{"id":22496,"date":"2026-03-11T13:05:39","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T13:05:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/she-was-inspired-by-her-husbands-positivity-while-dealing-with-cancer\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:14:21","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:14:21","slug":"she-was-inspired-by-her-husbands-positivity-while-dealing-with-cancer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/living-with-cancer\/she-was-inspired-by-her-husbands-positivity-while-dealing-with-cancer\/","title":{"rendered":"She Was Inspired by Her Husband’s Positivity While Dealing with Cancer"},"content":{"rendered":"

My husband, Roger, and I sat in his doctor\u2019s office, wait\u00ading to hear the results of the biopsy of his left calf. \u201cI\u2019m afraid it\u2019s Stage IV metastatic melanoma<\/a>,\u201d the doctor said.<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve been married two months! <\/em>I wanted to shout. He\u2019s only 58! <\/em>This was a second marriage<\/a> for us both. God was giving us a second chance for happiness. Or so I thought.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s our next step?\u201d Roger said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll keep you comfortable for the six months you probably have left,\u201d the doctor said.<\/p>\n

The words shocked me to my core, even though Roger had already had dozens of lesions removed from his skin. He\u2019d spent most of his life in the sun, due to construction work and water sports. While we were dating, he went through a year of chemo for melanoma in the lymph nodes in his neck.<\/p>\n

Some of my friends encouraged me to break off the relationship. \u201cYou don\u2019t know what you\u2019re getting your\u00adself into,\u201d they warned. \u201cHe\u2019ll become an invalid, and then where will you be? He might even die.\u201d<\/p>\n

I worried. But Roger seemed to brush off the idea of dying, and that had given me a sense of security<\/a>.<\/p>\n

That security was gone now. When my first husband had left, I felt aban\u00addoned. This diagnosis wasn\u2019t Roger\u2019s fault, but it felt like another form of abandonment<\/a>. I pictured myself alone in a matter of months, handling his fu\u00adneral arrangements. I immediately be\u00adgan putting up walls around my heart. Maybe then it wouldn\u2019t hurt so much when he died.<\/p>\n

Roger\u2019s oncologist told us about a Phase 2 clinical trial going on at Hill\u00adman Cancer Center in Pittsburgh, about a four-hour drive from our home in Hurricane, West Virginia. It was our only hope. Roger enrolled in the study. Still, the doctors there gave him a two percent chance of survival.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s all I need,\u201d Roger said. \u201cI\u2019ll be in that two percent.\u201d<\/p>\n

He and 37 other patients started the clinical trial<\/a> together. Each received an experimental drug along with dai\u00adly IV chemo treatments. The infusions left Roger shaking, running a high fever and unable to keep down any food. He even had to lean on me as we made the short walk to the place where we were staying.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you want anything?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, just get me to the bed,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

I felt helpless to do more for Roger and questioned whether I had it in me to be the caregiver he needed<\/a>.<\/p>\n

At the end of his year-long treat\u00adment, only one other patient in the study remained alive. Roger\u2019s next scan showed a suspicious spot on his right lung. He wasn\u2019t fazed. \u201cI believe I\u2019m still alive because God has his hand on me every day,\u201d he declared.<\/p>\n

Roger\u2019s unshakable faith<\/a> upset me even more. How could he stay so posi\u00adtive? Didn\u2019t he care that our time to\u00adgether would be ending far too soon? Perhaps Roger didn\u2019t love me as deep\u00adly as I loved him. It seemed as if God had brought happiness into my life only to snatch it away. Had he aban\u00addoned me too?<\/p>\n

The decision was made to go in and remove the lesion. \u201cIt was melanoma, but we believe we got it all,\u201d his sur\u00adgeon said after they removed half of Roger\u2019s lung. The recovery was slow. Roger was told not to drive for six weeks, but he was anxious to get back to work as a local liaison for the state treasurer\u2019s office, so I drove him wher\u00adever he needed.<\/p>\n

I waited in the car while he visited with everyone. I tried bringing a book to pass the time, but all I could think about was Roger\u2019s cancer. Each day, I worried it would be the last time he\u2019d be able to enjoy working.<\/p>\n

One morning, Roger said, \u201cWear something nice today. I\u2019m going to take you in with me on my calls.\u201d<\/p>\n

At first, I remained quiet as I watched him interact with everyone. Roger was definitely in his element. I saw how his upbeat attitude<\/a> and sense of humor helped him turn even strangers into friends.<\/p>\n

He introduced me. It was fun meet\u00ading new people, and I found myself laughing and joining in the conversa\u00adtions, the first time I\u2019d really laughed since Roger\u2019s cancer journey had be\u00adgun. Could his positivity<\/a> be rubbing off on me?<\/p>\n

Maybe I would be happier and do a better job as a caregiver<\/a> if I tried to emulate Roger\u2019s outlook. While I\u2019d been focused on the 98 percent chance of him dying, he was concentrating on that two percent chance of surviving. And it wasn\u2019t because he didn\u2019t care about me. Roger put all his energy into living because he loved me and wanted us to make the most of our time together.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know I\u2019ve struggled with how you could be so happy through all of this,\u201d I told him. \u201cBut I think I under\u00adstand now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roger wrapped his hand around mine and squeezed. \u201cYou need to trust God<\/a>,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

He was right. I made a promise to myself to try harder. God had not abandoned me. My husband might have only a few months left, but God had put him in my life for a reason. Maybe that was what I was supposed to learn\u2014to appreciate what I have in the moment<\/a>. I thought I could do that. I hoped I could. The walls that had guarded my heart slowly began to crumble.<\/p>\n

Roger\u2019s dermatologist sees him every three months. The doctor has found and removed two squamous cell carcinomas, one on the tip of Roger\u2019s finger, the other on the side of his nose.<\/p>\n

Roger has never asked why God would allow him to endure so much. \u201cI believe it was God\u2019s plan for me to become a melanoma patient so that I could educate others about the harm\u00adful effects of the sun,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

He encourages patients entering treat\u00adment for melanoma and tries to ease their minds so they too can make it through. He\u2019s also part of an oncology collaborative practice at a local hospi\u00adtal where he represents the patient\u2019s point of view.<\/p>\n

Roger is now the sole survivor of his clinical trial. I continue to worry with every scan. My positive outlook<\/a> may still be a work in progress, but I have a wonderful teacher. My husband has been bringing me laughter and steadfast faith for 13 years now. What\u00adever the future holds, God, Roger and I will get through it together, caring for each other.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

For more inspiring stories, subscribe to <\/em>Guideposts<\/strong><\/a> magazine<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My husband, Roger, and I sat in his doctor\u2019s office, wait\u00ading to hear the results of the biopsy of his left calf. \u201cI\u2019m afraid it\u2019s Stage IV metastatic melanoma,\u201d the doctor said. We\u2019ve been married two months! I wanted to shout. He\u2019s only 58! This was a second marriage for us both. God was giving […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":29892,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[358,270,339],"tags":[66,15,16,58,27],"ppma_author":[870],"class_list":["post-22496","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family-caregiving","category-living-with-cancer","category-positive-thinking","tag-cancer","tag-faith","tag-god","tag-guideposts","tag-positive-thinking"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nShe Was Inspired by Her Husband’s Positivity While Dealing with Cancer - Guideposts Articles<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"She Was Inspired by Her Husband’s Positivity While Dealing with Cancer\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"My husband, Roger, and I sat in his doctor\u2019s office, wait\u00ading to hear the results of the biopsy of his left calf. \u201cI\u2019m afraid it\u2019s Stage IV metastatic melanoma,\u201d the doctor said. 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