{"id":21890,"date":"2026-03-11T11:58:50","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T11:58:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/how-to-add-humor-to-your-caregiving-routine\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:13:08","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:13:08","slug":"how-to-add-humor-to-your-caregiving-routine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/caregiving\/family-caregiving\/advice-for-caregivers\/how-to-add-humor-to-your-caregiving-routine\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Add Humor to Your Caregiving Routine"},"content":{"rendered":"

Something changed about a year after Dani Klein Modisett moved her mother to a new senior residence in Los Angeles.<\/p>\n

In spite of the fact that her mom was living with Alzheimer\u2019s, she\u2019d adjusted fine to the move from her longtime home in New York City. Then her spirits seemed to flag and she disconnected from others, including her own daughter.<\/p>\n

Modisett took a novel approach to the challenge: she phoned a comic.<\/p>\n

Her response may have been a little different, but it wasn\u2019t off the wall, given that Modisett herself had spent years as a professional comedian. She had an overriding desire to make her mother laugh, and it worked. The caring comedian she found, hit it off almost instantly with her mom and the two spent a few hours together each week, joking around and just generally relating<\/a>. The effects were transformative.<\/p>\n

The success of that shot in the dark led to Laughter on Call<\/a>, the company Modisett founded as a way to use comedy to bring people together, especially in tough circumstances.<\/p>\n

That includes caregivers and their older loved ones who have dementia or other chronic conditions. In addition to providing \u201copen-hearted, warm and loving\u201d comedians (currently via Zoom) to people who need a bit of levity, Laughter on Call also focuses on self-care for caregivers and helps them to bring humor into the caregiving situation<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you can keep yourself joyful or energized and healthy, that\u2019s what you\u2019re bringing to the caregiving,\u201d Modisett said. \u201cIt\u2019s not only important for your own well-being and your own sense of burnout, but for the person that you\u2019re caring for.\u201d That can mean anything from laughing to learning conscious breathing, to finding ways to take breaks. <\/p>\n

The type of comedy that works for people with Alzheimer\u2019s is what Modisett calls \u201chumor from your humanity.\u201d No sarcasm, no witty repartee, no current events. It\u2019s broad\u2014exaggerated. <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve got to be willing to be silly,\u201d she said. \u201cBut all laughter is good. It raises endorphins, brings more oxygen to the lungs, exercises facial muscles, there\u2019s a serotonin release<\/a>. Just on a purely physical level it has value.\u201d There\u2019s another important aspect, however, to injecting humor into the caregiving relationship. \u201cWhen you have shared laughter, it\u2019s evidence of connection,\u201d said Modisett, whose mother died last year, having bonded with more than one of the comedians her daughter brought her way. \u201cWhen you can laugh with someone, you have a certain bond, and that is more than most people do with the Alzheimer\u2019s community. People don\u2019t want to see it because it\u2019s hard.\u201d<\/p>\n

As was the case with Modisett and her mom, it\u2019s sometimes difficult for people with Alzheimer\u2019s to connect with those who are close to them, while it can be easier to do so with others.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe person with the disease has a very heightened sensitivity,\u201d Modisett said. \u201cIf there\u2019s something about you that\u2019s familiar that they can\u2019t place, that creates frustration.\u201d And connection goes beyond humor. \u201cI am primarily about cognitive engagement,\u201d she said. \u201cI call it Laughter on Call because Cognitive Engagement on Call is not fun.\u201d<\/p>\n

To that end, Modisett has developed a set of caregiving tools she calls BHILATYS<\/em>. She offered the following tips to help you forge better connections with a loved one who has dementia:<\/p>\n

B \u2014 Breath<\/strong><\/p>\n

“Taking the time for conscious breathing, even just one, can make a difference in your day. Taking a deep breath not only brings more oxygen to your lungs, it\u2019s gives you a pause before reacting under stress and helps with responding with patience,” Modisett said. “I call this tool the first building block of self-care.” <\/p>\n

H \u2014 Honesty<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cBe willing to be honest,” Modisett said. “I observed many people in my mother\u2019s community who would be like, \u2018Oh hi, mom, you look great! Isn\u2019t it great, it\u2019s so great!\u2019 Not being in the moment, not being truthful, not really meeting the person where they are. You see this a lot in Alzheimer\u2019s care. Meet the person where they are.\u201d<\/p>\n

I \u2014 Imperfect<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cImperfect is great. My father died of cancer 20-something years ago, and everybody was there the day before, reading to him. Then my mother got Alzheimer\u2019s and in two, maybe three, months, she was down to one friend. Some of it was, \u2018I\u2019ll just remember her the way she was.\u2019 There were also people who just didn\u2019t know what to do and they were afraid they wouldn\u2019t do it right,” she said. “It wasn\u2019t going to be perfect, so they didn\u2019t come at all. If you show up, you\u2019re 12 steps ahead of most people.\u201d<\/p>\n

L \u2014 Let go of the moment before<\/strong><\/p>\n

Moods of people with Alzheimer\u2019s tend to be mercurial and impulsive, Modisett said. One moment, your loved one may be angry and upset and the next moment is making silly sounds and waving to people. If you remain invested in the earlier moment, you miss the next one. Meditation can help to let go of thoughts you may be stuck in. <\/p>\n

A \u2014 Appreciate<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s always time to say, \u2018I love you, and I appreciate the opportunity to care for you, or I appreciate X …\u2019 The hardest one for people is appreciating themselves,” Modisett said. ” So, I have people write a letter, \u2018Dear Me, what I love about you is \u2026\u2019 Then take the time to read that letter.\u201d<\/p>\n

T \u2014 Timing<\/strong><\/p>\n

Understand the difference between macro-timing and micro-timing. \u201cMacro is, \u2018When do we take the keys away?\u2019 or \u2018When do we get help …?\u2019 Then there\u2019s the micro of the day: \u2018When do we eat lunch?\u2019 \u2018When is a good time to bathe?\u2019 \u2018When\u2019s a good time for visitors, so she doesn\u2019t get frustrated? Definitely not after 4.\u2019 Things like that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Y \u2014Yes, and \u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t argue with anybody in memory decline,” Modisett said. “You\u2019re never going to win. You\u2019re just going to frustrate yourself. So, it\u2019s kind of, \u2018Yes and yes, and we try this [instead].”<\/p>\n

S \u2014 Silly<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t be afraid to be silly. At Laughter on Call, we put on music, we dance, we make a funny face,” Modisett added. “Even people in end stage Alzheimer\u2019s can mirror the face back. So, communicate physically with a voice or something that connects with them, and they do it back. That\u2019s something we really believed in and pursued, rather than this, \u2018Well, I don\u2019t\u2019 know, he\u2019s gone, what\u2019s the point?\u2019 They hear you! They\u2019re in there!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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