A November evening and my family, as usual, was eating. All of us, my five siblings and I, plus spouses and kids, were at Mom and Dad\u2019s for Mom\u2019s birthday. We were plowing through a typical Dean spread\u2014chips, dip, cupcakes, cake and ice cream.<\/p>\n
Mom and Dad were on the sofa, where they sat so often the cushions had permanent indents. None of us was what you\u2019d call skinny. But watching everyone, myself included, polish off slabs of cake, I suddenly realized \u201cnot skinny\u201d was the understatement of the year.<\/p>\n
The real word for us was “fat.” Not fatter than most people we knew\u201465 percent of Nebraskans are overweight\u2014but fat nonetheless. Out of shape. Nowhere near the vigorous people God created us to be.<\/p>\n
We\u2019d tried to lose weight. But something was missing. Something I was still feeling my way toward that evening when, on impulse, I blurted, \u201cHey, listen up! We need to have a family meeting.\u201d<\/p>\n
Conversation stopped and everyone turned to look at me, their eyes puzzled.<\/p>\n
\u201cUm,\u201d I said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry to interrupt, guys, but, well, I think we need to talk\u2014about our weight.\u201d The room got quiet. \u201cLook, I\u2019ve been thinking about this a lot lately. We\u2019re the closest family anyone could ask for. We talk about everything\u2014except this one issue.<\/p>\n
“Look at us. I\u2019m at least 30 pounds overweight. Jeremy\u2019s more than twice that. And the girls are always yo-yo dieting. Dad\u2019s diabetic, and he and Mom can hardly get on the floor to play with their grandkids. But we never talk about it.<\/p>\n
“I can\u2019t believe I\u2019m bringing it up now. If it wasn\u2019t for a TV show I\u2019ve been watching, I\u2019d probably still keep quiet.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTV show?\u201d someone asked tentatively.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, The Biggest Loser<\/em>. You guys have seen it. You probably remember me making fun of it, all those personal trainers and tailored diets. But I realized something. The show does<\/em> have the key to losing weight. It\u2019s just not what they say it is.\u201d Everyone leaned forward.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s accountability,\u201d I went on. \u201cThe reason people on that show lose weight is because they know that if they sneak downstairs to gorge on brownies at midnight, the whole world will know. They don\u2019t want to let the audience down.<\/p>\n “Here\u2019s what I think. What if we became each other\u2019s audience? Dieted together? Held each other accountable? We talk every day. Why can\u2019t we use our closeness to lose weight? I\u2019m sick of being fat. I want to be healthy. Don\u2019t you think we could do it if we all did it together?\u201d<\/p>\n There was a moment of stunned silence. I knew what everyone was thinking. Dieting for the Deans would mean unlearning eating habits formed way back when Mom, feeding a big family on a small income, had fallen back on a fattening diet of fried chicken, pizza, ice cream and snacks.<\/p>\n We liked eating that way. Heck, most people we knew liked<\/em> eating that way. Giving it up would be painful.<\/p>\n I sketched out a plan I\u2019d been concocting, all about daily exercise and monitoring each other\u2019s calories and nutrition. Before I finished, excited voices began drowning out my words. \u201cOf course!\u201d cried my sister Julie. \u201cWhy didn\u2019t we think of it before?\u201d \u201cI love it,\u201d said Jeremy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Suddenly, Dad\u2019s voice cut in. \u201cThat sounds nice, Tony. But the holidays are coming up. Don\u2019t you think we should wait till after? I don\u2019t want to miss my cherry pie.\u201d Dad loved<\/em> his cherry pie.<\/p>\n Instantly, the room deflated. \u201cDad\u2019s got a point.\u201d \u201cYeah, maybe we should wait.\u201d It was late. Soon everyone was heading for the door.<\/p>\n Thanksgiving came. Weirdly, while we polished off turkey, rolls, stuffing and pie, everyone talked about my diet plan. What was going on? An answer seemed to come from someplace outside myself. They want to do it. They just don\u2019t know how<\/em>.<\/p>\n The next day I sat at my computer. I\u2019d found a website maintained by the Harvard School of Public Health called \u201cThe Nutrition Source,\u201d an easy-to-read guide to eating right. Using its recommendations, I put the finishing touches on a chart that set out the amount of calories, fat, carbs protein and fiber each of us should consume daily.<\/p>\n I wrote out a few ground rules. Everyone had to exercise at least 30 minutes a day, burning at least one more calorie than they had the day before. No foods were off limits. As long as we met our nutritional targets, we could eat what we wanted\u2014even cherry pie.<\/p>\n Everyone had to check in with a partner daily and report what they ate. Most important, partners had to call each other whenever temptation struck.<\/p>\n When the plan was finished, I sent an e-mail out to everyone: \u201cGuys, no more procrastinating. If we\u2019re going to do this diet, we have to do it now. Everyone meet at my house tomorrow morning for a weigh-in. I\u2019m serious.\u201d<\/p>\n The next morning I lugged a scale into the kitchen. Everyone filed in, Mom, Dad, Tracy, Tina, Jamie, Jeremy and Julie. Their faces were nervous but hopeful. Dad stepped on first. \u201cTwo hundred seventy-one,\u201d he said, as if he couldn\u2019t believe he\u2019d let himself go so far.<\/p>\n Mom was next. She stepped up and gasped. \u201cTwo-hundred-sixty-five,\u201d she whispered. \u201cI had no idea.\u201d For a moment the room was silent. Mom stepped down, tears in her eyes. Suddenly Jeremy put an arm around her shoulder, \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Mom,\u201d he said. \u201cYou\u2019re going to lose it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah!\u201d echoed Jamie. \u201cWe\u2019re here for you!\u201d Soon, everyone was cheering.<\/p>\n That night at 10, when we knew no one would be there, we trooped to a local gym, which had agreed to give us a two-week free trial membership. We were a sorry-looking bunch, most of us wearing big shirts to hide our un-gym-like bodies.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s start with the treadmill,\u201d I said. Mom and Dad had trouble getting balanced, so I set their machines to the slowest setting. Even so, pretty soon we had to help them off. Dad was wheezing. The rest of us weren\u2019t doing any better.<\/p>\n The next night, though, we were back. Even Dad was amazed at how much easier it was. And we kept on improving.<\/p>\n Tracy, who had about 30 pounds to lose, bought a second-hand treadmill to use at home, since her schedule sometimes kept her from making it to the gym. She ran up and down her basement stairs for a little more exercise.<\/p>\n Jeremy started playing basketball every night. I took up swimming. E-mails flew. \u201cGuys, I found a great bagel\u2014whole wheat, 19 grams of fiber, only 150 calories.\u201d \u201cYou\u2019ll never believe this. There\u2019s a chocolate cream-filled cupcake, only 100 calories a pack, five grams of fiber.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The night before our next weigh-in I lay awake. What if no one lost an ounce? What if this fails?<\/em> Didn\u2019t losing weight come down to willpower anyway? If it did, we were sunk. God, I don\u2019t want to let everyone down. Please make this work<\/em>.<\/p>\n Just like at Thanksgiving, I seemed to sense an answer: It has to be more than just about you<\/em>. I didn\u2019t quite understand.<\/p>\n Until suddenly I realized what the missing ingredient had been in our other dieting efforts. Accountability, to each other and to God. If we could be true to each other this time, we\u2019d be true to God and the plan would work.<\/p>\n He wanted us to be healthy, made us to be. God was with us. I felt myself relax.<\/p>\n Saturday morning, everyone showed up in my kitchen. Everyone cheered. Jamie got on. She was 13 pounds lighter! Everyone else lost weight too, an average of seven pounds apiece. We all looked at each other. Without another word, we fell into a giant bear hug.<\/p>\n Two and a half years later, our bear hugs take up a lot less room. Our family lost a combined total of 500 pounds on the diet we call F.A.S.T.\u2014Families Always Succeed Together. We\u2019ve kept it off. Dad\u2019s diabetes is gone. Mom lost 72 pounds. Tina runs half-marathons.<\/p>\n We\u2019ve been on TV, written a book, and this year we\u2019re organizing people all over the country to try our diet.<\/p>\n It\u2019s been a heady ride. None of it, though, beats what happened just the other weekend. The family got together at Mom and Dad\u2019s. We sat around talking\u2014and eating\u2014while the kids played on the floor.<\/p>\n Well, not just the kids. Mom and Dad were down there too. I don\u2019t think they sat on that old sofa once.<\/p>\n Learn more about Tony Dean’s weight-loss program in Lose Weight the F.A.S.T. Way<\/a> and The 10-Day Quick-Start Program<\/a>.<\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A November evening and my family, as usual, was eating. All of us, my five siblings and I, plus spouses and kids, were at Mom and Dad\u2019s for Mom\u2019s birthday. We were plowing through a typical Dean spread\u2014chips, dip, cupcakes, cake and ice cream. Mom and Dad were on the sofa, where they sat so […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":30057,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[360,341],"tags":[372],"ppma_author":[801],"class_list":["post-22834","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coping-with-illness","category-living-longer-living-better","tag-weight-loss"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n