{"id":21910,"date":"2026-03-11T12:01:25","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T12:01:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/how-to-cope-when-a-what-if-actually-happens\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:13:11","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:13:11","slug":"how-to-cope-when-a-what-if-actually-happens","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/life-advice\/managing-life-changes\/how-to-cope-when-a-what-if-actually-happens\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Cope When a \u2018What If\u2026\u2019 Actually Happens"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>My husband and I often joke about how grateful we are that <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/10-one-minute-stress-busters\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">we stress out about different things<\/a> in life. If there\u2019s car trouble, he goes into high-stress mode, but I keep my cool and easily step into problem-solving.<\/p>\n<p>Coping with a here-and-now problem is my strength. My challenge is when the problem hasn\u2019t happened yet, when it lives in the <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/daily_devotional\/what-if-something-happens-to-you\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">dreaded, amorphous space of \u201cwhat if\u2026.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Luckily for my marriage (and my life), my husband is skilled in helping me grow in this area, like helping me prepare for a trip without spiraling into over-packing because of \u201cwhat ifs\u201d that range from weather to<a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/?p=32971\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> a missed flight.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>But in areas both banal (like a trip) and enormous (like, God forbid, a catastrophe or tragedy), sometimes the \u201cwhat if\u201d worry actually comes to pass. When it does, we\u2014especially those of us who have overactive catastrophic imaginations\u2014can feel unstable and deeply shaken. <\/p>\n<p>We all need skills at our disposal to find our feet and cope with as much grace and calm as possible <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/prayer\/how-to-pray\/how-to-pray-in-the-aftermath-of-a-tragic-loss\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">when a dreaded thing happens.<\/a> Here are three that help me:<\/p>\n<p><strong>1)  Call the Anxiety What It Is<\/strong><br \/>\nRecently, our 11-year-old son contracted Covid-19. As it turned out, he also tested positive for strep throat, and the next week was a whirl of antibiotics (for the strep), too much screen time (for him) and getting used to masking in our own home (for all of us). <\/p>\n<p>A couple of days in, once the most acute symptoms had passed, I remarked to my husband that I palpably felt my stress level easing. I recognized that I was shifting from \u201cwhat if\u2026\u201d into \u201chere-and-now\u201d problem-solving. Articulating aloud the anxiety of Covid-anticipation helped me <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/life-advice\/8-tools-to-help-you-combat-anxiety\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">feel calmer and freer<\/a> going forward.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2)  Repeat After Me: \u201cI Don\u2019t Like This, But I Can Handle It.\u201d<\/strong><br \/>\nThis phrase, which I learned years ago from a therapist, has been a star in the constellation of my anxiety management strategies. When a dreaded something happens, it\u2019s very calming to give yourself permission to be upset, frustrated, afraid or angry\u2014while also reassuring yourself that you can and will find a way through whatever the moment is challenging you to do. This is an example of <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/friends-and-family\/friends\/3-ways-to-be-an-authentically-positive-friend\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">an authentically positive outlook,<\/a> because you are not denying what\u2019s hard, you are encouraging yourself to handle the tough stuff.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3)  Think Accurately<\/strong><br \/>\nA classic mistake that anxious minds make (particularly those of us who tend toward \u201cwhat if\u201d thinking) is to over-estimate the likelihood that an imagined challenge will actually happen. <\/p>\n<p>When something in that category <em>does<\/em> come to pass, that can tempt us toward feeling we were right to fret, confirming our suspicions\u2014and somehow leaving us thinking that worrying will protect or even prepare us from the hard things in life. <\/p>\n<p>Especially just after you\u2019ve faced a worried-about-but-unexpected challenge, take the time to look carefully at your thinking about other areas of concern in your life. Are you thinking accurately? Are you spending too much time \u201cworking\u201d on solving a problem that may or may not happen? Even if the answer is yes, you will empower yourself simply by noticing your tendencies and <a href=\"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/inspiring-stories\/how-to-reduce-anxiety-and-find-calm-in-any-circumstance\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">encouraging your thoughts back toward accuracy and clarity.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Are you a \u201cwhat if\u201d thinker? How do you handle it when something you were worried about actually happens?<\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My husband and I often joke about how grateful we are that we stress out about different things in life. If there\u2019s car trouble, he goes into high-stress mode, but I keep my cool and easily step into problem-solving. Coping with a here-and-now problem is my strength. My challenge is when the problem hasn\u2019t happened [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":97,"featured_media":29602,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[377,376],"tags":[44,242,178,32,78,41,59],"ppma_author":[490],"class_list":["post-21910","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-emotional-and-mental-health","category-managing-life-changes","tag-courage","tag-covid","tag-covid-inspiration","tag-strength","tag-stress","tag-wisdom","tag-worry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v26.6 (Yoast SEO v27.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to Cope When a \u2018What If\u2026\u2019 Actually Happens - Guideposts Articles<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Cope When a \u2018What If\u2026\u2019 Actually Happens\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"My husband and I often joke about how grateful we are that we stress out about different things in life. 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