{"id":23301,"date":"2026-03-11T14:31:00","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T14:31:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/uncategorized\/the-art-of-the-apology\/"},"modified":"2026-04-10T06:16:01","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T06:16:01","slug":"the-art-of-the-apology","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gpbookstore.org\/articles\/positive-living\/the-art-of-the-apology\/","title":{"rendered":"The Art of the Apology"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m sorry. <\/em>Two little words that play a big part in our daily vocabulary. You might apologize<\/a> while squeezing through a crowd or using the last of the printer paper at work. We toss off these everyday \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u2019s,\u201d but true apologies are a different story.<\/p>\n

Even if you feel guilty for having hurt someone, you might have trouble finding the right way to express your remorse. How do you give a meaningful apology<\/a>? How do you ask for one? If both parties are at fault, who should say sorry first? With these tips, you\u2019ll find that sorry <\/em>doesn\u2019t have to be the hardest word.<\/p>\n

Keep it real<\/strong>
\n\u201cFor the person who needs an apology, it\u2019s a validation of their feelings,\u201d says Beverly Engel, author of The Power of Apology. <\/em>\u201cIt\u2019s very healing<\/a>. If someone admits they did something wrong, it helps us not feel leery. We can let our guard down.\u201d<\/p>\n

But the relationship will remain strained if the apology seems perfunctory. You have to be truly willing to apologize. Are you afraid that saying sorry will make you look weak? Actually, a sincere apology helps repair not only the relationship but also your reputation\u2014you\u2019re showing that you can be trusted to do what\u2019s right<\/a>. Avoid the nonapology apology: \u201cI\u2019m sorry you were offended by what I said.\u201d It\u2019s doublespeak.<\/p>\n

Sometimes it\u2019s better to leave a hurt in the past. If apologizing means reaching out to someone who will cause you harm or be emotionally damaged by being reminded of your actions, forgive yourself and move on.<\/p>\n

The three R\u2019s<\/strong>
\nA meaningful apology comes down to what Engel calls the three R\u2019s\u2014regret<\/a>, responsibility and remedy.<\/p>\n

Communicate your regret. Show the other person you recognize your error and empathize with her pain<\/a>. Try to see the situation from her point of view. A statement such as \u201cI know I hurt your feelings, and I feel awful about it\u201d can go a long way.<\/p>\n

Take complete responsibility. Don\u2019t make excuses or blame the victim. If you feel the need to explain your actions, keep it brief and follow it with a sincere mea culpa, such as \u201cMy behavior was unacceptable.\u201d<\/p>\n

Show that you\u2019re working to remedy the situation. Offer to make up for the harm you caused. Or explain the steps you\u2019re taking to make sure it doesn\u2019t happen again.<\/p>\n

Asking for it<\/strong>
\nIf you\u2019re the offended party, describe what\u2019s changed in the relationship and how you feel about it. For example, you could say, \u201cThere\u2019s this rift between you and me, and I want us to be friends again. But I\u2019ve been hurt, and I\u2019d like an apology. I need you to acknowledge what you did.\u2019\u2019 Don\u2019t demand. Emphasize that the relationship is important to you.<\/p>\n

Two-way street<\/strong>
\nSay a misunderstanding turned into a nasty exchange. You want to reconcile but feel the other person should apologize first. \u201cIf you recognize that you played a role, examine why you feel you need them to apologize first. It\u2019s probably pride<\/a>,\u201d says Engel. Get over it.<\/p>\n

Try: \u201cWe had this disagreement, and I feel we\u2019re both to blame. I want to apologize for my part.\u201d You\u2019re acknowledging the blunder and asking the other person to take responsibility as well. Most people will appreciate the initiative and step up, but there are no guarantees.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s something to keep in mind anytime you offer an apology. Don\u2019t expect immediate forgiveness<\/a>. It might take the other person a while to process your words and their feelings first. Still, don\u2019t you feel lighter now that you\u2019ve let go of your burden of guilt?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

For more inspiring stories, subscribe to <\/em>Guideposts<\/strong><\/a> magazine<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m sorry. Two little words that play a big part in our daily vocabulary. You might apologize while squeezing through a crowd or using the last of the printer paper at work. We toss off these everyday \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u2019s,\u201d but true apologies are a different story. Even if you feel guilty for having hurt someone, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":30291,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"ep_exclude_from_search":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[136],"tags":[58,55],"ppma_author":[509],"class_list":["post-23301","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-positive-living","tag-guideposts","tag-inspiration"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe Art of the Apology - Guideposts Articles<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Art of the Apology\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I\u2019m sorry. 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