{"id":22625,"date":"2026-03-11T13:19:40","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T13:19:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/the-daughter-of-the-9-11-pilot\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:14:39","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:14:39","slug":"the-daughter-of-the-9-11-pilot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/life-advice\/coping-with-grief\/the-daughter-of-the-9-11-pilot\/","title":{"rendered":"The Daughter of the 9\/11 Pilot"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I quietly closed the door of my freshman dorm room behind me at Boston College, but not before I glanced back at the photo of Dad and me. The one of me as a girl sitting on his lap in the cockpit of a 767.<\/p>\n<p><em>I wish you were here, Dad<\/em>, I thought as I walked down the hall from my room.<em> I wish you were here to help me figure all this out.<\/em><\/p>\n<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ada4f91 e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"ada4f91\" data-element_type=\"container\" id=\"home-banner-stn\">\n<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-72e6e8eb elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"72e6e8eb\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Community Newsletter<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-261bcec elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"261bcec\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n<h3 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Get More Inspiration Delivered to Your Inbox<\/h3>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9787b46 elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget-mobile__width-inherit elementor-widget elementor-widget-wp-widget-ninja_forms_widget\" data-id=\"9787b46\" data-element_type=\"widget\" id=\"front-banner-signup\" data-widget_type=\"wp-widget-ninja_forms_widget.default\">\n<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<noscript class=\"ninja-forms-noscript-message\"><br \/>\n\tNotice: JavaScript is required for this content.<\/noscript><\/p>\n<style>\n<p>        \/* FORM STYLES *\/<\/p>\n<p>        #nf-form-5-cont {\n                                    background-color:#ffffff;\n                                                    border-radius:35px;\n-webkit-border-radius:35px;                    }\n    <\/style>\n<style>\n<p>        \/* FIELDS STYLES *\/<\/p>\n<p>        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\/>\n                <script id=\"nf-tmpl-cell\" type=\"text\/template\">\n            <nf-fields><\/nf-fields>\n        <\/script><\/p>\n<p>        <script id=\"nf-tmpl-row\" type=\"text\/template\">\n            <nf-cells><\/nf-cells>\n        <\/script><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>I was glad my new roommate was still asleep. &ldquo;I&rsquo;m going to be gone tomorrow, at a family event,&rdquo; I&rsquo;d told her the night before, and she&rsquo;d thankfully been totally disinterested.<\/p>\n<p>It was as if September 11 wasn&rsquo;t even on her mind. I suppose I shouldn&rsquo;t have been surprised. Even the front page of the newspaper was focused on Hurricane Katrina.<\/p>\n<p><em>How quickly we forget<\/em>, I thought. It seemed too soon. But I&rsquo;d been glad to delay the inevitable talk with my roommate. I wasn&rsquo;t ready to see the shock in her eyes, to hear how sorry she felt for me, to be the victim&mdash;again.<\/p>\n<p>How do you tell someone that your dad was the pilot on Flight 11, the first plane that terrorists flew into the World Trade Center?<\/p>\n<p>For four years now I&rsquo;d prayed that I&rsquo;d be able to figure out where 9\/11 fit into my life. But as a freshman starting high school on that terrible day I never got a chance to introduce myself before everyone thought they knew who I was.<\/p>\n<p>I watched as kids furtively glanced at me and then quickly looked away. The &ldquo;9\/11 girl.&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>I didn&rsquo;t want to be defined by a tragedy, yet I wanted to honor Dad. He too was more than just the person he was on that terrible day. I wanted to be my own person.<\/p>\n<p>I hoped to find my identity starting college. Isn&rsquo;t that what kids are meant to do in college? Find themselves? But once again the date loomed: September 11. Now, if I was going to make a clean start, I had to get to the memorial service without anyone on campus making a big deal about it.<\/p>\n<p>Outside my dorm I spotted the car with my mother and two sisters. I jumped in so we could make the short drive to Boston&rsquo;s Public Garden.<\/p>\n<p>Slouched in the backseat, I thought about the memorial services I&rsquo;d attended in the last four years. There had been so many that they were starting to fade into one another.<\/p>\n<p>&ldquo;We will always remember,&rdquo; politicians often said. But each year there was more I couldn&rsquo;t recall. The pain was less, but even that seemed sad, in a different kind of way. <em>How am I supposed to feel? What would Dad want me to remember?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Two years ago on 9\/11 we had come to BC to dedicate a labyrinth in memory of the 22 alumni killed. Mom graduated from BC, class of &rsquo;76, so a portion of the memorial honored Dad.<\/p>\n<p>I too had picked BC by then. A speaker told how the labyrinth was a Christian symbol of the twists and turns of life&rsquo;s journey. Somehow it was comforting to know it would be there for me.<\/p>\n<p><em>God<\/em>, I prayed, <em>help me find the path to take in my life<\/em>. Yet as Mom turned into the Public Garden I felt so lost.<\/p>\n<p>We joined the hundreds of others already there. Sitting near the front I craned my neck. The crowd seemed a bit smaller each year.<\/p>\n<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m glad we&rsquo;re here,&rdquo; I told Mom. &ldquo;Already you can tell this is just another day for some people. They&rsquo;ve stopped coming. I don&rsquo;t want people to forget 9\/11&mdash;or Dad.&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>&ldquo;I understand, honey,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;But you can&rsquo;t take that burden all on yourself. Besides, there are lots of ways to honor someone.&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p><!--pagebreak--><\/p>\n<p>At 8:40 a.m. the mayor solemnly laid a wreath of remembrance. Then five minutes later we paused for a moment of silence, just as the entire world had stopped that Tuesday morning. Closing my eyes I relived the day, like I had so many times before:<\/p>\n<p>Dad leaving our 150-acre farm early, before I was awake, to pilot an 8 a.m. flight from Logan Airport to L.A&#8230;.the announcement as school was starting&#8230;a counselor coming to take me out of class&#8230;a blur&mdash;people at the house crying and hugging, the memorial services, the media&mdash;that lasted for weeks&#8230;then going back to school, my identity sealed: The Pilot&rsquo;s Daughter.<\/p>\n<p>The service ended and we walked back to the car. I heard Mom&rsquo;s words again, about finding other ways to honor Dad.<\/p>\n<p>On the drive back to the campus I said, &ldquo;It&rsquo;s funny. Most of the time when I think of Dad it&rsquo;s not about him as a pilot at all. What I see is him driving the tractor at home and playing with us kids. That&rsquo;s who he really was, a farmer and a dad.&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>&ldquo;You&rsquo;re right,&rdquo; Mom said. &ldquo;The farm is where he felt most at home. It&rsquo;s really where he felt closest to God. He loved everything about farming. He loved the feeling that he was giving something back, but he got so much out of it.&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>In front of my dorm building I gave everyone a hug, especially Mom. &ldquo;I miss Dad so much,&rdquo; I whispered to her.<\/p>\n<p>&ldquo;Me too,&rdquo; Mom said. &ldquo;He would be so proud of you.&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>Back in my room I was relieved to see my roommate was out. I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. I remembered how my father had mentored immigrant farmers, not only working with them and giving advice but sharing his land for them to grow their native crops.<\/p>\n<p>Dad, a former transport pilot in Vietnam, chose to mentor farmers from Southeast Asia. He threw himself into a federal support program for immigrant farmers, so much so that when he was killed, it was named in his honor.<\/p>\n<p>Mom was right. One of Dad&rsquo;s jobs was flying jets, but his life was about helping others. He was an amazing guy. He was so much more than just one of the hijacked pilots on 9\/11.<\/p>\n<p>I was so lost in thought I barely noticed when my roommate walked in the door.<\/p>\n<p>&ldquo;How was the thing you went to?&rdquo; my roommate said. Was she looking at me funny or was it just me?<\/p>\n<p>&ldquo;It was fine,&rdquo; I said, scrambling to get my guard up. &ldquo;How&rsquo;s your day been?&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>&ldquo;It&rsquo;s been good,&rdquo; she said, but her mouth kind of twitched, like there was something else she wanted to say. &ldquo;I was watching TV this morning and I saw you at the memorial service. Was your dad the pilot on Flight 11? I wish I had known.&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>I&rsquo;d tried so hard to avoid this conversation. With a sigh I said, &ldquo;It&rsquo;s just a hard thing to talk about. I was really hoping to get to know you better first. And I wanted you to get to know me.&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>I could see she was trying to think of what to say. &ldquo;I understand,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;It was just kind of shocking to see my roommate on TV. Listen, the reason why I came back is I&rsquo;ve been out with some other students collecting money for Hurricane Katrina victims. Want to help?&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>Helping others. That&rsquo;s what Dad was all about. What better way to honor him today! Would it help with these feelings?<\/p>\n<p>&ldquo;Sure,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;You don&rsquo;t know how great that sounds.&rdquo; I headed out with her.<\/p>\n<p>After some orientation we all spread across campus. I walked up to a student and introduced myself. &ldquo;Hi, my name is Caroline. I&rsquo;m a freshman here and I&rsquo;m collecting money for people hurt by the hurricane. Would you be willing to help?&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p><!--pagebreak--><\/p>\n<p>&ldquo;Sure,&rdquo; he said, digging five dollars out of his jeans. &ldquo;I&rsquo;d love to do something. Maybe I&rsquo;ll see you around campus.&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>By evening I&rsquo;d raised over a hundred dollars.<\/p>\n<p>Heading across campus I thought about the afternoon. It left me with a kind of tingling feeling inside. For years it had been me on the receiving end of people&rsquo;s sympathy. It was well-meant sympathy, but it was also a kind of wall, a 9\/11 wall.<\/p>\n<p>Now here I was doing something to help other people hurt by senseless tragedy. I had met dozens of new people, none of whom saw me as anything but a college student. It felt good. Actually, it felt incredible.<\/p>\n<p>I was walking back to the dorm when I saw the labyrinth on my left. I walked over to it. At the entrance I again read the verse inscribed there, from Isaiah, one of Dad&rsquo;s favorites. &ldquo;They that hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar as with eagles&rsquo; wings&hellip;&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>Dad was always happiest when he was doing something for others, when he was working for a common good. It was as if I were looking down a long row of a freshly plowed field, my father&rsquo;s tractor far in the distance.<\/p>\n<p>I realized how I could best honor Dad&rsquo;s memory, following a row already tilled for me. Could I find my identity within 9\/11? Could it actually hold the seeds for who I wanted to be in life? It was hard to believe.<\/p>\n<p>Pulling out my cell phone I called Mom. &ldquo;I&rsquo;ve been thinking about Dad a lot today, about 9\/11 and who I want to be. I think I partially know the answer. I&rsquo;d like to do work where I&rsquo;m helping other people, people who have been in tragedies.&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>Mom was silent for a moment. Then she said, &ldquo;Caroline, I think that&rsquo;s wonderful. It&rsquo;s funny because even when you were a little girl that&rsquo;s how your dad and I saw you.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;I remember when you were only two years old and I was pregnant with your sister you put a blanket around me when I wasn&rsquo;t feeling well. You&rsquo;ve always been such a caring person. Just like your father.&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>When I hung up the phone there was that tingling feeling again.<\/p>\n<p>I graduated last spring, and as another school year begins I&rsquo;m preparing to earn a master&rsquo;s in counseling psychology at Boston College, in hopes of working with children dealing with trauma.<\/p>\n<p>For the last four years I&rsquo;ve volunteered for the Red Cross, urging college students to give blood. I&rsquo;m becoming my own person, the one my dad would have wanted me to be.<\/p>\n<p>This year on September 11 our family will gather at the farm for a more private ceremony. Far from the roar of the city, it&rsquo;s not a place that stirs memories of 9\/11. But I&rsquo;ve learned that&rsquo;s okay.<\/p>\n<p>It&rsquo;s the perfect spot for me to honor a farmer, a pilot, my dad, a caring man, whose love guides me to this day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I quietly closed the door of my freshman dorm room behind me at Boston College, but not before I glanced back at the photo of Dad and me. The one of me as a girl sitting on his lap in the cockpit of a 767. I wish you were here, Dad, I thought as I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":29956,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[226],"tags":[76,51,70,205,22],"ppma_author":[841],"class_list":["post-22625","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coping-with-grief","tag-father","tag-inspirational-stories","tag-mother","tag-sister","tag-spring"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v26.6 (Yoast SEO v27.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Daughter of the 9\/11 Pilot - Guideposts Articles<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Daughter of the 9\/11 Pilot\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I quietly closed the door of my freshman dorm room behind me at Boston College, but not before I glanced back at the photo of Dad and me. 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