{"id":22804,"date":"2026-03-11T13:39:13","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T13:39:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/the-unlikely-caregiver-that-changed-her-mind\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:15:00","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:15:00","slug":"the-unlikely-caregiver-that-changed-her-mind","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/health-and-wellness\/caregiving\/hope-and-inspiration\/stories-of-hope-for-caregivers\/the-unlikely-caregiver-that-changed-her-mind\/","title":{"rendered":"The Unlikely Caregiver That Changed Her Mind"},"content":{"rendered":"

I sat at the kitchen table in my bathrobe, bleary-eyed, looking down at the steaming cup of coffee in my hand early on a Saturday morning back in the spring of 2002. I had been up most of the night with my 18-year-old son Joel, who has autism<\/a>. Life had been a roller-coaster ride since Joel hit puberty. There were many nights he slept only two hours, and days when he threw one tantrum after the other. My husband, Wally, and I never knew what might set off an explosion.<\/p>\n

We can\u2019t do this on our own, I thought again that morning. It\u2019s too hard. Wally and I couldn\u2019t even enjoy church. Carol and Bob, the couple who used to teach the special-needs class, had moved on. I\u2019d hoped someone else might volunteer, but no one did. Now we couldn\u2019t sit through a service together without one of us having to take Joel out of the sanctuary because of his agitation.<\/p>\n

We prayed about moving Joel into a group home with staff that could better care for him. The county had even put him on an emergency housing list. But at the last minute we just couldn\u2019t let Joel go. It didn\u2019t feel like the right time.<\/p>\n

Now I took a long sip of coffee and looked out the window, wondering if Wally and I had made the right decision. I was exhausted, exhausted from being a mother and caregiver 24\/7. I had almost given up on my prayer that God would send us someone to care for Joel, someone who could understand my son, could understand his need for life to unroll at a predictable, well-ordered pace, who shared our faith and could even come to church with us on Sundays. I\u2019d lost track of the number of county-provided support staff who didn\u2019t work out, who just couldn\u2019t handle Joel. A new person was coming over from the agency later today, but I was running short on hope<\/a>. Help, Lord, I prayed again. We need someone for our son. Finally I got up from the table and trudged upstairs to get dressed.<\/p>\n

A couple of hours later there was a knock at the door. Joel stood by my side while I opened it. \u201cThe agency sent me,\u201d a handsome young man said. He was soft-spoken with an accent I didn\u2019t recognize. There was a soothing quality to his voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome in,\u201d I said, glancing at Joel and hoping he wouldn\u2019t start acting out right away. But he didn\u2019t. In fact, he seemed almost calm. We sat down in the living room. \u201cMy name is Mohamed,\u201d the man said. \u201cI\u2019m from Mauritania, Africa. I cared for my mother in my country until she passed away, then I moved here because I have always wanted to live in the United States.\u201d<\/p>\n

Suddenly Joel got up. Oh, no\u2026 I thought. But he went over and sat beside Mohamed. \u201cYou have a new friend,\u201d I said, a bit surprised. \u201cJoel doesn\u2019t normally sit next to strangers.\u201d Mohamed turned to Joel and started asking him questions.<\/p>\n

\u201cJoel,\u201d I said, \u201cwhy don\u2019t you get your photo album to show Mohamed?\u201d For the next hour I watched the two of them together, paging through the book. Mohamed pointed to one picture after another. \u201cWho\u2019s that?\u201d he\u2019d ask Joel or \u201cThere you are with your dad at the zoo, right?\u201d or \u201cIs that your dog?\u201d Joel responded happily with a simple shake of his head or a quiet yes or no.<\/p>\n

I was relieved at how well they seemed to get on together. \u201cWhen can you start?\u201d I asked when Mohamed finally got up to leave. \u201cI can start this week,\u201d he said. Joel and I followed him to the door and watched him as he walked away.<\/p>\n

Later that evening I told Wally about Mohamed. \u201cI liked him immediately,\u201d I said. \u201cThere was something so calming about him when he greeted Joel and me.\u201d \u201cWell, he certainly sounds terrific,\u201d Wally said. \u201cMaybe our prayers for a caregiver have finally been answered.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, we\u2019ll probably still have to find someone to help us out on Sundays,\u201d I said. \u201cI wonder if I could ask Mohamed.\u201d<\/p>\n

The transformation was so amazing that it sometimes took my breath away. Around Mohamed, Joel\u2019s anxiety began to ebb and his tantrums became almost nonexistent. The peace I had felt from Mohamed the first time I met him was a completely calming influence on my son. Under Mohamed\u2019s watchful care, Joel became that lovable boy he had been before the tantrums started. Now if only we could find someone to help us out on Sundays too.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not ask Mohamed?\u201d Wally said. \u201cJoel really likes him. It might just be a great solution.\u201d A couple of days later when Mohamed came over to take Joel to the zoo I asked him, \u201cDo you go to church?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m a Muslim,\u201d he said. \u201cI worship at the local mosque.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh\u2026\u201d I said. \u201cWally and I need help with Joel in church on Sunday mornings,\u201d I continued hesitantly. \u201cWould that be a problem for you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat would be fine,\u201d Mohamed said, and smiled. \u201cI can worship God in your sanctuary as well as in my mosque.\u201d Of course, I thought, why would God send us someone who couldn\u2019t help us on Sundays?<\/p>\n

Five years down the road Mohamed is practically a member of our family. \u201cHe\u2019s my brubber,\u201d Joel says at least once a day, pointing to a picture of the two of them on the refrigerator door. And when Mohamed slips into the pew next to Joel at our church on Sunday mornings, Joel grabs his hand. I\u2019m struck by the beautiful contrast in skin tones and by the mysterious ways<\/a> of this God we love. Mohamed was not the answer to prayer that I\u2019d expected. But he was the one that we needed.<\/p>\n

This story first appeared in the April 2008 issue of<\/em> Guideposts<\/strong><\/a> magazine<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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