{"id":21702,"date":"2026-03-11T11:37:45","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T11:37:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/his-caregiving-journey-led-him-on-a-path-of-spiritual-growth\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:12:43","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:12:43","slug":"his-caregiving-journey-led-him-on-a-path-of-spiritual-growth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/caregiving\/hope-and-inspiration\/stories-of-hope-for-caregivers\/his-caregiving-journey-led-him-on-a-path-of-spiritual-growth\/","title":{"rendered":"His Caregiving Journey Led Him on a Path of Spiritual Growth"},"content":{"rendered":"

For five years, I\u2019d been dealing with the fears as best as I could: prayers, books, Scripture, retreats, talking to people. Now I was at the end of my rope. I had to do something, something different, even if it meant traveling halfway around the world. I wanted to meet the one person whose words had made the biggest difference. For both my wife and me.<\/p>\n

Martha had been 50 years old when she got the diagnosis, devastating both of us: early-onset Alzheimer\u2019s<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Martha had always been a force of nature, her energy level twice mine. \u201cWhat\u2019s next?\u201d was her response to any challenge, whether it was raising our three children or working with me at the magazine I\u2019d started or serving on the St. Petersburg city council. Then in 1997, something went wrong. There was a creeping listlessness about her, a blank look on her face, the inability to remember something I\u2019d just asked her. She laughed less and less and was checking off fewer items on her to-do list.<\/p>\n

At my urging, she made an appointment with a neurologist but walked out before even meeting with him. \u201cI got tired of waiting\u201d was all she would say. The second time around, I went with her and sat in the waiting room while she went through a battery of psychological and memory tests. The weeks crept by as we waited for the results. I already feared the worst.<\/p>\n

Still, hearing the doctor say \u201cAlzheimer\u2019s\u201d was a shock, even if it wasn\u2019t a surprise.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure?\u201d I said, my question unconvincing even to me.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s no mistake,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

A disease that steals your memories, your personality, everything that makes you who you are\u2026how were we going to get through the years ahead?<\/p>\n

We talked to our Presbyterian minister, the man who\u2019d married us and baptized our kids. His usual booming voice became hushed. Tears crept down his face\u2014I\u2019d never seen him cry. He had one suggestion: that we go on a retreat with the Catholic Sisters of Loretto in Kentucky. There was one nun in particular he felt we should talk to: Sister Elaine. \u201cI\u2019ve never met another person with Elaine\u2019s gift for discernment,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

So began our spiritual journey, one set out on in desperation. At the retreat house, Martha kept practicing responses to all the diagnostic questions that had stumped her. What was her birthday? What was today\u2019s date? Who was president? Could she count backwards from 100 by sevens? As though, by memorizing the answers, she could reverse her fate. Her struggle broke my heart.<\/p>\n

We told our youngest daughter first. She was a junior in high school and still living at home. She\u2019d noticed the signs. Our other two were away at college, and we made a trip to see them both. The four of us cried together.<\/p>\n

I kept focused on the internal work I needed to do to get through the day, what Sister Elaine had told me at the retreat: \u201cYour main calling at this time is to trust that you belong to God and not to yourselves. And to deepen your love for God<\/a> and between yourselves.\u201d<\/p>\n

I took over more and more of the household chores. Food shopping, getting breakfast ready, figuring out what to make for dinner before I headed to work. We managed okay for a while. Martha took an art class with her sister-in-law, painting watercolors. I carved out some dedicated prayer time, trying to do what Sister Elaine had said.<\/p>\n

Then one day, Martha\u2019s art teacher called me at the office. \u201cCarlen, Martha walked out of the art class.\u201d Where had she gone? She could be anywhere. I got in the elevator and stepped out into the lobby of my office building. Just in time to see Martha walk in the door.<\/p>\n

After that I had to hire caregivers to watch over her when I wasn\u2019t there. Our older children\u2014now graduated from college and living on their own\u2014came up with a plan to take over one weekend a month, giving me precious time off. They\u2019d help Martha dress, take her out to eat, go for walks, see a movie, visit friends. Meanwhile I\u2019d go off on a retreat, to vent and seek solitude.<\/p>\n

I read all I could about how faith could heal, not just for Martha but for me. The small Tennessee town where I\u2019d grown up saw its share of tent revivalists and faith healers. They were expert at two things\u2014shaking fear into <\/em>you and shaking money out of <\/em>you. But the people I read now were different, credible. In particular I was drawn to Canon Jim Glennon, an Anglican priest from Australia and a spiritual healer. I read his book Your Healing Is Within You <\/em>and listened to all his tapes.<\/p>\n

One thing he suggested was turning physically away from fear, rotating your body 180 degrees from the fearful thoughts. I\u2019d do it at my desk at work or at home. Sometimes I did it so much it actually made me dizzy. If only it banished my fear.<\/p>\n

I got Jim\u2019s number and called him in Australia. \u201cI\u2019m enjoying your book and tapes,\u201d I told him. \u201cBut I\u2019ve got to tell you I\u2019m scared. Really scared.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe all get scared,\u201d Jim replied. \u201cThat\u2019s not the issue. The issue really is what we do with the fear<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n

Martha and I had met back when we were in college. We connected again when I was coaching football and teaching at a high school in Atlanta and she\u2019d just moved there to work at a different school. After helping her unload her things at her new apartment, I asked very casually\u2014hoping against hope\u2014if she wanted to come with me to scout a football game and then \u201cgrab something to eat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, thanks,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

I did a double take.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay\u2026well, then, can I come by and see you after the game is over, Martha?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, that\u2019d be great.\u201d<\/p>\n

I got in my car and sat there for a minute, then went back to her apartment, knocked and asked, \u201cOut of curiosity, if I\u2019d asked you to the downtown Hyatt for dinner tonight, would you have gone with me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course,\u201d she said, her blue eyes dancing. I laughed. This was a woman who knew her mind.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just needed to know what the rules are,\u201d I said. Martha and I got married 10 months later.<\/p>\n

Now, five years since the diagnosis, that sharp woman I\u2019d loved for 30 years, who knew exactly what she wanted, was gone. She resisted my help every step of the way. It took me forever to get her dressed in the mornings. On our evening walks, she literally dragged her heels. I would have to pull her, step by step. Is there any part of her left to love me or for me to love? <\/em>I wondered.<\/p>\n

I listened to Jim\u2019s tapes over and over, but it wasn\u2019t enough. I decided I needed to see him face-to-face. I called him, telling him I wanted to come to Australia. I arranged for the kids and caregivers to be with Martha. For a week. The longest we\u2019d ever been apart.<\/p>\n

I got off the plane in Sydney, picked up my bag and caught a taxi to the retreat center where Jim worked. Jim left a note saying he would meet me at 10 o\u2019clock the next morning. I showered and fell fast asleep, jet-lagged.<\/p>\n

I ate breakfast with a handful of guests and staff, then waited for Jim in a large drawing room. The door opened and he entered. I\u2019d seen pictures of him, but they didn\u2019t come close to conveying the presence that filled the room. We both sat down. \u201cWhy have you come?\u201d Jim asked.<\/p>\n

I thought I\u2019d made it clear on the phone. I needed healing from the worry and pain. I fumbled for an answer. Jim said nothing. There was silence. And more silence. I found it hard to catch his eye. Maybe it\u2019s his age, <\/em>I thought. He was 82, of my parents\u2019 generation. Finally he broke the silence, launching into a story about a couple whose young daughter had a severe case of scoliosis. Severe scoliosis can be disabling, causing heart and lung damage. The doctors said that her prospect for growing into adulthood was dismal.<\/p>\n

They went to their pastor, looking for a healing ministry, and found nothing. They decided to study the New Testament, highlighting all of Jesus\u2019 healings. They began to focus their prayers and thoughts on God\u2019s gifts and promises rather than on their daughter\u2019s problems. When Jim met the couple many years later, their daughter had grown into adulthood, her spine fully straightened.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve already heard this story, <\/em>I thought. In fact, I must have already heard it half a dozen times on his tapes. \u201cWhy ask for what you\u2019ve got?\u201d Jim would say, just as he said to me now. The healing that the girl\u2019s family needed was there all along. Sure\u2026but wasn\u2019t there some fresh insight he could share? I waited all week. In the meanwhile, Jim was both spiritual guide and tour director. He showed me Sydney\u2019s iconic opera house and its fabled surfing beaches. He arranged for me to meet with friends of his who\u2019d been healed in their own right. He sat back and listened as they talked.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you\u2019re fighting with your problems,\u201d he emphasized, \u201cyou\u2019re already on the losing side.\u201d I was reminded of all my wrestling with Martha\u2019s symptoms and the fear they engendered.<\/p>\n

On my last day in Sydney, I was stirred awake early in the morning. I found myself praying the Lord\u2019s Prayer: \u201cOur Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name\u2026\u201d Something jarred me. In my mind\u2019s eye, I saw God step down from his throne in heaven and unfurl a tent over me. It covered my dear Martha, our children and me. But it was more than a tent. It was as though God was unfurling his name over us. We were protected; we were his.<\/em><\/p>\n

Back home in St. Petersburg, things were different. Martha began to relax during our short evening walks, holding my hand. Changing her into her nightgown was no longer a wrestling match. An empathy that I thought she had lost for good returned. \u201cI love you, Martha,\u201d I told her. She looked in my eyes and said without hesitation, \u201cI love you too.\u201d Was it my change in attitude that had changed her? I couldn\u2019t be sure, but I knew the fear had faded.<\/p>\n

Martha stayed in our home for another six years and then entered a nursing home. I visited her there almost every day. I know people wondered: Why see her when she can\u2019t walk, can\u2019t talk, can\u2019t feed herself, rarely recognized me? \u201cBecause Martha is still the woman I love and our children\u2019s mother\u201d would be my response.<\/p>\n

I would sit beside her and take her hand, which I\u2019d often find clenched into a fist. I\u2019d envision Christ spreading his cloak over us. A stillness from somewhere beyond Martha and me would descend upon us. The tension in Martha\u2019s body would relax. My heart and my mind too would settle. And our hands would soften and gentle within each other\u2019s.<\/p>\n

Martha died in 2014\u201416 years, nine months and one week after she was diagnosed. She was 66 years old. In the viewing room at the funeral home, I sat beside her one last time, held her hand as I had so often before and said the Lord\u2019s Prayer\u2014\u201challowed be thy name.\u201d Once more I sensed the tent that covered us. It had always been there. For Martha, the children and me.<\/p>\n

For more inspiring stories, subscribe to <\/em>Guideposts<\/strong><\/a> magazine<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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