed I was that his arms could barely get around my body? A look of hurt came across his face. I turned and ran back into the kitchen to finish making dinner. <em>How can he possibly love me when I look like this?<\/em> I thought.<\/p>\n<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ada4f91 e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"ada4f91\" data-element_type=\"container\" id=\"home-banner-stn\">\n<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-72e6e8eb elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"72e6e8eb\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Community Newsletter<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-261bcec elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"261bcec\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Get More Inspiration Delivered to Your Inbox<\/h3>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9787b46 elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget-mobile__width-inherit elementor-widget elementor-widget-wp-widget-ninja_forms_widget\" data-id=\"9787b46\" data-element_type=\"widget\" id=\"front-banner-signup\" data-widget_type=\"wp-widget-ninja_forms_widget.default\">\n<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<noscript class=\"ninja-forms-noscript-message\"><br \/>\n\tNotice: JavaScript is required for this content.<\/noscript><\/p>\n<style>\n<p>        \/* FORM STYLES *\/<\/p>\n<p>        #nf-form-5-cont {\n                                    background-color:#ffffff;\n                                                    border-radius:35px;\n-webkit-border-radius:35px;                    }\n    <\/style>\n<style>\n<p>        \/* FIELDS STYLES *\/<\/p>\n<p>        .nf-form-content .nf-field-container #nf-field-27-wrap {\n                                            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\/>\n                <script id=\"nf-tmpl-cell\" type=\"text\/template\">\n            <nf-fields><\/nf-fields>\n        <\/script><\/p>\n<p>        <script id=\"nf-tmpl-row\" type=\"text\/template\">\n            <nf-cells><\/nf-cells>\n        <\/script><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>We ate dinner in silence in front of the TV. After a plate of spaghetti, I still felt empty. I went back for seconds and added two pieces of bread slathered with butter and wolfed it down. I was full, but the strange thing was I didn&#8217;t feel satisfied. I needed something sweet.<\/p>\n<p>I went back into the kitchen and ate a doughnut, then another, and another, until I felt as if I&#8217;d burst. Finally, I could stop eating. Now came the guilt. <em>Why was I doing this to myself? <\/em>Quickly I washed the dishes, cleaned the kitchen and got ready for bed.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s when the emptiness hit me. Not so much physical but spiritual, a hollow ache deep inside that nothing seemed to fill. I sank down on the edge of the bed and stared at my reflection in the dresser mirror. The mattress sagged under my weight.<\/p>\n<p>I looked blown up like a balloon. Where had I disappeared to behind all that fat? &#8220;I hate you,&#8221; I whispered to my reflection.<\/p>\n<p>I hadn&#8217;t always been heavy. But when I was 13, my parents&#8217; bickering was pushing them closer toward divorce. There was always a lot of strife around the dinner table, and I&#8217;d eat until my stomach ached to try and drown it out.<\/p>\n<p>In high school, I kept my weight down by exercising and dancing. I loved to dance. In fact, it was one night while on the dance floor at a local club that I met a nice guy with deep brown eyes and a friendly smile\u2014Joey.<\/p>\n<p>We were married exactly a year later and before long I gave birth to our son, Joshua.<\/p>\n<p>Joshua was a joy, but after the pregnancy, I fell ill with an infection and couldn&#8217;t get any exercise. Joey had to work double shifts and came home late at night. All day I found myself alone in a tiny duplex with a baby to care for.<\/p>\n<p>The only pleasure I had was the nearby bakery and their cheap powdered doughnuts and cinnamon twirls. I&#8217;d plop down on the couch and snack in front of the TV until Joey got back from work.<\/p>\n<p>When I couldn&#8217;t fit into any of my old clothes, I went out and bought some big stretchy cotton pants and blouses that reached way down over my hips. Eventually, I was wearing a size 28. I was too big and tired to even get down on the floor and play with Joshua anymore.<\/p>\n<p>Believe me, I knew it was a problem. I tried every diet out there. I lost 40 pounds on a strict regimen, counting and weighing everything I ate. Soon as I went off it, I gained everything back.<\/p>\n<p>The bathroom scale was my guilty conscience. I read articles and books, but nothing worked. I tried fad diets, like eating nothing but awful cabbage soup. That one lasted a week. Eventually, I just gave up. It was no use. I never went near a scale again.<\/p>\n<p>Now I was sitting on the edge of my bed staring into the mirror at a woman I barely recognized. Tears rolled down my face. Desperately\u2014but not for the first time\u2014I cried out to God, &#8220;Please help me lose weight.&#8221; But how was God suddenly going to make me stop eating myself to death?<\/p>\n<p>I felt powerless over my eating patterns, my food binges. Why would God help me if I couldn&#8217;t help myself?<\/p>\n<p><!--pagebreak--><\/p>\n<p>A few days later, I saw a notice in the church bulletin about a class called &#8220;Put the Past Behind You.&#8221; I thought about how my parents&#8217; divorce had helped set off my bad eating habits. I felt so desperate I was ready to try anything. &#8220;I want to go,&#8221; I told Joey. &#8220;I&#8217;ll go with you,&#8221; he said.<\/p>\n<p>In that first session, the class leader talked about prayer. &#8220;You can fill your life with prayer instead of regrets,&#8221; he said. He was right. I held on to my regrets and resentments, reliving my parents&#8217; divorce. And just as I did then, I ate to fight those feelings.<\/p>\n<p>It was like I was stuck at that dinner table when I was 13, stuffing down my feelings with food. Now I closed my eyes. I prayed to put the pain behind me. When I opened my eyes again, I felt better. &#8220;Maybe I&#8217;ll come back,&#8221; I told Joey when the class was over.<\/p>\n<p>We went every week for nine months. A lot of times I felt like I&#8217;d made a real breakthrough and came home feeling relieved of my regrets. But other times I dragged myself home feeling sadder than ever.<\/p>\n<p>One night, I walked straight into the kitchen, tore open a package of cinnamon twirls and poured a large glass of milk. It was hopeless. I was never going to change. <em>Not even God can help me,<\/em> I thought. But as I bit into the second cinnamon twirl, a question suddenly popped into my head.<\/p>\n<p>Am I really hungry? Or am I eating because I feel empty inside and frustrated? Then, suddenly, I threw the half-eaten cinnamon twirl into the trash and poured the rest of the milk back into the carton. Even as I did it I felt strange, as if it wasn&#8217;t really me pouring the milk.<\/p>\n<p>Later that week at church, a woman asked if I wanted to be on the prayer team for a women&#8217;s weekend retreat. I hesitated. <em>They really want someone like me?<\/em> I wondered. I said yes. I don&#8217;t know why. I just did.<\/p>\n<p>But then I found out we&#8217;d be sleeping in bunk beds. &#8220;I&#8217;ll just die if they put me in the top bunk,&#8221; I said to Joey.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t worry, Katrina,&#8221; Joey said. &#8220;Something made you say yes. Now, you just have to trust that feeling. That&#8217;s what our class is all about: trust.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The group leader asked us each to write a letter to God telling what we&#8217;d like to see him do for us on the retreat. I turned to the Bible looking for some inspiration. That&#8217;s when I came to the passage in Galatians about the fruits of the spirit. Love, joy, faithfulness\u2026and self-control.<\/p>\n<p><em>Y<\/em><em>es,<\/em> I thought. <em>There&#8217;s what I really need.<\/em> Not just a little self-control, but a lot of it. In big, clear, bold letters I wrote on my paper, &#8220;I need supernatural self-control.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Something happened at that retreat camp. I didn&#8217;t go for a second helping at dinner. Late at night, the time when I usually would have a &#8220;snack,&#8221; I didn&#8217;t feel any cravings. I didn&#8217;t stay up thinking about food. I just drifted off to sleep (on a lower bunk, thankfully).<\/p>\n<p>I felt an extraordinary peace that I hadn&#8217;t felt in ages, maybe ever. But it wouldn&#8217;t last, I figured. Not when I got back to my routine.<\/p>\n<p>My first night home, I fixed up a nice fried chicken dinner with mashed potatoes and gravy for myself, Joey and Joshua. After a few bites, I heard a voice in my head, absolutely clear and direct, <em>That&#8217;s enough. Put it away. Now.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>The thought startled me. I stood, picked up my plate and started walking back toward the kitchen. &#8220;Forget something?&#8221; Joey asked. &#8220;No,&#8221; I said with a shrug. &#8220;I&#8217;m just&#8230;not that hungry.&#8221; I took out some plastic wrap, covered the plate and put it into the refrigerator. <em>I&#8217;ll just have it later tonight.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><!--pagebreak--><\/p>\n<p>Then I went back into the living room. It wasn&#8217;t until the next morning when I saw the untouched plate of fried chicken that I realized I hadn&#8217;t gone back and finished it. I couldn&#8217;t explain it.<\/p>\n<p>One rainy afternoon I went to the cupboard to get some potato chips. <em>Are you hungry or are you eating because you feel lonely and bored?<\/em> the voice demanded. I closed the cupboard door and instead bowed my head in prayer, asking for strength. It worked. I skipped the chips.<\/p>\n<p>At dinner, I was halfway through my usual hefty helping of macaroni and cheese when the voice said, <em>That&#8217;s enough. <\/em>Every time my self-control was about to give way, I heard a voice. Was it some inner urging I never knew I had or something more?<\/p>\n<p>All I knew was that my eating habits were changing. Dramatically. More amazing, though, were my feelings. When I stopped stuffing them they made their way to the surface and I was able to face them without fear, without hurt, and finally let them go.<\/p>\n<p>My clothes got looser. I explained over and over again to people that I wasn&#8217;t exactly on a diet; I was eating all the foods I normally ate and liked. But instead of drowning myself in food, I was listening to what God was directing me to do about my eating decisions.<\/p>\n<p>Energy returned too. Why not start dancing again? So I danced in my living room for about 10 to 20 minutes a few times a week. <em>Do more.<\/em> I bought a 30-minute aerobic workout tape. People actually complimented my looks.<\/p>\n<p>Soon, I felt confident enough to jog around the neighborhood. My friend told me about a 10K road race she was running. Did I want to try it? <em>Try it.<\/em> I had to walk for some of it, but I finished.<\/p>\n<p>The one thing left to face was that dreaded scale. It took me quite a bit of courage to get on it. I closed my eyes. Finally, I looked down. The needle stayed right below 160! I gaped at the number. I had lost nearly 150 pounds!<\/p>\n<p>No wonder I felt so light. No wonder I ran into Joey&#8217;s arms at night. But the weight I lost was not simply physical. It was the weight of the past, of unresolved regrets that only a higher power can relieve us of, a God whose arms are big enough to wrap around anyone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Honey, I&#8217;m home,&#8221; Joey, my husband, called from the front door. I left the pot of spaghetti bubbling on the stove and went to greet him. First thing he did was reach out his arms to give me a hug. But instead of hugging back, I pulled away self-consciously. How could I explain to him [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":29321,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[360],"tags":[189,44,49,372],"ppma_author":[1145],"class_list":["post-21331","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coping-with-illness","tag-church","tag-courage","tag-peace","tag-weight-loss"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v26.6 (Yoast SEO v27.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Supernatural Self-Control - Guideposts Articles<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Supernatural Self-Control\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"&#8220;Honey, I&#8217;m home,&#8221; Joey, my husband, called from the front door. 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